SNAP SHOT 194 Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 JUST READ THAT OUT TO MY WIFE AND SHE PUNCHED ME. LOL At least you get a reaction!! Nice Mine's so sedentary, i get abuse from the funeral service for too many false alarms........................... nice one............... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattydski 560 Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:Marrying you has screwed up my life. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl'sempty and so is your head. I want to feel your sweet embrace; But don't take that paper bag off your face. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies! My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way? My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe 'Go to hell.' What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime [/quote are women iam in love with you. my loves deep my love is true to you women iam in love ,. you came to me an i dream iam sure you, gave your love an o such more to me women iam in love, your hairs so soft your eyes are blue you gave your love an o much more to me are women iam in love DO YOU TAKE THIS WOMEN IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH TO BE YOU LAWFULL WEDDED WIFE I DO ................................................................................ .................................................... ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR whats that you did say to me you didnt act like this yestusrday women your annoying meeeeeeee are you sit you in around the house in your dirty cloths your looking a mess your picking your nose are women i dont understand # arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr feck you feck you dont you tell me what to do arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr women go feck youself just 1 of my fav tunes by anti nowhear league any one hurd of them funnily enough... No Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Missie 1 Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 Aww, the men on here are such a bunch of romantics... i've been try to paddle this fooking canoe for about 7months now how fooking romantic do you want................ good to see we've got one woman thinking we're romantic ,good job lads.............. Not paddling hard enough Snaps, obviously... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattydski 560 Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN: Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromatize, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine, cajole, Anglicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship, and then go back, and start again. HOW TO SATISFY A MAN: Show up naked with food. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattydski 560 Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, to be honest, I've forgotten her name." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simba 1 Posted November 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early decided go to the party. As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening." "You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm. To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my costume to your Dad. Apparently he had the time of his life." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferretess 230 Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 Do you send many valentines ????? :laugh: didnt get many ! i wonder why ? well there's always next year Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simba 1 Posted November 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 is that a promise ha ha ha Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferretess 230 Posted November 18, 2008 Report Share Posted November 18, 2008 oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the anticipation :) only another 88 days to go :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simba 1 Posted November 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2008 I read a woman's valentines magazine the other day and saw an article entitled 'How to know what's going through the man in your lifes mind as hes choosing your present.' It was a surprisingly long article, which at no point featured the words, "This'll do! A giant Toblerone, she'll love that!" :thumbs-up: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferretess 230 Posted November 18, 2008 Report Share Posted November 18, 2008 oh i get a toblerone every year ,,,,, love the dark chocolate ones ,,, and when my laddie was away with school trip he brought his mammy back a pressie ,,, never seen one this big before,, he could hardly carry it and it lasted a very long time Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simba 1 Posted November 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 what can i say except how do you eat your cream eggs ?? i carnt tell you how i eat mine on here Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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