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I just bought that Austrian girls diary off ebay... Its boring as feck !

Monday.. stayed in

Tuesday .. Stayed in

Wednesday .. Stayed in

Thursday .. Stayed in

Friday ..Stayed in

Saturday ..Stayed in

Sunday got f****d by dad and stayed in

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Two wee ladies sitting in the church coffee morning .One turns to the other and say's " Did you come on the bus Betty ?". " Aye babs but i made it look like a asthma attack "

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Two wee ladies sitting in the church coffee morning .One turns to the other and say's " Did you come on the bus Betty ?". " Aye babs but i made it look like a asthma attack "

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Priest was seated next to paddy on a flight .Paddy ordered a Rum and coke .The flight attendant asked the priest if he would like a drink .He replied in disgust " I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips ". .Paddy hands his drink back and say's " Me too,i didn't know we had a choice !

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Tae A Fart

Oh wit a sleekit horrible beastie ,lurks in yer belly efter a feastie ,nae maiter wit you dae abody's gona hiv to pay even if you try to stifle its like a bullet out a rifle . hold your bum tight to the chair and try to stop the leaking air, Shimmy yourself from cheek to cheek and pray to god it disnae reek ,out it comes like a clap of thunder . ricohets around the room, mighty me a sonic boom. God all mighty it fairly reeks, hope i havent shit my breeks .

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an old couple are sitting in church, Bert she says, I've just done a very smelly silent fart, what should i do?

Get a better hearing aid he says.

 

Same old couple are celebrating 50 years of marriage at a resteraunt, bert she says after all these years when i look at you, i still have a warm feeling in my chest.

 

of course you do, your tits in your soup.

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paddy finds a sandwich we two wires sticking out,so rings the bomb squad,ive found a bomb we two wires sticking out a woman relies is it ticking no says paddy i think its beef.

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