GameBirdMeg 21 Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 If Men Vacuumed He said ........ "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it." She said ...... "You wear pants don't you?" He said ..... "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?" She said ..... "That's a great idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa." He said ....... "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?" She said .... "Turn sideways and look in the mirror!" On a wall in a ladies room . .. "My husband follows me everywhere" Written just below it . " I DO NOT!!" Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them! Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer. Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds? A. The bonds mature. Q.. Why are blonde jokes so short? A. So men can remember them. Q How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A. We don't know!!! It's never happened!!! Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A... A widow!!! Q.Why are married women heavier than single women? A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married!!! Man says to God:"God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says:"So you would love her." But God,"the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says:"So she would love you." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,496 Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GameBirdMeg 21 Posted February 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 Its so true though! Lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thehunter09 1 Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
miss lurcher bitch 319 Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 well wat a laugh good one Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurchergrrl 1,441 Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 All very true Except for Cammo Man - he washes up and hoovers. Now there's a real man! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferretess 230 Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 ooohhhh and there all sooooo true :clapper: brilliant :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WHITEYrs4 29 Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 lmao>> Q How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A. We don't know!!! It's never happened!!! Thats true Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JPTfellterrier 65 Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 good one:laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thepriest 0 Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 Veyy funny, You need to get out more girls if your going to tar all men with the same brush though. :kiss: :kiss: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GameBirdMeg 21 Posted February 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 Veyy funny, You need to get out more girls if your going to tar all men with the same brush though. :kiss: :kiss: Whys that..? are you an exception??? My other half can quite manage to wash up his knives where his been out butchering rabbits and birds yet will bypass the rest of the washing up! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kash 1 Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 what is long,hard and f**ks a woman? an iq test what paralyses a woman from the waist down? marriage how do you stop a woman from sucking you r c**k? marry the bitch why hasn't a woman ever walked on the moon? because it's never needed cleaning how do turn a dishwasher into a snow plough? give th b***h a shovel sorry girls pay back Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattydski 560 Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 If men Vaccumed? We wouldn't need women Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GameBirdMeg 21 Posted February 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 what is long,hard and f**ks a woman?an iq test what paralyses a woman from the waist down? marriage how do you stop a woman from sucking you r c**k? marry the bitch why hasn't a woman ever walked on the moon? because it's never needed cleaning how do turn a dishwasher into a snow plough? give th b***h a shovel sorry girls pay back My joke wasn't that harsh!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
maty j 6 Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 Understanding a Woman We need REALLY MEANS I want You want REALLY MEANS You need It's your decision REALLY MEANS The correct decision should be obvious by now. We need to talk REALLY MEANS I need to complain Do what you want REALLY MEANS You'll pay for this later. You're ... so manly REALLY MEANS You need a shave and you sweat a lot. Sure... go ahead REALLY MEANS I don't want you to. I'm not upset REALLY MEANS Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're certainly attentive tonight. REALLY MEANS Is sex all you ever think about? I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! REALLY MEANS I'm on my period. Be romantic, turn out the lights. REALLY MEANS I'm Embarrassed This kitchen is so inconvenient REALLY MEANS I want a new house. You have to learn to communicate. REALLY MEANS Just agree with me. Yes REALLY MEANS No No REALLY MEANS No Maybe REALLY MEANS No I heard a noise REALLY MEANS I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? REALLY MEANS I'm going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? REALLY MEANS I did something you're not going to like. I'll be ready in a minute. REALLY MEANS Be patient I'll be a while. Am I a little fat? REALLY MEANS Tell me I'm beautiful. I'm sorry. REALLY MEANS You'll be sorry. Do you like this recipe? REALLY MEANS It's easy to fix, so get used to it. Was that the baby? REALLY MEANS Why don't you wake up and deal with the baby. I'm not yelling! REALLY MEANS Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. All we're going to buy is a soap dish REALLY MEANS Major shopping trip. Did you bring your checkbook Do I need to go on Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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