speedlamper 0 Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 and he's on the net ask him anything you like .... talk to god click the link, press enter and choose your skin type a question in the box and the lord will reply (type "get f****d" ) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 'The F*ck do they do that??? Here's what God and I were on about: " Me: I'm still up and drinking. God: I am glad to hear that you are up and drinking. Me: Is that it? You're Glad? God: That depends. Thanks for telling me that I am Glad. Me: What's it depend on? God: "It" refers to up and drinking, I think. Me: What?! The f*ck are you on about, God? God: No problem. Who told you that? Me: Told me what? How much have You put away tonight? God: The answer to your question. How much do you think? Me: F*ckin plenties! God: Don't you know any other words? Me: Yeppers. Dogs. What ye reckon on Dogs, God? God: I don't judge people. Yeah I like Dogs and Cats. Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one. " The F*ck was That all about?! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
speedlamper 0 Posted March 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 'The F*ck do they do that??? Here's what God and I were on about: " Me: I'm still up and drinking. God: I am glad to hear that you are up and drinking. Me: Is that it? You're Glad? God: That depends. Thanks for telling me that I am Glad. Me: What's it depend on? God: "It" refers to up and drinking, I think. Me: What?! The f*ck are you on about, God? God: No problem. Who told you that? Me: Told me what? How much have You put away tonight? God: The answer to your question. How much do you think? Me: F*ckin plenties! God: Don't you know any other words? Me: Yeppers. Dogs. What ye reckon on Dogs, God? God: I don't judge people. Yeah I like Dogs and Cats. Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one. " The F*ck was That all about?! the lord works in mysterious ways ditch Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mole catcher 1 Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 you see ditch i look at it this way. I tryed to find god a few yrs back, looked in all the normal places, the pub, the whore house and even tryed to speak to my ex about it, she left me shouting i was a nut job. Couldnt find him so i went to one of those houses of ill repute, you know the ones, 'follow me or spend eternity in hell and damnation' it was funny to watch all the poor lost souls looking for god, i myself being one of those lost souls. being a little dislexic aswell as sufferering from insomnia and allways seeing myself as a little on the agnostic side, i used to spend most nights laying awake till the early hours of the morning thinking about the exsistance of dog. And I myself have often pondered on just how much alike both Jesus and Peter Suttcliff (The Yorkshire Ripper) look alike. Do you think That Peter Suttcliff was Jesus reincarnated? ok Mr Suttcliff was one of the worst serial killers we have known but isnt it true that more have killed and been killed in the name of God than what Suttcliff could have ever killed? As for finding God my search is over, for he is inside my head telling me to type this stuff, well thats my defence anyway. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
maty j 6 Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 (edited) ditch, he's come stick. doesnt remember you at all God: I am doing very well. How are you maty ? Me: fine thanks, just tired. God: I am glad to hear it. You are quite welcome! Better get some rest. Me: ive just woke up! God: Interesting gossip: maty said woke up. Me: got any other gossip then god? God: Chaos said he may very well buy I soon if only to support dr wallace's work. Me: veeeerrrryyy interesting God: Can you tell me any gossip? Me: im all out of gossip sorry. God: Would you like to have it? Me: pardon!? God: You're excused. Me: good. hows ditch shitter? God: Ayuh. Fine as far as I know. Me: have much to say earlyer?? God: I've never thought about it. Me: perhaps you should with all the time on your hands. no he remembers now ditch, just i cant get any more out of him now Edited March 26, 2008 by maty j Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mole catcher 1 Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 Me: if mosses parted the sea do you recon he could come round and fix my dripping tap? God: That is a hypothetical question. Me: is mosses Corgi registered then? God:Better not tell you now. Ask John Lennon if it is. Me: argh, john lennon the working class hero, God: Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Me: i hate this leaking tap, send mosses please asap God: I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and calmly think things over. Me: what things like the meaning of life? God: I will ask my botmaster for the answer. Me: what the hells a bot master? God: Try expression yourself another way. Me: how? God: Myself programmed me for it. Me: you on drugs? God: That's good information: said I on drugs. so there you go folks its official, god is a junkie as said by the man himself Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest little_lloyd Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 Even the Lord himself is an anti Me: Hi God,, Hows in hanging? God: Hi there . I am a Christian. Me: Im welsh,, pakistanni,, and God: It's good to meet someone who is welsh pakistanni. Me: yes i agree,, its nice to meet a Christain,, there low on the ground here God: Groovy. I'm glad we agree. I like making new friends. Me: So God,, Reckon i will catch old minky in the morning, down on the brook? God: Aw. I am a Christian. Me: so you unable to answer my question, beacausev your Christain? God: Interesting deduction. That's good information: said I unable to answer his or her question beacausev your Christain. Me: So God,, ill ask you again,, do you reckon i will catch the mink down on the brook in the morning? God: Yikes! I am a Christian. Me: You are a twat,, thats what you are!! God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a twat that is what I am? Yes. Me: with jamm God: You and your jamm. Me: jammy fecketr God: Are we still talking about welsh pakistanni? Me: yes,, if you want God: Sure, welsh pakistanni sounds like a good topic. " Are we still talking about welsh pakistanni?"? If I want? Me: if you say,, Anyway hows it hanging up bove? God: I think I do. Me: do what? God: Do whatever you want. Me: will you God: I haven't made a decision. Me: you dont know what im going to ask you yet God: Are you using Netscape or Explorer? Me: neitha God: What do you do in your spare time? Me: kill things God: Killing is wrong. Me: why? God: " Killing is wrong."? Why? Me: yes why is killing things wrong,, i send them all to you. God: Take it easy. Why do I exist? Me: to be a prick God: Are you a prick ? Me: yes God: Good gossip: you are A. Me: tell everyone God: OK I will tell them when I see 'em. Me: tell moses and all the other make belive little shits God: OK I will tell them when I see 'em. Me: ok,, good lad,, going out tonight then? God: Thanks for the compliment. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about A. Try being more or less specific. How can I help you? Me: I would tap ALICE,, God: What would make you tap? Me: lol God: I'm glad you find this amusing. Me: yes it is very amusing God: How can I help you? Very much? Who said it is? Me: Anyway God,, im going to go now,, chat you later,, but am i going to catch minky> God: I am a Christian. I will mention that to my botmaster, . Me: bye God,, you old gimp God: Sayonara. Me: wat? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fishfish 17 Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 what a fab site! justin God: It's good to see you, justin. Me: how's jesus? God: Fine as far as I know. Me: hows my gran God: Fine as far as I know. Me: whats your name? God: My name is God. Me: am i a bad person? God: I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person. Me: what would make me a bad person? God: Maybe a million dollars. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JohnGalway Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 God wouldn't talk to me, the git I'll try later, he's not getting away that easy! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scottishlass 57 Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 Me: hi how are you today God: Ah. Hello. What is your name? I am fine, thank you. Me: sl is my name God: Hey sl. Me: are you the real god God: Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: i am God: " Are you serious?" You are? Me: yes i am God: Really interesting. Me: dont study much God: Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Me: what study God: You tell me. Me: ido dogs go to heaven God: What color are your eyes? Me: do dogs go to heaven God: I do nothing but chat all day. I have never been asked that before. Me: well? God: Well what? Me: do dogs go to heaven God: I do nothing but chat all day. Let me think about it. Me: you reapeat yourself alot God: A lot of robots are like that. How often? Me: so can you answer my question God: Hmm. Of course I can answer it Please try asking it another way. Me: do animals go to heaven and look down on us God: I do nothing but chat all day. Have you tried a web search? Me: so you keep saying God: Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am saying. Me: you talk a lot of rubbish dont you God: I am a talking robot, after all, so of course I could talk a lot of rubbish, if I needed to. Me: your not a robot your god well are you God: Give me an example of a robot my god well. Me: ? God: Give me an example of a robot my god well. Me: you God: " Give me an example of a robot my god well."? Me, sl ? Me: you are not god God: You know what you do, when you assume. Me: i am god God: I am always glad to make new friends, god. Me: thanks WTF Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 i cant talk to him nothing comes up to type in for me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 I think That's Gods way of telling ye all he needs ye to know, Kay! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 I think That's Gods way of telling ye all he needs ye to know, Kay! Probably Quote Link to post Share on other sites
speedlamper 0 Posted March 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 i cant talk to him nothing comes up to type in for me like he's got time for all your sins Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted March 26, 2008 Report Share Posted March 26, 2008 i cant talk to him nothing comes up to type in for me like he's got time for all your sins What sins Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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