scent 509 Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 These are genuine responses from 16 year olds > > > > > > Geography > > Q: Name the four seasons. > > A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar. > > > > Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made > > safe to > > drink. > > A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes > > large > > pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep > > and canoeists. > > > > Q: How is dew formed? > > A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them > > perspire. > > > > Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? > > A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. > > All water tends > > to flow towards the moon, because > > there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a > > vacuum. I forget > > where the sun joins in this fight. > > > > Sociology > > Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? > > A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well > > endowed. > > > > Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? > > A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an > > election. > > > > Q: What are steroids? > > A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. > > > > Biology > > Q: What happens to your body as you age? > > A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get > > intercontinental. > > > > Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? > > A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his > > adultery. > > > > Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. > > A: Premature death. > > > > Q: What is artificial insemination? > > A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. > > > > Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? > > A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A] > > > > Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. > > abdomen) > > A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, > > the borax, > > the abdominal cavity. The brainium > > contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and > > lungs, and the > > abdominal cavity contains the five > > bowels, A, E, O,U, and I. > > > > Q: What is the Fibula? > > A: A small lie. > > > > Q: What does 'varicose' mean? > > A: Nearby. > > > > Q: What is the most common form of birth control? > > A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a > > condominium. > > > > Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean > > Section.' > > A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome. > > > > Q: What is a seizure? > > A: A Roman emperor. > > > > Q: What is a terminal illness? > > A: When you are sick at the airport > > > > Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic > > feature? > > A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look > > like > > umbrellas. > > > > English > > Q: Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show > > you understand its > > meaning > > A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. > > > > Q: What does the word 'benign' mean? > > A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. > > > > Technology > > Q: What is a turbine? > > A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,486 Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sterry 0 Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Worrying really. The other week my teacher was marking the mock papers and the question was simple enough...."how long is this line..,give answer to nearest cm" the kid wrote 180 degrees.....bless. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
trapperman 474 Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 quality Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Swampy 147 Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Now we know why this country is going down the pan!.........Oh and Gordon Brown of course Swampy Despondent Ning Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RaiderBoy 19 Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 well i sure i aint like that i got an A in science a C in maths and an A in engineering and i havent even done the rest of my exams yet Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jimmy0211 2 Posted April 22, 2009 Report Share Posted April 22, 2009 just got some of my results back (yr10 science and maths) got A* in biology A* in chemistry A in physics and maths resit got an A so im happy lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
claybusers al 9 Posted April 22, 2009 Report Share Posted April 22, 2009 had to stop couldnt read for laughing especially keeping the milk in the cow Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ferret feller Posted April 22, 2009 Report Share Posted April 22, 2009 i got a C in english a C in maths a C in science and all the rest were like D,s and E,s........... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
patchworkcrew 0 Posted April 25, 2009 Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 Agreed. The modern teacher is just like most other people. Targets have to be reached. It's not the fault of the teachers. It's the fault of the people that set the targets. So will those of you with kids in yr 6 or 9 boycott the SATS? Because that's what teachers want to happen. Then teachers can get on with what we value rather than what we count. Mind you - 50 years ago - what would have been the difference? Bob G Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.