The Young Enthusiast
Well, I find myself alone in a field in the rain sheltering under a large warm oak there’s mud splattered up my legs and my head is spinning with hunger. I see only the grey murky dampness of grass, peat, rotting vegetation and dark oozing mud.
I gulp some thirsty mouthfuls of water the cool liquid cooling my throat and regaining composure.
At my feet is a box, I look down at this box and in my eyes a flicker of jealousy appears, for in this box is a snug ball of hay which is enclosing a sleeping fistful of ferrets, these wonderful little creatures, pink nosed and frail looking, are my army and out across this windy wet outcrop is our enemy.
We set off “bag o’ nets” slung over my shoulder in search of Coney.
We locate a small warren “looks active” I loosely mumble staring down at the small pile of round fresh scat littering the first entrance.
I carefully put my box of soldiers down and access the situation at hand…
“Nets!” out they come a variety of colours and materials all are to be used in some way or another.
Carefully I crouch creeping forward net in hand I spread its edges on the entrance and slide the peg in… “Ugghh first one in”
I grumble at the state of my trousers “Jesus new on last week”
Slowly the sky begins to brighten as I set the last few nets.
Then its time to prepare the Spartans for battle, on go there collars each one tight so it will not fly off in the heat of battle I check to make sure each is working and give them a prep talk “right ferrets, you go and show them what were made of.”
Slowly one by one they enter.
I am waiting poised in anticipation wondering what they are doing down there, I envy them, then after a few minuets I get a bolt a cowardly young rabbit runs blindly out into an awaiting net.
I rush forwards arms out stretched ready to tackle the quarry “you’ve had your chips” I grunt as I feel its neck pop.
I sling it down next too the net bag and re set the net.
A few minuets later the ferrets start to reappear first Beanz, a young plucky last year’s kit comes up gives me her look. “ Oi! I think there could be more down hear” I let her get on with it a few seconds later she is down again a different route this time possibly to ambush her prey.
Then big bully Erik makes an appearance, battle scared from rats and buck rabbits he is old and tough but he is a good friend lifts his head up and stares at me “did you get that rabbit I sent you”.
I smile as he decides to wander up the field and I go to help him I gently lift him up and put him in the box where he promptly curls up and goes to sleep.
Then the mad one “bandit” decides its her turn too crash the party, skipping and jumping she comes mouth wide open running across the grass happy as a spring lamb shame too shove her free spirited self in a box with a grumpy hob so I let her continue.
Then in a flurry she disappears and as she does another rabbit makes a dash for it, only too tangle in a net. I run forward again this time to stop Beanz terrorizing it. She has come up behind it and is grabbing it needle sharp claws and glinting diamond eyes flashing dangerously at me warning me not to take her prey but I’m the boss hear so I man handle the rabbit form her and quickly dispatch it. She gives me another look “ hey I was going to do that” but I don’t let her get her hopes up and snatch her up in my arms for a cuddle she is fighting me off I know she likes it but she is trying to act senior. I put her back into the box and she drops off too sleep now where is that mad one….
Well after much searching I cant find her so I pull up the nets and have a small glance up the hedgerow sure enough there she is happy as Larry away with the fairies. I walk over and collect her she licks my hands lovingly, why people have this idea of them being vicious thumb crunches is beyond me.
Anyway off we go in search of more warrens we cross a small ditch with muddy dark water trickling across small hard pebbles in the back Eddie I see swirls and wonder what is down there.
I stop to let the ferrets have a drink and small play and I carefully unwrap my lunch, a small roll with something that resembles meat and a bottle of water, it is getting quite hot now compared too when I set out, the sun is shining high.
The ferrets are having fun dabbling about licking the cold water up.
I finish straighten up and overlook my catch 2 nice healthy does.
Their dry fat bodies represent these fields with its peaty clay soil, my hands are orange with it.
I stoop and clean them off then I collect my 3 Fuzzies and continue on my way.
I stop off at the side of the road and over look a nearby field “ 3-4-5-6-7!”
I excitedly look on “ooh how I wish I had the owners permission….” I glance awkwardly up the road “….No one about!” I silently climb the gate and “im in”. I casually walk across the field to the warren I have spied. I put my tools down and snoop it out “16 holes, I have enough nets” I pour out the nets and select some hemp ones, light brown they go well with the bracken, I begin to set them and I hear a noise. I look up and around…. No one there then I look over a neighbouring field and sure enough there are two men walking down a track I follow the hedge and I realise with horror that the track joins the field im in. I have never moved quicker nets in the bag box up, bag over the shoulder and spade in my hand, I race for the gate I fling myself over and lie sweating and panting on the other side they walk in and appear to be making there way down towards me. I stifle my breathing and I can feel my heart racing.
I AM NOW A POACHER.
Anon