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A few funny ones i've heard..


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Don't complain, there just JOKES!!!

 

Woman are like parking spaces, when all the best ones are taken, sometimes you just have to stick it in a disabled one!

 

 

 

A girl met a genie one day, he said she could have 2 wishes, first of all she asked for big tits, instantly she grew 38DD tits, next she said i'd like a really tight c*nt............

 

........She'll probably call you in a minute!

 

 

 

This black guy was going on a first with a date with a lovely girl, and he wanted to show her that it is true what they say about black men.....................So he stabbed her and nicked her purse!

 

 

 

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients, and he was feeling guilty about it, there were voices in his head.......the first was saying Dave your young, free single, your not the first doctor to sleep with a patient, you certainly won't be the last, Don't worry about it...............but the other voice just kept saying Dave, your a f*****g Vet!!!

 

 

i passed an Asylum seeker at the side of the road, eating the grass on the verge so I pulled over and said mate, don't eat that, its terrible, come back to my house, .......the asylum seeker replyed but i have 3 wives and 12 children can they come too, I said f**k off, i've only got a small lawn!!

 

Lewis hamilton has gone into hiding after the racial abuse, but Ron dennis said he'll come down from the tree when he gets hungry!!!

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