Halfinch 51 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 A Northern guy is sitting in a bar having a drink. In walks a gay guy and eyes him up, after a few drinks the gay guy goes up to the Northener, And whispers in his ear "do you fancy a blow job" The Northerner picks up a bar stool and batters the gay to a pulp before kicking him out the door. The barman comes over and says to the northerner, "Christ that was a bit brutal what did he say to you to make you do that?" "Dunno" Replies the Northerner "something about a job" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 My SOUTHERN uncle was a rubbish ventriloquist. He used to stick his hand up my a*se and then ask me not to say anything !! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 Looks like its past the southerners bed time, night night dont let the southern bed bugs bite !!!!!! No staying power you see. The northerners won again Quote Link to post Share on other sites
john hubery 9 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 A southeren goes to the doctors and has an x-ray, the doc says sorry to tell you but theres only one days work left in you, but thats OK it should last you for the rest of your life Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halfinch 51 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 A block of flats oopp north, was hit by a tornado at precisely 10am of the 15 families in the block the only surviver was a southern man. Why? Cause he was the only fecker at work. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 Where are all the Rab C Nessbitts to give us a hand here or have they all gone to Lidl for some more fire water. To hear the southerners talking like that about them they must have blood like water. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 This guy walks into a bar in Cornwall and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya....... where ya from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Plymouth." The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Plymouth?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says "I mount animals." The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halfinch 51 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 This guy walks into a bar in Cornwall and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya....... where ya from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Plymouth." The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Plymouth?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says "I mount animals." The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!" Was he a Northern bartender then?? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 A ventriloquist had traveled to the South and was performing a comedy routine when an audience member suddenly stood up. "Hey," he yelled, "you've been making cracks all night about how stupid we Southerners are, and I'm sick of it!" "Relax," the ventriloquist replied. "They're just jokes." "I'm not talking to you," the man shot back. "I'm talking to the loudmouth on your knee!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tuzo 251 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 Your scraping the barrel Halfinch Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 A young man in a bar in Sheffield leans over to the guy sitting next to him and says, "Hey buddy, do you wan to hear a "southerner" joke?" The second guy replies, "Before you tell that joke you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs..... and I'm a southerner. See my friend over there? He's is 6'2", 225 lbs..... and he's also a southerner. And see that big fella next to him? He's a southerner too. So, do you still want to tell that joke?" To which the young man answers, "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three times." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JoeD 24 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 Best one so far harry Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 3 men were in a pub the 1st man from Doncaster said "i found a packet of fags in my daughters room the other day, i didnt know she smoked" the 2nd man from Barnsley says "i found a pair of extra pants in my drawer they wernt even mine they were my sons" 3rd man Redruth says "i found a condom in my daughters room, i never knew she had a dick!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ulverston moocher 60 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 cheeky southern fu**ers Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halfinch 51 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 cheeky southern fu**ers LMAO Good to see northern intelligence at it's best. Who needs jokes. And Harry was doing so well. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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