Somewhere over a rainbow..........

[mackem 26,245]

Flicked through an angling mag yesterday lunchtime,I always like looking at the ads and reading the fishery reports dont you?One trout fishery caught my eye F***ING HELL!Is that their stocking density?I hadnt tied any flies this week but there were a few cans of sweetcorn in the fridge,and it seems to be a readily-acceptable and legitimate bait for some of you guys so its not going to hurt is it?Got on the phone(old habits die hard,but I wish I could get out of the habit of pressing 141 before I dial the number),Icould hear it ringing then it was picked up at the other end,Nice home-counties cultured accent "Good afternoon ******* fisheries,how can I help you?"

I told him I was interested in a fishing session and could he supply me with a few details,he gave me the spiel,casting lessons....Blah,blah,blah....Rainbow,browns,even tiger-trout...best times to fish the lake,what the fish are taking at the moment"Sorry to interrupt you mate,but do you allow maggots and sweetcorn?"a moments silence"No we dont actually,thats more for course fishing I am afraid"I knew that already.but I decided to press on"So no sweetcorn or maggots,can we night-fish the lake?"This is where it started to go off the rails slightly,his tone changed,he became brusque without being overly rude,but something told me I wasnt going to make his best-chums club.I guess my persistance and winning telephone manner wore him down because when I told him of our intention to fish with starlights and maggots at night he virtually barked down the line "Yes,yes,whatever,whatever"and the line went dead

Whatever,whatever!Thats virtually permission right?Well he didnt say NO did he?We only fished for 20 minutes,its not like we were taking the p**s,but I knew it was going to be a good session when we had 19 on the bank in the first 7 minutes I even left the guy a quid tip on the steps of the club house,lucky money I always call it Oh well,that was my foray into the dark side,back to dry-fly next week

[steve66 3,374]

At least you asked permission mate , some wrong uns would have just poached

[mackem 26,245]

I always say theres a fine demarcation line between being a little cheeky and taking a downright liberty mate,luckily I never step over the line A quids better than nowt right?I must have left hundreds of pound coins at fisheries in the last few years,generous to a fault but hey,thats just my nature

[ferretville 69]

Sometimes you just got to do the honerable thing makem a quid is fair play

[mackem 26,245]

A quids all I can afford mate,times are hard,its grim up north(Oh,just remembered,I live down south )Look at the top pics,I am dressed in Rags mate,tatty jeans and an old threadbare T-shirt,JOE is the one realtree'd to f**k,he is the only guy I know gets a christmas card off Bill Jordan every year and an invite to club-realtree parties

Anyway,thanks to the management of ******* fisheries the kids can eat for yet another week,and I might just pop in and pay the place another visit in the forseeable future,because I did get verbal permission right?

[mackem 26,245]

Mack-the-knife.....God bless him,I bethe was chuffed to bits he didnt have to use a knife last night,he has lost more pinkies than the combined Roppongi yakuza He is a danger to himself you know!

Last night was funny,and remember New Labours theme tune.....Things can only get better (Hopefully better for us than its doing for Messrs(messers) Brown and Co at the moment

[Guest bigredbusa]

lol your a star best post i have read in ages

[Guest bigredbusa]

matter of intrest , how deep you fishing

[mackem 26,245]

It wasnt mean to be funny mate,deadly serious,I actually DID phone The guy start getting a bit ratty towards the end though,but once he said YES there was no turning back The odd thing about last night was loads of the fish were jumping clean out of the water like salmon,and as SOON as we cast out we had them,depth?Two-three feet?We only fished for 20 minutes,couldnt carry anymore but it was a pound well spent mate

[kirstysdad 827]

£1 for 20 minutes fishing you were lucky you didnt have to stay longer at that rate its £3 an hour could of worked out expensive

[mackem 26,245]

My wife never lets me out with more than a quid jangling in my pockets KD,as you well know,the streets of London arent paved with gold for all of us are they mate But the wifes promised to pay for a full hours fishing for my birthday besides,we nornally stop fishing the first week in october,then we turn our attention to our extensive stalking permission,we have ground heaving with fallow,roe,and munties,and are currently in negotiation with a landowner who has reds

[Guest bigredbusa]

now i dont think the phone call to the gamekeeper / landowner will end up saying 'ok whatever' lol maybe leaving them a nice rack would be the way forward

[mackem 26,245]

Theres no POSSIBLE way we could get this particular landowners personal number

[roebuck220 80]

nice one

[mackem 26,245]

Ok,so heres the score,I have had a few detractors lately,namely LG who at one time I figured to be an online troll,but now I am wondering whether "he" is actually a "she" named Charlene,an ex-girlfriend with a penchant for bukkake,but as I am a tea-spoon a day man,I was never able to fully satisfy her in the way she wanted and she drifted away to end up managing an knitwear shop in preston

All criticism levelled at me have concerned "Unsporting" fishing methods,so its time for the fightback to commence,I am actually considering leading a camapign against that scourge of the trouting world,that pariah of the commercial game-fishery,that ner'do'well of the angling community,the dreaded........FLY-FISHERMAN!!

I cleaned a few fish yesterday,two of them had flies/nymphs firmly hooked in the scissors of their jaws,one was trailing several yards of gut.In the last two years I must have collected 60-70 such nymphs/flies/gaudy artificial creations all from the jaws of fish,but do I snipe at fly-fishermen?No,instead I say Que sera sera,we all have our own preferences,methods,intricate ways of doing things,vive le difference But if your going to go into the woods looking for bear,make sure your loaded for elephant,whats wrong with 50LB BS braid FFS?