Halfinch 51 Posted December 29, 2008 Report Share Posted December 29, 2008 A decent Southerner, a decent Northerner and Santa Clause are in a lift when an old lady drops a fiver, who would pick the fiver up for her? The Decent Southerner of course. The other two are Myths. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted December 29, 2008 Report Share Posted December 29, 2008 A decent Southerner, a decent Northerner and Santa Clause are in a lift when an old lady drops a fiver, who would pick the fiver up for her? The Decent Southerner of course. The other two are Myths. I wondered what had happened to you Halfinch, did they let you out on bail again, been up to your old tricks ???? Looks like you've been having lessons from another southerner in joined up writing how are the classes going. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halfinch 51 Posted December 29, 2008 Report Share Posted December 29, 2008 I can't type Joined up yet, But i guess being from up north you wouldn't know that. but i could do with a little help on the jokes front here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 I can't type Joined up yet, But i guess being from up north you wouldn't know that. but i could do with a little help on the jokes front here. OK I will give you a hand A Cornish fisherman is lying in bed with his wife one evening and all of a sudden the phone rings. The man picks up and two seconds later his wife hears him shout down the line. "WELL HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW I'M NOT THE BLOODY WEATHERMAN!" He then hangs up. His wife asks "Who on earth was that dear?" "Not sure," replies her husband. "It was some northern twat asking if the coast was clear." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 A poor southern farmer has three sheep and one old Ram. As the three sheep are not conceiving the farmer calls in the vet. Well, you have three options says the vet,a new ram or artificial insemination. "Sounds too costly" said the farmer, "but you said three options?" "Yes," said the vet, "do it yourself." The farmer was aghast "How will I know if it works?" "Well," said the vet "if they roll around in the mud the morning after you have made love to them then they are not pregnant, however if they roll around in the hay, they are pregnant." So, the next day the farmer takes the three sheep in his land rover and does the business. Next morning he calls to his wife "What are the sheep doing love?" "They are rolling in the mud Jack." So with a heavy heart he takes the three sheep in his land rover and once again does the business. Next moring "What are the sheep doing love" Suspiciuosly she says "They are rolling in the mud jack." By now exhausted he puts the sheep in to the land rover and does the business. Next morning "What are the sheep doing love?" "Well this is very strange," she answers. "Two of them are in the back of the Land Rover and the other one is pipping the horn!!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted January 2, 2009 Report Share Posted January 2, 2009 OK lads I give in you win this one hands down, the Northern lads cant match your southerner Bushy for being stupid you win. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest blackntan Posted January 2, 2009 Report Share Posted January 2, 2009 OK lads I give in you win this one hands down, the Northern lads cant match your southerner Bushy for being stupid you win. OH YEH JBS WILDLIFE Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halfinch 51 Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 OK lads I give in you win this one hands down, the Northern lads cant match your southerner Bushy for being stupid you win. OH YEH JBS WILDLIFE But he was caught lying. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 As jbs wildlife has been excluded from the party the Southerners are still the winners Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bobcastiger 0 Posted January 4, 2009 Report Share Posted January 4, 2009 a southerner goes in to a bar and asks for a quadruple scotch,then drinks it in one.barman asks"whats wrong"the man says "i came home early went up stairs and saw the wife being sha##ed by my best friend"what did you do ?asks the barman.the man says"told her to pack her things and f#ck off"what about your best friend?asks the barman. i looked him straight in the eyes and shouted"bad dog" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Halfinch 51 Posted January 4, 2009 Report Share Posted January 4, 2009 A Northern farmer walks into his bedroom one morning with a sheep under his arm. "Do you realise this is the smelly pig i have to f#ck when you aint up for it" He says. The Northern farmers wife replies "Er, i think you will find that is a sheep, not a pig!" The Northen farmer says "er, i think you will find i was talking to the Sheep." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bobcastiger 0 Posted January 4, 2009 Report Share Posted January 4, 2009 ugly southern bloke goes into his local with a big grin on his face what are you so happy about aska the landlord.Well i live by the railway and on my way home last night i noticed a woman tied to the tracks.I cut her free and we sha##ed all night loads of sex ,sha##ed her tits even had her up a##e i loved it.Did you get ablow job asks the landlord.no he replys i couldnt the head Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bobcastiger 0 Posted January 4, 2009 Report Share Posted January 4, 2009 ugly southern bloke goes into his local with a big grin on his face what are you so happy about aska the landlord.Well i live by the railway and on my way home last night i noticed a woman tied to the tracks.I cut her free and we sha##ed all night loads of sex ,sha##ed her tits even had her up a##e i loved it.Did you get ablow job asks the landlord.no he replys i couldnt find the head. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sneeky sneeky! 4 Posted January 4, 2009 Report Share Posted January 4, 2009 A Northern farmer walks into his bedroom one morning with a sheep under his arm. "Do you realise this is the smelly pig i have to f#ck when you aint up for it" He says. The Northern farmers wife replies "Er, i think you will find that is a sheep, not a pig!" The Northen farmer says "er, i think you will find i was talking to the Sheep." why are southern girls and mopeds alike? theyre both fun to ride untill your mates find out! lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kevegg 0 Posted January 4, 2009 Report Share Posted January 4, 2009 A southern bloke goes into a bar and orders 6 whiskies. After he's downed the first couple the barman says 'Is it your birthday or something?' The southerner says 'No, I just had my first blow job'. The barman says 'Congratulations, I'll get you one as well'. The southern bloke says 'It's OK, if 6 whiskies doesn't take the taste away, another one one make any difference'. Kev. (From up North). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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