ace5 1 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 englishman irishman & scotsman having a chat englishman says our lass has bought a car she cant even drive scotsman says my wife's gone on a diet she's not even fat irishman say thats nowt my wifes took 30 condoms to spain and she's not got a c**k. lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jolong 1 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 nice one mate welshman, englishman and an irishman rob a bank.. as they leave the sirens are going off and they see blue flashing lights coming down the street... the police car gives chase so they are forced to run down an alley ... the alley has a dead end with three empty barrels in which they all hide in... welshman in first barrel.. englishman in second barrel.. irishman in third barrel ...police man comes down the alley and stops at the barrels ... gives the first barrel a kick and the welshman says: "WOOOF WOOF WOOOOOF." policeman shakes his head and kicks the second bin: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW" police man shakes his head and moves on ...he then kicks the third bin and to his surprise a voice answers: "SPUDS" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
177LANDY 0 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 A bloke marries a deaf girl ,he explains we need to have a code for sex I will stroke your breast for sex,if you agrre you can pull my c##k once if you don't agree you can pull it 99 times Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,473 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 Madonna has alway's said she loves our culture and wants to be more british. Well now she's a single mum with three kids one of the black.Transformation complete I'd say. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,473 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 A man goes to confession and say's " forgive me father.Last night i made love to twins,half my age in positions that i think are illegal,over and over again". The Priest thinks for a few minutes and say's " buy 7 lemons squeeze the juice into a glass and then drink it". Will this cleanse me of my sin?" ask's the man. "no" say's the priest" but it will wipe that stupid smile off your face . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,473 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 Paddy and Mick go on a rollercoaster. Mick says to Paddy, if we turn upside down do you think we'll fall out ?. Paddy say's will we f*ck,We've been mates for years . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simba 1 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 An Irishman goes for a job on a building site as an odd-job man. The foreman asks him what he can do. "I can do anything," says the Irishman. "Can you make tea?" says the foreman. "Jesus, yes," replies the Irishman. "I can make a great cup of tea." "Can you drive a forklift?" asks the foreman. "Mother of God!" replies the Irishman. "How big is the teapot?" An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and Welshman have all been captured in Iraq and told that they are going to be executed. But before they are killed they have all been granted one wish, but they are not allowed to wish against their punishment. The Welshman says, "I am a proud Welshman, so I wish for a thousand Welshmen to sing my national anthem just before I'm killed." The Scotsman says, "I am a proud Scotsman, so I wish for a thousand Scotsmen to sing my national anthem just before I'm killed." The Irishman says, "I am a proud Irishman, so I wish for a thousand Irishmen to sing my national anthem just before I'm killed." The Englishman says, "kill me first!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simba 1 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 An Irishman walks into work with both ears bandaged up. The boss says, "What the hell happened to your ears?" He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shit! I accidentally answered the iron." The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?" He says, "Well, I had to call the fuking doctor!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ssssh1forthepot 0 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 Whats black and bangs into tables?.....................Jordans baby What do you call a black man with a stutter?...........Cacoon!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
zap 4 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 Whats black and bangs into tables?.....................Jordans baby What do you call a black man with a stutter?...........Cacoon!! always one ,and your first one well was not funny Quote Link to post Share on other sites
00taz11 39 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 (edited) whats the difference between basil brush and a terrorist the terrorist only goes boom once theres two thing that i hate in the world racists and coons Edited November 15, 2008 by the ferretman 2k8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
poacherjim 0 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 whats the difference between basil brush and a terrorist the terrorist only goes boom once theres two thing that i hate in the world racists and coons :clapper: :clapper: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sniper 30 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 2 irish men have robbed a bank. getting into the room they expect to find 1 big safe. instead they find 20 small safes. they open the first safe and find vanilla pudding. thinking good before they have money they;ve eat. they open all the rest and still vannial puddings in them. the next morning there is reports that 2 irish men have robbed the worlds largest sperm bank Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stealthy1 3,964 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferret boy charlie 0 Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 Whats black and bangs into tables?.....................Jordans baby What do you call a black man with a stutter?...........Cacoon!! there the shittest jokes ive ever heard Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.