how do you want to go?

[comanche 2,917]

My daughter's grown-up offspring will turn to their Mum and ask,"Tell us about Grandad again .What did really happen to him?". "Well", she'll begin ,"No one really knows but they found one of his boots in Alaska ..with tooth marks from a grizzly bear.Mind you the old sod had to go sometime .He was in his nineties!"

[Guest SJM]

I would like to die in the throes of passion cant think of a better way to go out with a bang

Edited June 19, 2008 by SJM

[huntergatherer 0]

I have thought about this long and hard.........

 

WIth a fly rod in hand and my biggest trout ever on the end of my line. A hardys rod at that

 

Watch old folk fly fish, so beatifully done and, i remembered watching an old guy cast not so long ago, he was sat on his folding chair looking totally at peace.

 

Could it be any more peaceful

[mattydski 560]

Some St Peter jokes whilst were in the mood

 

Bush At The Pearly Gates

 

Albert Einstein dies and goes to heaven.

 

At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but

you have no idea the lengths some people will go to sneak into Heaven.

Can you prove you're Albert Einstein?"

 

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and then asks,

"Can I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

 

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly

appear. Einstein proceeds to describe, in arcane mathematics and

symbols, his theory of relativity.

 

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says.

"Welcome to heaven!"

 

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for

credentials.

 

Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"

 

Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."

 

Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural

with just a few strokes of chalk.

 

Saint Peter claps. "You are definitely the great artist you claim to

be!" he says. "Come on in!"

 

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush.

 

Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both

managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"

 

Dubya looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

 

 

More?

 

Is The Wife In Control?

 

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.

God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines.

One line for the men that dominated their women on earth

and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women.

Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."

 

Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone

and there are two lines.

The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long,

on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man.

 

God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves.

I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates.

Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud.

Learn from him!"

Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line?

The man said, "I don't know.

My wife told me to stand here."

 

 

 

Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."

 

Sue, Kay, you wil love this one!!

 

Matt

[comanche 2,917]

Chap dies and at the gates he asks what the chances are of catching-up with his old mate John Smith who passed- over just three days earlier."Some hope!" declares St Peter,"Do you know how many Smiths kick the bucket every day?". Peter mellows when he sees how sad and lonely the old guy looked."Ok ,we may be able to trace him.What were his last words?". "That's easy", says the dead guy,"I was comforting his wife as John lay dying and old John fixed me with an evil stare and said that if I so much as touch his misses he'd turn in his grave." "Bloody Hell!".cried Peter,"That explains it.You mean Spinner Smith!".

[Tracy36 0]

sold my soul to the devil so ain't gonna die..........

[Symon 0]

I would like to go in a high speed car crash idealy in a DB9 were only i got killed no one else involved. Or being suffercated during a swedish lesbian mass orgy.

sounds good but the car would have to be on fire goin off a cliff

 

I would rather BURN OUT than FADE AWAY!!

[killemall 1]

I would like to go in a high speed car crash idealy in a DB9 were only i got killed no one else involved. Or being suffercated during a swedish lesbian mass orgy.

sounds good but the car would have to be on fire goin off a cliff

 

I would rather BURN OUT than FADE AWAY!!

 

 

That was in a film

 

 

Etither in bed with my ol doll having a lash or asleep and just wont wake up or diging an 8fter breaking through terrier out then droping dead into what iv dug....................

 

Terrier man

[The one 8,457]

But who knows if your really died nobodies came back and said so

[Guest manda]

Im guna shoot mysel at about 60yrs old lol I my job is looking after the old and disabled and 2 women i go to are early 40s and have been suffering for 10yrs+ with there diseases and there's nothing there with them. not being nasty but if it was a dog you'd put it to sleep, the poor buggers!

[greatwhitehunter 47]

i want to be buried at sea

Welsh flag, Male voice Choir, Quick sing-song, Plop! In with the jellyfish, Good night f**king Irene!

 

haha and "if they cant do that they keep you in a freezer like a f*cking chock ice!"

 

i think i would like to die when im old in a field with my lurcher (which i havent got yet) after having quite a big session on the bitter and knowing most things on how to be a sucessful poacher! after that i want to cremated while Hotel california is being played and cardiff born by a guy called frank hennessy and i want to be scattered in the fields that i shot my first rabbit in west wales yerrrrr i cant wait!!!

Edited June 20, 2008 by greatwhitehunter

[Caravan Monster 323]

Im guna shoot mysel at about 60yrs old lol I my job is looking after the old and disabled and 2 women i go to are early 40s and have been suffering for 10yrs+ with there diseases and there's nothing there with them. not being nasty but if it was a dog you'd put it to sleep, the poor buggers!

 

Ageing population, over population, little or no pension provision for my generation. Quietly offing yourself when too old and knackered to work or do anything useful might become a very real option in years to come.

 

On a slightly lighter note, a local businessman died whilst "on the job" with his girlfriend. Would have loved to see the copper squirm when trying to tactfully inform the businessman' s wife of his death.

[Guest lurcherboy2008]

i want to be buried at sea

Welsh flag, Male voice Choir, Quick sing-song, Plop! In with the jellyfish, Good night f**king Irene!

 

haha and "if they cant do that they keep you in a freezer like a f*cking chock ice!"

 

i think i would like to die when im old in a field with my lurcher (which i havent got yet) after having quite a big session on the bitter and knowing most things on how to be a sucessful poacher! after that i want to cremated while Hotel california is being played and cardiff born by a guy called frank hennessy and i want to be scattered in the fields that i shot my first rabbit in west wales yerrrrr i cant wait!!!

 

 

pass me that 2 n half, hey thats dodgey as feck that fatty, i know it is come and hold it then watta feckin film ai, p.s is BRYN IN

[THE STIFFMEISTER 15,635]

Many years from now..happy and contented that everything on the "to do " list was complete..but before a life of teadances and incontinence..Perhaps a little late for Fellman and Stabs

Edited June 21, 2008 by THE STIFFMEISTER

[Rutland Rabbit 0]

The thought of dying truly terrifies me, but it's not so frightening if you're accomplishing your dreams. I'm a strong believer in the here and now. Don't save for a rainy day, don't plan your dream holiday for when you're retired. Do it now! If only the husband had the same view.