alcohol problems

[Kay 3,709]

The hiding of money bits very true , thats what i have to do but they borrow money from others , i have found bottles of all sorts off gut rot , cheap crap empty cans that i know havent been brought by me hidden in the house , laying in bed all day only to surface 20 mins before afternoon shift , then sitting up till 4am on returning home, its an existence not a life

 

That is such a sad post, Kay. Can I ask why you continue to share your life with someone so selfish?

 

The fear of the unknown basically & the fact i have never been hit , i know there poor excuses , i just aint brave enough basically

[shepp 2,285]

Life is all about facing things that scare you, then these things loose there fear factor.

A lesson I have learnt quite recently.

[hollands hope 1,024]

Not being sentimental here but its good to hear people talking with some common sense afther all the bickering on here lately

Edited September 27, 2008 by hollands hope

[mackem 26,444]

Not being sentimental here but its good to here people talking with some common sense afther all the bickering on here lately

I will second that mate,theres a definate feel-good factor in the air today

[Gin 498]

My brother has been an alcoholic for years, and this caused his marriage to fail. He is a real good lad and would do anything to help anyone. He is still a very heavy drinker. I had a night out with him several weeks ago, and he had 3 bottles of wine and a few pints of cider before i even met up with him, then he was drinking several pints of beer. I had two pints all night.In the past he would borrow money ( owes thousands ) and steal, even from me. He now admits he is an alcoholic but says its gone too far to get over it. He has heart trouble from it also. I got him a job where i work, and he is doing very well there and not drinking so much. Yet he still lives by drink. He had to hit rock bottom to understand he needed help and asked me in a round about way for help. He knows i'd not let him down.

Understanding that there is a problem, is the first big step. Then going and talking to the Doctor is the next, and having someone in a position to help. Perhaps going with them to an AA meeting etc.

Its a drug and without the drink in them the craving will change their whole way of thinking till they find some way of getting more drink.

There is no easy answer for anyone in that position, other than to cut down if you can , but do it gently, and talk to someone.

Several friends of mine have died through drink in the past 10 years or so,- one girl in my class from school days, died aged 37, and beautiful lovely girl with a young daughter. The oldest one was only 47.

Drink is a terrible thing when its got a hold.

Sometimes their partners have to say, i can't do anymore here, and have to understand that moving on may be their only way out of it, more so if there are children involved, as it will drag them all down.

[mackem 26,444]

I left home at 16,walked out the door and never looked back,never seen my father since,no reason too,he drank like a fish,navy culture,it destroys families and f*cks up kids lives,I never touched a drop of alcohol,tell a lie I had two or three glasses of champagne once,its a mental crutch,it solves sweet FA

[Kay 3,709]

The hiding of money bits very true , thats what i have to do but they borrow money from others , i have found bottles of all sorts off gut rot , cheap crap empty cans that i know havent been brought by me hidden in the house , laying in bed all day only to surface 20 mins before afternoon shift , then sitting up till 4am on returning home, its an existence not a life

 

That is such a sad post, Kay. Can I ask why you continue to share your life with someone so selfish?

 

The fear of the unknown basically & the fact i have never been hit , i know there poor excuses , i just aint brave enough basically

 

If you have put up with that for a long time, I reckon you must be pretty brave!

 

Make sure you do things you enjoy, try to make good supportive friends outside of your relationship.... never lose sight of who you are, or who you want to be.

 

Then one day, if he still hasn't changed, you'll know the time is right to move on, because you deserve to get more out of a relationship than just not being hit ... and I bet you wont be as scared as you thought you would be!

 

Your right , its just making the move forward thats scarey , i do my own thing , its not bad all the time just some of the time , i gave up yelling & giving ultimatums a long time ago the drinks more important seemingly , its hard trying to explain to someone who hasnt lived with a boozer .

 

I think people who drink to excess have no feelings it numbs them to reality , example 3 weeks ago i totally flipped i basically went mad due to money worries & while in a complete rage i yelled screamed etc frustration i suppose , now i would have thought the most natural thing to do for a person witnessing this fit of rage would be to reasure the person, comfort etc , i got a blank look & he carried on about his business , totally oblivious to the fact i was on the edge of sanity

 

So once more i drag myself up off the bones of my arse & get on with life , i am always happy & i cant be down for long so once i had exploded i felt totally normal again , it proves i can make it on my own & i find being miserable hard work , i have tried to be miserable but i cant do it

[mrs sweepy 0]

Nastki.

you are so right.

their is also nothing to be ashamed off.

And the day you start thinking that its your fault. Thats the day you pack your bags and walk.

 

Its not easily but it would be the start of something more positive.

xxxsuzy

[mackem 26,444]

You dont have to TRY to be miserable,its a state of mind to some people

[Guest foxyjo.]

I lived with somebody for 4 years who was and still is an alcoholic. I loved him alot and would have done anything for him, but in the end it got too much. He is the sweetest, most charming person when sober, and we're still good friends now, but give him a drink and he turns into the devil himself. Two things happened in quick succession that made me leave. He got drunk and pushed Foxcub hard enough in the back to make him fall over and cry, (and he was only a little thing then), which of course I reacted to quite strongly, which was the start of the real trouble. That night he was just ranting and pushing me round, (never actually hit me, but would stop me leaving the room and shout, smash things, get right up close to my face shouting and accusing), and I got so scared I crawled under his landrover to hide. As I'm under the landy, he's pacing up and down the track looking for me and shouting, and I phoned one of the neighbours from my mobile, and begged them to come over for a cup of tea. i didn't come out til they got there. Covered in mud, totally humiliated.

 

Even now, 5 years on, my heart's racing remembering that night. I couldn't live with all that again.

 

That night did it for me. people who are drunk have no real control over what they do or say. In the end, you have to make a choice between life without fear, or a prison of somebody elses making. A drinker can always justify themselves, and all it takes is some resistance or a bit of pressure and the lid comes off.

 

Rabbithunter, you don't want to turn into that, but you are. get some help and kick it.

[polecat 1]

addiction in any form is hard for those around them wheather it be drink drugs food sex anything it dont matter some one said in a post if you can admit to yourself that you suffer from an addiction then there is hope i myself have been clean for 14 years and its a hard battle everyday not to go back on my addiction any type of set back can kick it off again so its never easy go and get help there are plenty folks out there that can help you through it good luck and keep on the road to recovery

polecat ohh and my addiction was class a drugs

[lurchergrrl 1,441]

RH, you don't want to end up lonely and old, one of those sad blokes stood at the pub day after day, staring into their pint with that vacant look. It's such waste of life My ex is a drunk, and used to say he'd never hit a woman. As time went by he got more depressed and more angry, and drunk more often. He progressed from mental torment to physical violence to armed threats of murder. You don't want to go down that pathetic path.

 

If you can admit that you've got a problem to a forum populated by thousands of strangers, you can get your yellow pages out NOW and find a number, make that call. Stop the rot pal.

 

Good luck.

[darza 8]

now youve admited it youve got to keep telling yourself youve got a problem or your head will keep telling you lies and that your ok,go and seek help doctors and aa or na,i had/have a big problem tryd to get clean and just cudnt get it i didnt want to be doing it but couldnt stop,hurt alot of people especialy loved ones.anyway after a big struggle i finally got it and i picked my 30 days clean keyring up last nite,so anythings possible.im bang into the dogs again now im never in so thats helping lol.

[Guest bigredbusa]

i used to drink as a kid but stopped at 17 , i may have the odd one at xmas or if the mood takes me but i can live without .

 

if you are hitting things when pissed i would start thinking ..... you are posting this on a hunting site so i presume you hunt so it's quite easy .... instead of getting pissed get out and hunt . easy

[hollands hope 1,024]

Some good and honest responces here been off the booze for 12 years myself probebly the best decision that i made just to add, having kids made the decision easier

Edited September 27, 2008 by hollands hope