No fuucking around on this topic

[Qbgrey 4,159]

Had similar as down south, rocked my dad to pieces, lost him 3 yr ago aswell.  It’s very difficult situation it’s the nightmares that we’re bad at the start for me..  Drinking, getting angry, no patience for anyone , lots of things can happen.  I’m sorry to hear that mush never nice to have lost a brother. I find myself talking to myself as the person we lost, like: pick your fuking self up you goon and get on. Shit like that . I honestly don’t know how some people do it, they stand up at thier dads/ mum furneral and play videos and tell funny stories, its great but I could nt do it.we had about 200 people back to the wake and I was still were nt right.

[mushroom 13,256]

1 hour ago, gnasher16 said:

Bit raw for me this one after the year ive just had.....having lost the most precious person in the world to me last year and hitting absolute rock bottom im only just starting to realise that in order to truly honour that person you have to carry on and live your life in a way they would have wanted you to.....we're all different i guess but expert professional help was of absolutely no use to me at all....after pushing everybody away for months ive found the familiar faces your most used to being around are the biggest experts as they know how you tick but im not expecting the actual heartbreak to ease any time soon,just good days and bad days.

This whole grieving caper is certainly a test ive miserably failed and showed nothing but weakness so far..... i wish you the best of strength Mush and happy memories of the person you lost in order to have some positivity to carry forward.....bless you mate.

I’m the only one grieving!

Mum’s got bat shit, dad’s dead and burned. Brother has learned to deal with it. I’m different.

Love you too you big cuddly you  

[mushroom 13,256]

4 hours ago, Borr said:

Sorry to hear that mate. I don't think you get over that. Not that I've experienced such loss , but I think I've focused on the living and without being patronising I always say that people live on in memory and sharing stuff about them. We're exposed to death more as we get older but it doesn't make loss easier. Have a beer for him and give me a shout if you want some abuse.

Thanks mate  

[mushroom 13,256]

1 hour ago, NEWKID said:

Jeez mate, that's sad..

My brother is my best mate, we've been business partners for nearly 30 years and he's the bloke I trust the most in the world... we've been through a lot together as kids and adults.. so that's heartbreaking to read for me...

I can't offer any advice as although I've lost a couple of people close to me, one in particular who helped shape who i am and was certainly very much a man I loved like a father, I haven't lost a brother or a really close family member... 

I wish you the best though mate, raise a glass, play a song or quietly think, whatever it is that's right for you I suppose...

Take it steady mate 

 

 

Fuuck the msg, the other one is bent like a Welsh note…. Rub salt in the wound ya cnut  

Edited February 14 by mushroom

[mushroom 13,256]

The question is,… how do you get on! Our Kidda does and he can’t explain it.

[Chid 6,603]

I've emotionally switched off to death , I'm the type of person who will laugh and joke at a funeral of a loved one .. 

I believe there's more out there after death after something I witnessed when I was a child so death has never bothered me.

[mushroom 13,256]

1 minute ago, Chid said:

I've emotionally switched off to death , I'm the type of person who will laugh and joke at a funeral of a loved one .. 

I believe there's more out there after death after something I witnessed when I was a child so death has never bothered me.

I’m emotionally switched off, don’t believe in nowt. Yet twice a year, I falta. No logical reasoning, nowt!

Just want to know how others deal with “fuucked up”

[gnipper 6,543]

Dig some tunes and memories up and have a bloody good cry mate.

 We were talking at work today and my cousin who works with me lost his mum and dad relatively young and completely unexpected within the last couple of years and he has taken it remarkably well imo and I am the opposite and get an emotional mess, when my dad died it seemed like every other song I heard on the radio was one of his favourites and it set me off. I couldn't visit the house without crying and absolutely no way could I sit in his chair. Facing the upsetting stuff seems to have helped me get over it though rather than avoiding it.

[mel b 2,761]

50 minutes ago, mushroom said:

The question is,… how do you get on! Our Kidda does and he can’t explain it.

Your brother is just better at hiding it mush. He's hurting just as much as you are.

My own bitter experience, is that the pain never leaves you.  You just learn how to hide it. Sometimes your hiding it from the world , and sometimes you're hiding it from yourself.  It does you good to take a look at it from time to time , and just have a cry , and let the pressure out.

You aren't on your own mush , lots of lads on here will know exactly how you feel , and what you're going through.

Not many people get through life without a few deep scars mate. 

[dai dogs 1,618]

I’m a straight talking sort of guy iv been  through this sort of thing myself and it never goes away it will always be in your head it will always bring tears it will always hurt it will live with you for the rest of your life 

[chartpolski 24,604]

As I found out; you never get over it….you just have to get on with it.

Cheers.

[jukel123 8,679]

Heart  breaking  grief is another expression of love. As long as you still experience love, you will continue to suffer grief.

Edited February 14 by jukel123

[Welsh_red 4,747]

One of the best quotes I've heard about pain of losing a loved one is from a TV series 

" what is grief,  but love persevering " 

 

[iworkwhippets 12,710]

14 hours ago, mushroom said:

I’ve never and can’t get over the death of my little brother. 14 years old and the last time I saw him was on the slab. Looking like an Inanimate doll! I’m able to push it out of my mind 363 days a year but his birthday and the anniversary of his death still haunt me 18 years later. 
 

How do you all who have dealt with similar, manage to stay sane on the significant days? I falta every year on the same two dates. 

Hey up mushy lad,  sorry about brother, no age to go is that, how do we manage.to remain sane, well having lost mum, dad sister brother, two wives, I didn't remain sane, I've just woken up, I dunno whether I'm dead or alive,the reason I say that is cos I've just put on my glasses, and I couldn't see a f***ing thing, they were ethels my neighbours, she stayed overnight. , keep.smiling pal, I'm.about give funerals direct a bell, 

[Aussie Whip 4,145]

My only sibling, my brother died at 23, I was 32, 30 years ago this year. Because I'm a spiritual person I believe we will meet again and I'm looking forward to that day, he paved the way and I have no fear of dying myself now. I like to remember the laughs and good times we had and you have to remember he is still your brother even though his mortal body has gone. I still get teary at times and always will but I know he is waiting for me so that gives me comfort and I can still feel the love.