Mr Patel and the Tandoori nymph.

[mackem 26,935]

Joe came around last night F**K,my wife doesnt like me knocking around with him,says he is trouble and will lead me off the straight-and-narrow But it was only to drop something off so no problems.Nowt in the fridge to eat,or leastways nothing I fancied,its filled with macrobiotic yoghurts and organic celery so we decided to go for a take-away,Kashmiri Nights is just around the corner,and their Alu Ghobi "afterburners" are shit hot food So we are chatting away to Mr Patel waiting for our order,and he is blabbing about the old country and how he misses home(bradford) when talk turns to fishing,he was yabbering on telling us how his great-great...X10....grandfather was the inspiration for Issac Waltons "Compleat Angler" after opening the UK's first curry-house in 1652 in Stafford.

Old Issac liked nothing better than a decent Vindaloo after a night out on the mead with the lads,and struck up a friendship with Mr Patels grandfather,who liked Issac so much he bestowed upon him the Patel family secret..............The Tandoori Nymph A fishing bait so deadly that it catapulted old issac into Angling Legend,and turned what was just another yokel worm-drowner into the author of probably the most widely read angling book ever printed

I thought Mr Patel was pulling my chain,genuine piss-take,but something about the low,hushed gravity in his voice piqued my interest,and as we left the shop alongside the takeaway I also had a small bag of Tandoori powder nestled in my jacket pocket,and Mr Patels words ringing in my ears "Dust your nymph between casts........dust your nymph between casts.........dust your ny......."

There are trout rods permanently in the back of Joes van :icon_eek:It wouldnt take long right?And we HAD to try Mr Patels magic-powder(Yeah,I am fully aware this will lead to narcotic jokes from some of you )Soon we found ourselves standing at the edge of a trout-lake,food and takeaways forgotten as we tied on our nymphs................I dont believe in aliens,or the legend of the lost dutchman mines,or that lucky lord lucan is living it up in South Africa somewhere...........But I do believe in the tandoori nymph We fished last night for EXACTLY 20 minutes,we timed it,and we got a good bag of fish,best of all I still have half a bag of Mr Patels powder left so another fishing trip is scheduled,but as we walked off the water I felt a presence walking with us,and saw an old man with a split cane rod and old wicker creel smile and wink as he dusted his nymph

Edited June 11, 2008 by mackem

[chess 0]

M. You really do have too much time on your hands Never heard anything so ridiculous in all my born days, im afraid this is one post too many my friend. No way would Mr Patel impart his most sacred secret on a couple of lager swilling vindaloo muching camo clothed pair of miscreants as you two

[mackem 26,935]

Lager swilling chess?ME?Teetotal mate,saw a guy get stabbed once in a bar,never touched a drop of alcohol since and that was way back in history As for Mr P Passing on the secret of the tandoori nymph,well,just as his ancestors imparted the knowledge to old Issac I guess he sees a kindred spirit in myself,either that or my son delivers his news papers and I know he gets a brown package containing "Sluts in Slovenia" every month Wouldnt want Mrs P to find that out would he a small price to pay say I

Edited June 11, 2008 by mackem

[mackem 26,935]

I will tell you what DID spice last night up chess,apart from the curry We were just stepping out of some bushes onto the road when we saw car headlights coming around the bend 60-70 yards away,I didnt think anything of it,but at that split-second I realised I had dropped my house-keys back in the shrubs so I jumped back in and crouched down looking for them and JOE followed because he also dropped his keys,yeah,coincidental but true Who should come tearing around the corner?Plod himself I wanted to jump out and flag him down,because six years ago I saw a local ten year old dropping toffee papers,well,he is classed as an adult now so plod would have probably went straight round and kicked his door in there and then,you know how efficient they are,but alas,by the time I had gathered my wits he had sped off,probably had a nice hot brew waiting for him back at the nick

And once again we found a discarded sweetcorn can,thats two seperate waters in two weeks,theres a pattern developing mate,I think someone is feeding the fish for some reason

Edited June 11, 2008 by mackem

[mackem 26,935]

I forgot to share the good news with you Chess,I just got my prospectus through from Sparsholt,Fishery management

[Guest rexdigger]

love reading your tales shame a few people take them the wrong way lol :notworthy:

the wears callin too

[mackem 26,935]

I am always deadly serious when chatting about fishing Rex,no embellishment whatsoever,thats the truth about old bill whizzing past I wondered why he didnt stop and chew the fat,but as joe said,two guys popping out of the bushes,masked up and shouldering big black bags couldnt possibly arouse suspicion Dont worry about the Wear,september is my month,I always found it the best,besides,theres one or two southern rivers I need to check out first,dont forget to let us know how you get on when you go skating on the rink

[mackem 26,935]

You lying g*t When you threw yourself face down in the bushes beside me you said you were looking for keys as well

I think we should have fished for an hour instead of 20 minutes,funny thing is I have just been to Tescos,apparently theres been a rush on and they sold out of Tandoori powder

[chess 0]

mmmm there seems to be a pattern developing here, late night jaunts, fishing flies and tecniques not heard of or seen before ? an oversion to our boys in blue and large carrier bags of still flapping trout Now either you two are a reincarnation of a long lost and forgotton fishing tribe from the Moluccas Islands or somethin just aint right

However beware the boys in blue would far rather catch a couple of fish relocators any day of the week rather than a proper collar and all that would entail. I spent the last two nights at my local nick discussing the same and as they say, that is the truth

[steve66 3,491]

Well ive read this piece afew time now , been on google and done alot off research but can i hell find the subscription for sluts in Slovenia

Secrete tandori powder tones of the stuff but no sluts in Slovenia

Mr patel really dose have some secretes

[mackem 26,935]

Yeah,sorry steve,I just checked last weeks issue,I will give it to the bairn to deliver in the morning,its actually "Whores in Havana"

[mackem 26,935]

mmmm there seems to be a pattern developing here, late night jaunts, fishing flies and tecniques not heard of or seen before ? an oversion to our boys in blue and large carrier bags of still flapping trout Now either you two are a reincarnation of a long lost and forgotton fishing tribe from the Moluccas Islands or somethin just aint right

However beware the boys in blue would far rather catch a couple of fish relocators any day of the week rather than a proper collar and all that would entail. I spent the last two nights at my local nick discussing the same and as they say, that is the truth

My 15 year old nephew was arrested last week Chess,for attacking three grown men,he spent the night in hospital after being hit with a metal-bar,then was arrested after his release,I know all about our boys in Blue,those fine upstanding public"Servants" MAluku?Funny you should say that,heres pics,the stilt village is home to the badjao sea-gypsies,I once spent three months living with them in a village out as sea,I learnt a lot

Unheard of fishing techniques?Its best I never mention some of them Chess,lets just say it pays to be flexible and vary your methods to suit the waters

[chess 0]

473 bail or refuse charge for young master Mackem ? Moluccas Islands between Borneo and New Guinea mate but hey whats 1000 miles between friends

[mackem 26,935]

One thing I aint ever needed is a geography lesson chess He is out on police bail,sis is well pissed off,how can a 15 year old attack three adults?And what are the adults doing carrying a metal bar And this is in a NICE part of surrey,he goes to school in Wetbridge FFS

[chess 0]

One thing I aint ever needed is a geography lesson chess He is out on police bail,sis is well pissed off,how can a 15 year old attack three adults?And what are the adults doing carrying a metal bar And this is in a NICE part of surrey,he goes to school in Wetbridge FFS

 

Only fishing mate, only fishing Has he got a lawyer, if not get one its free. If no previous cautions or reprimands the worst that will happen is he will be given one.