flinty 19 Posted July 17, 2008 Report Share Posted July 17, 2008 two sperms swimming side by side. one says to the other im knackered how far we got to go before we reach the ovaries? fxxxin miles mate, weve just passed the tonsils Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mark.B 0 Posted July 17, 2008 Report Share Posted July 17, 2008 Love it keep the jokes comming nearly makes you forget about price of gas Quote Link to post Share on other sites
just jack 998 Posted July 17, 2008 Report Share Posted July 17, 2008 little jonny goes to skool, and the teacher says "today we are going to learn MULTI-SYLLABLE WORDS? " WOW, jonny says, "MAS-TUR-BATE", Miss rogers smiles and says, "WOW JONNY THATS A MOUTHFUL", jonny replies, "NO MISS ROGERS, YOU'RE THINKING OF A BLOWJOB Quote Link to post Share on other sites
beaver76 1 Posted July 17, 2008 Report Share Posted July 17, 2008 god appears to a man and says ''you'll have to quit the fags 'drink and shagging if you want to go to heaven'.one week later god reappears and asks him hows it going?he says the fags and drink were easy but when my wife bent over to take meat out of the freezer,i had to give her one there and then.god says'they dont like that sort of thing in heaven'man replys they don't like it in f*****g Asda either!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattydski 560 Posted July 17, 2008 Report Share Posted July 17, 2008 god appears to a man and says ''you'll have to quit the fags 'drink and shagging if you want to go to heaven'.one week later god reappears and asks him hows it going?he says the fags and drink were easy but when my wife bent over to take meat out of the freezer,i had to give her one there and then.god says'they dont like that sort of thing in heaven'man replys they don't like it in f*****g Asda either!!! Yeah Baby Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flinty 19 Posted July 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2008 (edited) Racist Joke Removed Edited July 18, 2008 by ChrisJones Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,489 Posted July 18, 2008 Report Share Posted July 18, 2008 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
beaver76 1 Posted July 18, 2008 Report Share Posted July 18, 2008 A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver.She says i'm going to die soon but i want to have sex before i do but but i must remain a virgin so it must be anal and i cant commit adultery so the man must be single,can you fulfil my wish?yes says the driver and fulfils her wish.Then feeling guilty says i'm sorry i lied,i'm married with 3kids''thats ok said the nun i lied too.My name is kevin and i'm going to a fancy dress party''' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rogue 9 Posted July 18, 2008 Report Share Posted July 18, 2008 Ive just been down my garden and saw my dog shaggin a cabbage! Silly fecker must of thought i was a collie!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,489 Posted July 18, 2008 Report Share Posted July 18, 2008 A man sunbathing in the nude and ends up burning his penis.His doctor tells him to ease the painby dipping it in a saucer of cold milk .Later his wife comes home and finds him with his dick in a saucer of cold milk.Good heavens, she remarks.I always wondered how you reloaded those things Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,489 Posted July 18, 2008 Report Share Posted July 18, 2008 A recent scientific survey was conducted to see why the Head of a willy is bigger than the rest of it.Some people believed it was to give the man more pleasure during sex .Some people believed it was to give the woman more pleasure during sex .But after a year of painstaking research the TRUTH can now be revealed...... Its to Stop a mans hand from flying off and HITTING HIM IN THE FACE Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,489 Posted July 18, 2008 Report Share Posted July 18, 2008 Found a parrot yesterday,it keeps saying " f**k off you ugly b*****d " .... Not yours is it ????? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,489 Posted July 18, 2008 Report Share Posted July 18, 2008 Little Billy ask's his dad for a telly in his room .He reluctantly agrees.Next day Billy comes down the stairs and ask's ."Dad wots love juice "? .Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex .Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.Dad says "So what where you watching ? .Billy replies "Wimbledon Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,489 Posted July 18, 2008 Report Share Posted July 18, 2008 Paddy is in a major car crash.He comes round 3 days later. Doc says,Ive good news And bad news .Bad news is youve had 2 pints of African blood and a pint of polish blood .Paddy screams,What the f**k's the good news ?.The doc says, your cocks 6 inches longer and your top of the housing list Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,489 Posted July 18, 2008 Report Share Posted July 18, 2008 Woman buys a wall mirror from B&Q .The manager says " Do you want a screw for that ?" "No she said but I'd suck your cock for a lawnmower!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.