The one 8,513 Posted May 1, 2009 Report Share Posted May 1, 2009 At least with a blow up doll you know when her eyes turn white its time to trade her in :sick: :sick: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
foxfan 479 Posted May 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2009 I had a blow up doll once, when i gave her a love bite, she did an almighty fart and flew out the window ! ! ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
donk 12 Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 Aaaaaah yes,the eternal search for the soulmate The endless quest to find the lady who takes her chewing gum out of her mouth before popping parts of your anatomy in there The one who behaves like an angel in front of your mates,but is an animal in the bedroom and a wizard in the kitchen It's like the search for the holy grail,you get all kitted up,new shirt,new strides,down to the dentist for a quick scrape and polish. Brush up on the old chat up lines Scrape the old rabbit gunk from under your finger nails,wash the dogs in case you get lucky and they actually come back to your pad Then when you hit the town reality hits you like a f@ckin sledge hammer Theyre all laddettes these days! They drink more than you,spit more than you,swear more than you and start fights with doormen and expect you to bail them out They say you meet someone when you least expect it,and thats the way it happened for me. Dont get me wrong ive been out with a lot of women in my almost 5 years of being single,but none of them seemed quite right? Been out with a lot of women who had major 'head f@ck' problems for one reason or another,and to be honest i gave up on ever finding the right lady. I had more or less resigned my self to the fact that i was going to be single the rest of my life,and i think i was getting a bit dissolusioned. So i just started going out to enjoy life,got extremely drunk most weekends,done some rather silly stuff and then one day this lass came over to me. Reckoned she knew me from years ago,been seeing her for about 3 months now She's out of my league to be honest,years ago she was the posh bird and i was the lad from the council estate. Mebbes she likes a bit of rough? She's a bit of a hippy chick,laid back kinda thing,in touch with spiritual stuff and such like Totally not the kind of lass i was looking for,but weve 'clicked',. Dont know if its going to last,im not thinking that far ahead,just being a gent and seeing how it goes. She has calmed me down though. Its good being single,but with the right person its nice being in a relationship. 45 years old and falling in love again? :hmm: :hmm: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LDR 29 Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 She's out of my league to be honest,years ago she was the posh bird and i was the lad from the council estate. Mebbes she likes a bit of rough? She's a bit of a hippy chick,laid back kinda thing,in touch with spiritual stuff and such like Totally not the kind of lass i was looking for,but weve 'clicked',. Dont know if its going to last,im not thinking that far ahead,just being a gent and seeing how it goes. She has calmed me down though. Its good being single,but with the right person its nice being in a relationship. 45 years old and falling in love again? :hmm: :hmm: She must like it really rough if she's with you donk............... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
donk 12 Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 She must like it really rough if she's with you donk............... :clapper: you know im a sweet thing really Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest sitepatrol Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 dont we all mate.but the outher half wount let ne.Spoily spot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hyperion Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 im just a nutter magnet when it comes to women! one wanted me to get a loan then lend her £7000 to pay off her debts! another one insisted she was a princess and called me her "prince" and spoke to me in a stupid lala didums voice all the time, then shaved all her hair off when i dumped her! one kicked the cr#p out of me! twice! had a few that have given me the "if you ever leave me ill kill myself" line! and the one i thought was perfect? she was seeing five other blokes the whole time i was with her! went out on the pull last night and all ive got to show for it is a hicky on my neck and a hole that i can fit a two pence peice in in the side of my chest! being single aint all that bad! cheers hyperion Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LDR 29 Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 She must like it really rough if she's with you donk............... :clapper: you know im a sweet thing really I might know that, but i'm sure its other attributes you've got that she wants.......................... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
donk 12 Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 I might know that, but i'm sure its other attributes you've got that she wants.......................... Never thought she might be after me dogs Quote Link to post Share on other sites
donk 12 Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 im just a nutter magnet when it comes to women! one wanted me to get a loan then lend her £7000 to pay off her debts! another one insisted she was a princess and called me her "prince" and spoke to me in a stupid lala didums voice all the time, then shaved all her hair off when i dumped her! one kicked the cr#p out of me! twice! had a few that have given me the "if you ever leave me ill kill myself" line! and the one i thought was perfect? she was seeing five other blokes the whole time i was with her! went out on the pull last night and all ive got to show for it is a hicky on my neck and a hole that i can fit a two pence peice in in the side of my chest! being single aint all that bad! cheers hyperion Kin ell mate youre having worse luck than me :clapper: I had one tell me she was pregnant :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hyperion Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 Kin ell mate youre having worse luck than me :clapper: I had one tell me she was pregnant :laugh: thats scary! cheers hyperion Quote Link to post Share on other sites
donk 12 Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 Didnt scare me,made me laugh cos i cant father children no more,had the snip 12 years ago :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hyperion Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 Didnt scare me,made me laugh cos i cant father children no more,had the snip 12 years ago :clapper: ha ha ha! classic! cheers hyperion Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hyperion Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 im just a nutter magnet when it comes to women! one wanted me to get a loan then lend her £7000 to pay off her debts! another one insisted she was a princess and called me her "prince" and spoke to me in a stupid lala didums voice all the time, then shaved all her hair off when i dumped her! one kicked the cr#p out of me! twice! had a few that have given me the "if you ever leave me ill kill myself" line! and the one i thought was perfect? she was seeing five other blokes the whole time i was with her! went out on the pull last night and all ive got to show for it is a hicky on my neck and a hole that i can fit a two pence peice in in the side of my chest! being single aint all that bad! cheers hyperion You need to change your taste in women ...very quickly Why do you have a hole in your chest? she had sharp teeth! cheers hyperion Quote Link to post Share on other sites
donk 12 Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 im just a nutter magnet when it comes to women! one wanted me to get a loan then lend her £7000 to pay off her debts! another one insisted she was a princess and called me her "prince" and spoke to me in a stupid lala didums voice all the time, then shaved all her hair off when i dumped her! one kicked the cr#p out of me! twice! had a few that have given me the "if you ever leave me ill kill myself" line! and the one i thought was perfect? she was seeing five other blokes the whole time i was with her! went out on the pull last night and all ive got to show for it is a hicky on my neck and a hole that i can fit a two pence peice in in the side of my chest! being single aint all that bad! cheers hyperion You need to change your taste in women ...very quickly Why do you have a hole in your chest? she had sharp teeth! cheers hyperion pmsl,what was she doing biting the side of your chest? Is she a she-wolf or something? :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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