jokes

[brigg 54]

two englishmen open a shop in argyle street glassgow. they are siting in the empty shop waiting on stock being deliverd. first englishman says to his mate. i bet you we have some nosy scottish b*****d asking what we are selling. sure enough within five minutes door opens and a wee glaswegian says wit yous selling in her big yin? englishman says. we are selling arseholes without missing a beat glaswegian comes back you'r dain well only two left.

[redrobin 6]

three couples on holiday in spain sitting around the breakfast table: American couple; English couple & a couple from Glasgow- American man says to his wife "pass the honey...honey" The Englishman, hearing this & keeping it going says to his wife " pass the sugar ... sugar" The man from Glasgow not wanting to be outdone says to his wife..............."Geeze the milk ya cow"

[lamp+battery 98]

keep them cummin

[Guest timeout]

What did Abraham Lincoln say in the morning after a night on the piss?

 

"I FREED WHO"?!!!

[foxcub 0]

DELEATED AS FULL OF TEXT TALK

Edited April 29, 2008 by stubby
TEXT TALK

[foxcub 0]

three couples on holiday in spain sitting around the breakfast table: American couple; English couple & a couple from Glasgow- American man says to his wife "pass the honey...honey" The Englishman, hearing this & keeping it going says to his wife " pass the sugar ... sugar" The man from Glasgow not wanting to be outdone says to his wife..............."Geeze the milk ya cow"

 

 

GOD thats good

[sarno 0]

uproar at chelsea after all of frank lampard,s team mates are to attend his mothers funeral. except drogba..... frank said he is not invited....just in case he dives in the box...

[tote 854]

Last wednesday night after the champions league game at Anfield merseyside police stopped John Arne Riise on the M62.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It turns out he was heading in the wrong direction.

[tallyboy 32]

a blind rabbit and a blind skunk are walking through the woods one day when they bump into each other

the rabbit says to the skunk "what kind of animal are you"

the skunk replies "i don't know i'm blind, what kind of animail are you"

to which the rabbit replies " i don't know either i'm blind aswell"

so the rabbit says "i'll tell you what we'll do, we'll feel each other and and describe what we are to each other"

great idea says thee skunk i'll go first,

"you've got big teeth a little fluffy tail and big ears, you must be a rabbit"

must be said the rabbit, now my turn

" you've got long greasy hair, and you absolutly stink, you must be an .......... anti

[lamp+battery 98]

to teddie bears in a airing cubbard witch 1 is in the army

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the 1 on the tank

[sarno 0]

what have women and clouds got in common.? once they f :censored:off it,s normally a nice day :notworthy:

[lamp+battery 98]

if god made the front ov a women who made the back ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the council coz they always put a playin area beside a sxxt hole

[The one 8,480]

The McCanns have sent a message to Sharon Mathews mother it read

 

f*****g AMATUERS

[lamp+battery 98]

eton john went to tattooist and said i want a rools royce tattooed on my penis

he saidyou'd be better off with a land rover it wont get stuck in the shit

 

 

 

very good lol lol

[brigg 54]

father catches his doughter f*****g herself with a dildo. she said it's because you whant let me have a boyfrend so the next night the doughter catches her father drinking beer with the dildo up his arse she asked what the f**k are you doing.. father said having a beer with you'r boyfrend.