Guddling-trout..................

[mackem 28,357]

Went fishing last night(makes a change)so we are en-route to the venue and JOE told me he had forgotten the nymphs and flies But he did promise to bring them "next-time"Oh,thats ok then Luckily I am pretty resourceful(My wife said I can make something out of nothing)and I was fortunate to have received a copy of "Ways of the old poacher part 27"last week to review for old Pat himself.Excellent DVD(pension fund topper-upper)buy it when its released in 2012 to coincide with the opening of the Olympics(smart marketing ploy Pat),featuring the new "Care-snare" as invented by old Carey-snarey himself,its a humane snare in a range of sizes designed more to catch the tree-hugging lentil-knitting brigade or the gullible amongst us rather than the actual animal its designed for,yes,you got it,a 2012 version of the bullseye-snare

But pat had actually excelled himself in this latest production(money-spinner)and expanded on the trout-tickling theme.Nothing ventured,nothing gained,I had promised someone some fish,and I have never NOT delivered so maybe I could salvage something out of the night?Got to the lake and B***cks!!It was covered in masses upon masses of floating weed I decided to check the depth as I needed to actually get into the lake to tickle the fish,so I hopped into the water.........and there was NO BOTTOM I kid you not,my waders filled and I was going down to meet Mr Jones in his locker Luckily JOE was on the ball and hauled me out pretty damned quick'ish,I was f***ing drenched,saturated But its good to see one of us still retained a sense of humour as I could hear JOE chuckling and giggling behind me as I tried to wring my clothes out and up-ended my waders His jokes cheered me up about Photographing my floating corpse,and how it was as hot as the Bahamas in his thick jacket

I squelched further down the lake and found a cleared swim "Dont forget your wading stick"Said JOE"You need it to test depth" The water here wasnt deep 2-3 foot maximum,and I was soon gently stroking the belly of the first fish,lulling it into a false sense of security,a quick flip and it was flapping on the bank,another followed,and another,till I had soon filled the quota and bag limit for the water

One interesting thing,we saw a large badger and a fox at the same time,the fox was emerging from a back-garden,the badger was still foraging around on the floodlit lawn,that took my mind away from my cold,numbed legs which didnt seem to want to climb a fence but soon warmed and scrabbled me over when a passing police car came up the road

Back home,3.30am this morning I hair-dried the wifes camera,its sort of working I had a cup of tea,tried to relax,and watched the end of "Ways of the old poacher part 27"listening to pats closing words................"Theres one born every minute"He was talking about trout wasnt he

 

PS,joe will stick a few pics up later,something seems to be wrong with my camera

[maty j 6]

Sounds like another successful fishing trip M thanks to your resourcefulness, even if you did have a few difficulties Brownies? Keep the camera on the radiator and take the case off if you can to let it dry. I dropped my mobile down the council gritter. well it actually slipped out my pocket but the hairdryer and radiator made sure It's still working today.

 

Look forward to them pics Joe

[mackem 28,357]

It was actually funny as f**k Maty,we got the fish we needed and had a good night out,better than sitting at home with face-ache as we just glare at each other nowadays,besides,its her camera,its at home drying in the airing cupboard I hope

Richard-of-york-gave-battle-in-vain,Rainbows mate But all JOE chatted about last night was his trip up to Sunderland to try for those Wear salmon

Good job I wasnt using my new kit last night A combined weight of over 20kg would have pulled me right down,I dont think I will ever use that on solo-forays I actually sat and thought about the implications of that earlier,quite scary

[chess 0]

Once threw a lobster pot from a dingy and ended up nearly going with it as the rope caught me leg

[mackem 28,357]

Chess,you crazy crustacean hunter,you werent sailing out of nantucket,boat called the pequod were you?I always wondered where you got that limp from We are using our boat this weekend matey,nothing like a bit of night time nauticals But I enjoyed last night,it was fun And hey,Chess............Be careful out there

[maty j 6]

Very lucky indeed M! Is the new unit able to work after it's took a dunk??

 

If I had some salmon to go at I wouldn't stop talking about them either. I'm not too fond of trout, but salmon

Have you had that video camera yet Joe??

[chess 0]

Chess,you crazy crustacean hunter,you werent sailing out of nantucket,boat called the pequod were you?I always wondered where you got that limp from We are using our boat this weekend matey,nothing like a bit of night time nauticals But I enjoyed last night,it was fun And hey,Chess............Be careful out there

 

Funnily enough it wasnt, it was out from Lamlash Bay in a boat called "Halfords economy childrens special not to be used in the sea"

[mackem 28,357]

Chess,you crazy crustacean hunter,you werent sailing out of nantucket,boat called the pequod were you?I always wondered where you got that limp from We are using our boat this weekend matey,nothing like a bit of night time nauticals But I enjoyed last night,it was fun And hey,Chess............Be careful out there

 

Funnily enough it wasnt, it was out from Lamlash Bay in a boat called "Halfords economy childrens special not to be used in the sea"

Arran Chess,you do get around you old sea-dog,dont know what made me think you were partaking in a re-enactment of Ahabs quest for the great white-claw himself.............Moby-Snip

[mackem 28,357]

JOE is unable to answer questions at the moment MATY as he is probably doing things up a tree,I do hope he doesnt fall and hurt himself,I am not the vengeful,spitefull type and wouldnt burst into hysterical laughter at the news that he had stepped onto a rotten-branch without testing it first,sans safety harness,and fallen bone-crunchingly to the ground However,if he lands on his head he will be fine

[chess 0]

Chess,you crazy crustacean hunter,you werent sailing out of nantucket,boat called the pequod were you?I always wondered where you got that limp from We are using our boat this weekend matey,nothing like a bit of night time nauticals But I enjoyed last night,it was fun And hey,Chess............Be careful out there

 

Funnily enough it wasnt, it was out from Lamlash Bay in a boat called "Halfords economy childrens special not to be used in the sea"

Arran Chess,you do get around you old sea-dog,dont know what made me think you were partaking in a re-enactment of Ahabs quest for the great white-claw himself.............Moby-Snip

 

Yes indeed, a litttle trip is planned for the not too distant future. There is a lovely little bridge i know where, if you are careful you can flick your sandwich crumbs into the water below and watch these big silver fish gobble them up. I am also given to understand the odd Portugese poacher has left the odd net or two there, we will have to see

[mackem 28,357]

Sounds good Chess,I would wish you luck but I am sure you dont need it,wouldnt mind a trip up there myself That net was probably left there by that great portuguese seafarer himself,old ferdinand magellan stopping off en-route to the spice islands(he took a wrong-turn),never had much truck with netsmen myself mate,always preferred the fly

[mackem 28,357]

Joe,yer a cruel sort of bloke(cough,cough)laughing at an old guys misfortunes I could swear a second prior to going below the surface I felt the flat of your hand between my shoulder blades,I probably have pleurisy or one of those antique diseases my gran used to warn me about if I got a damp chest(cough,cough)Luckily I managed to summon up reserves of strength to jump back over when the coppers came up the road,otherwise they might have wondered what that wierdo was doing hanging 10 foot in the air

Its not just ANY £3.00 mask,its a digital replica of the Nacho Libre mask Yeah,the guy who owned it before me went on,and on,and ON about how DIGITAL it was,thats why he bought it,some people huh?Want me to burn you a copy if "Ways of the old poacher #27" JOE?

[mackem 28,357]

How manys "Loads"?Time to get the batteries charged and launch the boat,my sis phoned me earlier,she wants a couple for her BBQ at the weekend Yeah,digital mask,F***ing great

[mackem 28,357]

Thats cool,her BBQ is sunday,oh yeah,one more thing JOE.......DONT FORGET THE NYMPHS AND FLIES

[mackem 28,357]

The water wasnt cold as I went under,it was only cold when you pulled me out,thats why I squeezed the water out and ran up and down for a while.Change of clothing?If I take a spare set of clothes the wife will think I am meeting a fancy-woman Thursday it is then