Did anyone reach over 40 ?

[mackem 27,433]

9 hours ago, gnipper said:

Do those of you who had kids late not worry about kicking the bucket while the kids still need you as young adults? 

How old is a young adult though?By the time they are in their early 20's they should have flown the nest and be self-sufficient i reckon.

[mel b 2,724]

9 hours ago, gnipper said:

Do those of you who had kids late not worry about kicking the bucket while the kids still need you as young adults? I was 38 when my last daughter was born and imo I was too old to be messing around with nappies and stuff again.

Life doesn't always work out the way you expect it to.   My late wife ( the mother of my two children), passed away at 37.  The kids were 11 and 13 . 

To be honest , from the day that they were born , we'd always tried to teach them all the skills that they'd need in life . by the time they went to school , they could already read and write , swim , cross a road safely .  All the basic skills that they'd need if ever we weren't around to help them. By the time we lost their mom , both of them were pretty much capable of running a house. It's just as well that we did really , because when she passed away , I could barely look after myself,  it was the family and the kids that dragged me through.

6 minutes ago, mackem said:

How old is a young adult though?By the time they are in their early 20's they should have flown the nest and be self-sufficient i reckon.

I think that things are changing these days mack( mainly due to financial reasons),  and some people will never be able to afford to leave home.

My kids both left home with their partners,  in their mid 20s , and with a bit of help , have both managed to buy their own homes . 

I reckon it's getting harder and harder for young people every day now mack.

The young lads that I work with , earn little more than minimum wage , and a lot of them are paying up to £1,200 a month rent.

[mackem 27,433]

4 minutes ago, mel b said:

some people will never be able to afford to leave home.

My kids both left home with their partners,  in their mid 20s , and with a bit of help , have both managed to buy their own homes . 

Mid-20's is cut-off date,late 20's and still at home in would think they were failing in life and I had failed as a parent.

[fireman 10,993]

32 minutes ago, mel b said:

Life doesn't always work out the way you expect it to.   My late wife ( the mother of my two children), passed away at 37.  The kids were 11 and 13 . 

To be honest , from the day that they were born , we'd always tried to teach them all the skills that they'd need in life . by the time they went to school , they could already read and write , swim , cross a road safely .  All the basic skills that they'd need if ever we weren't around to help them. By the time we lost their mom , both of them were pretty much capable of running a house. It's just as well that we did really , because when she passed away , I could barely look after myself,  it was the family and the kids that dragged me through.

I think that things are changing these days mack( mainly due to financial reasons),  and some people will never be able to afford to leave home.

My kids both left home with their partners,  in their mid 20s , and with a bit of help , have both managed to buy their own homes . 

I reckon it's getting harder and harder for young people every day now mack.

The young lads that I work with , earn little more than minimum wage , and a lot of them are paying up to £1,200 a month rent.

I have a 26 year old step son who lives in a caravan in my garden and has done for the last 6 years,he's pretty much worked from when he left school and apart from a few years of pissing it up he just cannot afford to move out and pay over a grand a month for rent. I know of at least 4 others living in caravans in the parents gardens, so sorry to read your story bud and glad you all have sort of come out the other end ok...

[mel b 2,724]

1 hour ago, mackem said:

Mid-20's is cut-off date,late 20's and still at home in would think they were failing in life and I had failed as a parent.

That's pretty much the way that I always saw things mack , but I'm watching things change daily , and the country seems to be accelerating rapidly downhill.  The minimum wage has become the maximum wage. Zero hours contracts , and agency work , is becoming the norm . Even the real grafters are having a tough time at the moment. I sincerely hope that things change in the near future .

43 minutes ago, fireman said:

I have a 26 year old step son who lives in a caravan in my garden and has done for the last 6 years,he's pretty much worked from when he left school and apart from a few years of pissing it up he just cannot afford to move out and pay over a grand a month for rent. I know of at least 4 others living in caravans in the parents gardens, so sorry to read your story bud and glad you all have sort of come out the other end ok...

I have a couple of mates that have kids living in caravans on the drive , and one mate that built a big shed in the garden for his son. It's a sorry state of affairs , when a hard working young bloke can barely cover the rent on a home.

[Borr 6,363]

1 hour ago, mackem said:

Mid-20's is cut-off date,late 20's and still at home in would think they were failing in life and I had failed as a parent.

Get off your high horse sir...lol

[tatsblisters 10,245]

16 minutes ago, mel b said:

That's pretty much the way that I always saw things mack , but I'm watching things change daily , and the country seems to be accelerating rapidly downhill.  The minimum wage has become the maximum wage. Zero hours contracts , and agency work , is becoming the norm . Even the real grafters are having a tough time at the moment. I sincerely hope that things change in the near future .

I have a couple of mates that have kids living in caravans on the drive , and one mate that built a big shed in the garden for his son. It's a sorry state of affairs , when a hard working young bloke can barely cover the rent on a home.

I agree with you mate kids especially grown up kids need more help these days more than I ever did in the 70s and early 80s same as my eldest grandson who is in his early 20s and is under the autism spectrum though thankfully he leads a relatively normal life in full time work and my daughter watches over his finances and has enough money for a deposit for his own place though it's nearby so my daughter can help and keep an eye on him. Even though I have 5 grandkids 4 lads and a granddaughter i worry about them more than I did my own two and that's down to this changing world and country. 

[downsouth 7,423]

12 hours ago, gnipper said:

Do those of you who had kids late not worry about kicking the bucket while the kids still need you as young adults? I was 38 when my last daughter was born and imo I was too old to be messing around with nappies and stuff again.

Too old or do you really mean you just didn't want to do it? I reckon  the ammount of people likely to die in their late 50s early 60s is far less than the ammount of youngsters not doing a great job of rearing kids because they're not actually ready of mentally mature enough yet to do it properly.

[mel b 2,724]

31 minutes ago, Borr said:

Get off your high horse sir...lol

I don't think mack is on a high horse , he's probably just like most of us that are getting a bit older , and just hasn't been in the mix with it yet .

I very much saw things like mack , but the last few years , the whole world has changed drastically. 

The uk has gone to rat shit since covid . Its been slowly trundling downhill for years , but since covid , its plummeting out of control .

i see young guys that i work with , eating jam sandwiches for lunch , because they cant afford anything else . Some of them walk miles to work , because they cant afford the bus fair , and cant afford a bike.

im ok , im sitting on an old council contract , and earn half decent money,  and have no rent or mortgage to pay , but most of the younger guys , are agency workers , on zero hours contracts . If they take a days holiday , the managers probably wont have them in for the rest of the week as a punishment for taking a days holiday . They cant get dole money for the time that theyre laid off , as technically theyre employed , so they have zero money .

it's a proper sorry state of affairs mate.

16 minutes ago, tatsblisters said:

I agree with you mate kids especially grown up kids need more help these days more than I ever did in the 70s and early 80s same as my eldest grandson who is in his early 20s and is under the autism spectrum though thankfully he leads a relatively normal life in full time work and my daughter watches over his finances and has enough money for a deposit for his own place though it's nearby so my daughter can help and keep an eye on him. Even though I have 5 grandkids 4 lads and a granddaughter i worry about them more than I did my own two and that's down to this changing world and country. 

I never had any financial help from my folks , just because they didn't have it to give , but they did help me(especially my old man), to rebuild the semi derelict house that I bought. Buying a cheap house , and doing the work with the help of family and friends , meant that I was mortgage free in my thirties . That's something that's pretty impossible these days , because even a wreck of a house will fetch a stupid amount of money , and be bought by a builder , or landlord.

Your grandson is lucky to have a mom that looks after him so well . All credit to you for raising her the right way mate . 

Your right about grandkids . I worry more about my grandson than I worried about my own kids . I mainly worry about the world that he's heading into. 

[Borr 6,363]

I did say it in jest , but it's also a bit of a throwaway comment , failed as a parent if kids aren't moved out in twenties, I guess you could say this if the state provided affordable housing and didn't control the UK market through building the last few governments have made it a manifesto pledge and all have failed on it. Rent is at an all time high in value and demand, it's next to impossible to save for a mortgage whilst paying rent. You hear more stories of people moving back into parents along with their own young families to allow opportunity to save a deposit just for the opportunity to pay a loan back for the next 30 years. People have lost homes due to interest rates going up . Rental properties have been sold out underneath tenants because of the high market values. See what happens with the second home taxes going on in Wales and a couple of other places I believe. Foreign labour uses a huge amount of rental properties in the UK . I'm currently paying a mortgage and renting a room in Berkshire for a job I don't have, due to a lack of continuity. But the outgoings definitely tighten resolve and motivate one to find gainful employment rapidly lol.

[mel b 2,724]

18 minutes ago, Borr said:

I did say it in jest , but it's also a bit of a throwaway comment , failed as a parent if kids aren't moved out in twenties, I guess you could say this if the state provided affordable housing and didn't control the UK market through building the last few governments have made it a manifesto pledge and all have failed on it. Rent is at an all time high in value and demand, it's next to impossible to save for a mortgage whilst paying rent. You hear more stories of people moving back into parents along with their own young families to allow opportunity to save a deposit just for the opportunity to pay a loan back for the next 30 years. People have lost homes due to interest rates going up . Rental properties have been sold out underneath tenants because of the high market values. See what happens with the second home taxes going on in Wales and a couple of other places I believe. Foreign labour uses a huge amount of rental properties in the UK . I'm currently paying a mortgage and renting a room in Berkshire for a job I don't have, due to a lack of continuity. But the outgoings definitely tighten resolve and motivate one to find gainful employment rapidly lol.

Sorry mate , I knew it was a joke . My reply just made me sound like a knob .

It's never been easy to get a start in life , but it's getting to the point that no amount of hard work can get you on the way either.

By the same token , young people are changing as well . Not many are keen to do the shite jobs these days , and with the minimum wage becoming the maximum wage , the incentive to try harder and earn more , has been taken away from them.

It would be interesting to know how many homes could be freed up if we started sending immigrants back to the places that they came from.

[mackem 27,433]

4 hours ago, Borr said:

Get off your high horse sir...lol

No mate,I brought them up to be a bit self-reliant,not to be hanging round me in later life,I am on about how I personally would feel,other people other kids other feelings,but me personally I wanted my kids to fledge and fly,it’s a big old world,and I wanted them to be part of it,independence.

[WILF 47,547]

I have two older kids of 21 & 22…..both cracking along doing alright, I just take a view of if you want to go and do something off you go and when you want to come home, just come home !

My oldest has in the last 3 years moved out, moved to wales, moved back again, moved to Belfast, bought a house and sold a house…..and she has a great job and now she is at home until she decides what she wants to do next.

The younger has gone and moved in with the boyfriend, has a decent job on good money and is happy for a minute, if she changes her mind she just comes home…..whatever, couldn’t give a f**k as long as they are happy.

Our motto is, do what you like because you can always just land back here if you want and there will never, ever be any questions asked because this is your home. 
 

I had kids, that means I signed up for life….period. 

Edited Monday at 14:22 by WILF

[Borr 6,363]

50 minutes ago, mackem said:

No mate,I brought them up to be a bit self-reliant,not to be hanging round me in later life,I am on about how I personally would feel,other people other kids other feelings,but me personally I wanted my kids to fledge and fly,it’s a big old world,and I wanted them to be part of it,independence.

I agree and I'd like to be in a similar place when the time comes, having independent, self reliant, inquisitive kids is definitely the goal. Thankfully I'm not currently trying to deal with them flying the nest lol. 

[mackem 27,433]

29 minutes ago, Borr said:

I agree and I'd like to be in a similar place when the time comes, having independent, self reliant, inquisitive kids is definitely the goal. Thankfully I'm not currently trying to deal with them flying the nest lol. 

Your kids will be fine mate,your a decent bloke with good values,my problem as a parent is I never wanted them to struggle in life so I always pushed them to perform well in life and education,I realised with mass immigration comes mass competition for jobs,life’s hard for kids and the future is going to get harder.