The Short Straw

[comanche 3,038]

"That bit by the road junction that that no one wants to do ." Young James -my mates lad -gave us our orders before b*ggering -off to play a game of indoor bleedin cricket . Indoor cricket on a Sunday morning when he should have been ripping himself to shreds on blackthorn not mincing about in a village hall dressed like something from Brideshead Revisited .. . Ponce. We told him this of course but apart from promising to come and see how were doing later it made little difference.

So it was that two distinguished gentlemen found themselves scrabbling about like a couple of perverts in the roadside hedges in order to catch the rabbits who's death- the boy reckoned -would ensure our reputations and hence ferreting permission would be greatly increased . Strange how the boy had chickened out.Indoor bleedin cricket indeed. Strange also how my companion -the boy's Father seemed worryingly at ease lurking in the bushes . I made a mental note to quiz him on his knowledge of local off-road parking spots . Purely for research you understand .

Having managed to set something over 100 nets we ran my 70yard long-net out. It used to be 75yards but there was an accident involving something quite large one night. Then we drew straws to see who would stand in the field and who gaurded the road .

 

I'm the one in the high viz jacket so no guesses who lost the draw.

 

All went well for a while but suddenly I found myself juggling three netted rabbits and a couple of ferrets whilst my mate stood impotently only a couple of yards away. He was totally unable to get through the blackthorn to help me. Order was restored and we steadily moved along the hedge as the ferrets worked their wicked subteranean way from one end to the other of the burrow. A car came along the road at a fairly sedate pace but instead od idling past like any sensible person on a country road the driver took it into their head to accelerate towards me . Keeping my dignity I scurried like a Brownie chased by Gary Glitter to safety . The driver of the car was revealled as James' girlfriend who cheerily informed me that my hi-viz jacket made a great target. James had helped his team to a quick victory and come to join us in the war on roadside rabbits.

It was bit late by then of course .The ferrets had almost reached the end of the working. Not one bunny had slipped either the long-net or the purse-nets and not once had we even had to think of reaching for the spade. Twenty- two hard -won rabbits swung in the cooling breeze. Being on the wrong side of the hedge I can't claim to have seen what happened next but I certainly heard about it and poor James will be reminded of it for years to come no doubt. Rabbit number twenty-three emerged and apparently made for daylight between the boy and his father.. Rather than freeze the lad decided to try a spectacular diving catch but only succeeded in landing on the long-net thus allowing the bemused bunny to skip over the flattened meshes to freedom. No wonder he prefers bowling to fielding. Bleeding indoor cricketers .......

Edited March 1, 2009 by comanche

[andy s410c 61]

Full on net setting C least you's had a good bag to show for it Young'ins today they all want flogging just as well the old guard are there to keep things right

[comanche 3,038]

Full on net setting C least you's had a good bag to show for it Young'ins today they all want flogging just as well the old guard are there to keep things right

Quite right . Had the boy been with us from the start we would have been both obliged by tradition and within our rights to have given him a good flogging before sending him into the hedge to set all the nets whilst his father and I sat back admiring the countryside and engaging attractive lady horse-riders in conversation.

[andy s410c 61]

Full on net setting C least you's had a good bag to show for it Young'ins today they all want flogging just as well the old guard are there to keep things right

Quite right . Had the boy been with us from the start we would have been both obliged by tradition and within our rights to have given him a good flogging before sending him into the hedge to set all the nets whilst his father and I sat back admiring the countryside and engaging attractive lady horse-riders in conversation.

I mean you used to shoot a Relum Tornado C You need to be shown respect .As a young lad i was that scared of me old man i used to hide behind the wallpaper

[The one 8,484]

Nice one great numbers and you only lost one rabbit

[stubby 175]

nicely written up post mate, enjoyable to read

[SamMoss17 0]

nicely written up post mate, enjoyable to read

agreed.

[stephen58 1]

Hi K ( green weasal ) nice write up , mind you those nets clash with your vest tried to get hold of you the other week , left a message on your phone , i had a little rabbit job for you in Maplehurst/ Nuthurst area I had to go and do it my~self , oh well maybe next time K , best regards Steve

[pigeonphill 69]

best read ive had in along time you should be writing books but i wont say what type, first class

[stealthy1 3,964]

Good read, get another posted.