simba 1 Posted December 27, 2008 Report Share Posted December 27, 2008 These are genuine clips from council complaint letters: 1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it. 2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore. 3. it's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow. 4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly then he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. 6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. 7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off. 8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? 9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall. 10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. 11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy. 13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers. 14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. 15. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink. 16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. 17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me. 18. The man next door has as large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. 19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it. 20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night. 21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife. 22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction. 23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted December 27, 2008 Report Share Posted December 27, 2008 Oh god i spat after 8 everywhere at No 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest jbswildlife Posted December 27, 2008 Report Share Posted December 27, 2008 :11: :11: :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darrell jnr 16 Posted December 27, 2008 Report Share Posted December 27, 2008 brilliant ..couldnt stop laughing ..cheers..haha Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hyperion Posted December 27, 2008 Report Share Posted December 27, 2008 classic! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cajunrules 8 Posted December 27, 2008 Report Share Posted December 27, 2008 6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. :clapper: Brilliant Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurchergrrl 1,441 Posted December 27, 2008 Report Share Posted December 27, 2008 18. The man next door has as large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted December 27, 2008 Report Share Posted December 27, 2008 18. The man next door has as large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. :11: Then next door to me probably think that about my husband Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurchergrrl 1,441 Posted December 27, 2008 Report Share Posted December 27, 2008 18. The man next door has as large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. :11: Then next door to me probably think that about my husband Well, most of the ones I've seen are unsightly but I've yet to see a dangerous one :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted December 27, 2008 Report Share Posted December 27, 2008 18. The man next door has as large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. :11: Then next door to me probably think that about my husband Well, most of the ones I've seen are unsightly but I've yet to see a dangerous one :laugh: Ohh roflmao Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest lurchers n lamps Posted December 27, 2008 Report Share Posted December 27, 2008 14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ulverston moocher 60 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 18. The man next door has as large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. :11: Then next door to me probably think that about my husband Well, most of the ones I've seen are unsightly but I've yet to see a dangerous one :laugh: dangerouse enough if you got it in your eye luv you wouldnt want it twice Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurchergrrl 1,441 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 I should think I'd see the thing coming and get out of the way in time Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,495 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mistwalker 0 Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 Fan-bloody-tastic!!! :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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