mattydski 560 Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 A is for Arteries. You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a shit about you. B is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!! C is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before. D is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained? E is for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies. F is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even stand to look at her. G is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period. H is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, you figure it out. I stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors. J stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy. K stands for Kill. L is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon by both parties. L is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love. M stands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for. N stands for Necropheliac. She didn't move very much, did she? O is for On top. When on top she has another O word. P is for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing you for a few hundred bucks a month. Q is for Quitter. She couldn't last. R is for Rich little Bitch. She bought my love but I paid for it. S stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do. T is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the truth. She also tortured you with lies. U is for Understatement. Saying you hate that bitch is an understatement. V is for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason you were dating her in the first place. W stands for Whine. She was a pro at this. X is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone. Y stands for You suck! Remember when she yelled that at you. Z stands for ZIPPER. This is what you got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!" . stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to you about taking what P stands for. It also means you won't get any for a week. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
polecat 1 Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 A is for Arteries. You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a shit about you. B is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!! C is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before. D is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained? E is for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies. F is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even stand to look at her. G is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period. H is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, you figure it out. I stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors. J stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy. K stands for Kill. L is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon by both parties. L is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love. M stands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for. N stands for Necropheliac. She didn't move very much, did she? O is for On top. When on top she has another O word. P is for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing you for a few hundred bucks a month. Q is for Quitter. She couldn't last. R is for Rich little Bitch. She bought my love but I paid for it. S stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do. T is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the truth. She also tortured you with lies. U is for Understatement. Saying you hate that bitch is an understatement. V is for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason you were dating her in the first place. W stands for Whine. She was a pro at this. X is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone. Y stands for You suck! Remember when she yelled that at you. Z stands for ZIPPER. This is what you got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!" . stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to you about taking what P stands for. It also means you won't get any for a week. been dumped mate shit when it goes pearshaped but its like a bike once pain goes get back on and start riding again its not that bad Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattydski 560 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 No, but still trying...... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
polecat 1 Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 No, but still trying...... you trying get dumped Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,487 Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 They appealed to my sense of humour Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattydski 560 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 No, but still trying...... you trying get dumped It a matter of politics Quote Link to post Share on other sites
polecat 1 Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 No, but still trying...... you trying get dumped It a matter of politics ok say no more Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fazza123 517 Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 Its a good one that!!! i must say,they are all bitches but the best way to get over one is get under another!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JohnGalway Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 I think you're being unfair on poor old Jim, think of the complete ..................... he's taken off your hands Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest mickyrichardson Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 THEY JUST SNAKES WITH TITS MATE Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeakOil 352 Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 I think that needs e mailing to a few bints I know. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hannah4181 260 Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 women are like carpets lay em properly the first time and you can walk on em for years Men are like toilets. . . . . . . . full of shit and always out of order. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
green oval 8 Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 women are just an attachment you screw to the bed to get the housework done.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hannah4181 260 Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 How are men and batteries different? Batteries have a positive side. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JordKil 0 Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 X is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone. Brill bit that. All good though Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.