jukel123 8,701 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 5 minutes ago, chartpolski said: “Deny, change the subject, blame your accuser”; classic anti interrogation techniques, maybe Juke was in the Special Forces ? LOL Cheers. Well,yes I am the special one. And I did attend a specialised school. Ya got me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 13,261 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 23 minutes ago, WILF said: Likewise mate, but then I remember the mind plays tricks on you and everything is always better in the memory than in reality……you’d be pig sick in a week flat, it about 3 days for me now then I can’t wait to f**k off again. Last time I was there, I didn’t even make it through customs before I wanted to fuuck off back to Spain! Little fuucking Hitlers at the border questioning my reasons for traveling to my own fuucking country and yes it was a non native and his fat ugly (I have a bit of power) lesbian colleague. Told them both none of their business to question a born and bred British citizen entering his home country. Ended up being escorted by armed police through the border, told to be a bit calmer next time and let on my way! Which was lucky because I had 5g of top grade hash taped to my balls 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 47,723 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 1 minute ago, mushroom said: Last time I was there, I didn’t even make it through customs before I wanted to fuuck off back to Spain! Little fuucking Hitlers at the border questioning my reasons for traveling to my own fuucking country and yes it was a non native and his fat ugly (I have a bit of power) lesbian colleague. Told them both none of their business to question a born and bred British citizen entering his home country. Ended up being escorted by armed police through the border, told to be a bit calmer next time and let on my way! Which was lucky because I had 5g of top grade hash taped to my balls Don’t mate, maybe Stiffmiester will tell you about when his boys were returning after a tour of duty I think and customs was taking fags off the lads when they landed in Blighty……I hear Jukel was the foreman making sure none of the tax dodging c**ts got away with anything ! Lol 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jukel123 8,701 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 4 minutes ago, mushroom said: Last time I was there, I didn’t even make it through customs before I wanted to fuuck off back to Spain! Little fuucking Hitlers at the border questioning my reasons for traveling to my own fuucking country and yes it was a non native and his fat ugly (I have a bit of power) lesbian colleague. Told them both none of their business to question a born and bred British citizen entering his home country. Ended up being escorted by armed police through the border, told to be a bit calmer next time and let on my way! Which was lucky because I had 5g of top grade hash taped to my balls Lucky the cops didn't have a daschund on drug patrol, you'd have been f****d. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jukel123 8,701 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 3 minutes ago, WILF said: Don’t mate, maybe Stiffmiester will tell you about when his boys were returning after a tour of duty I think and customs was taking fags off the lads when they landed in Blighty……I hear Jukel was the foreman making sure none of the tax dodging c**ts got away with anything ! Lol Seriously, that is unbelievable. That' gratitude . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 13,261 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 (edited) 3 times I’ve had armed police surround me at Manchester airport! First 2 times was the usual little hitlers. One bitch, fuucking slag… my old passport didn’t have biometrics so I had to go to the desk. Silly fuucker said I didn’t look like my photo (the passport was nearly expired so the photo was 10 years old) I explained that time tends to change ones features, then the ill equipped bitch said “and you’ve got a beard” I shit you not! I told her to stop being a silly c**t and listen to my accent (which is pretty broad when I drop into it)…. It was at that moment the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, I turned my head to see 5 pigs with big guns surrounding me. I put both hands on the desk and said tell this silly bitch to let me through.. strangely they did. The Second time I was leaving and my suitcase (hand luggage) got kicked, they swabbed it and “found” traces of heroin. Well I flipped out, again the hairs warned me and sure enough police with big guns were surrounding me. Opens my case and it was full of bacon, bangers, minted lamb chops, gammon steaks, salt and vinegar squares, fruit gums, you get the picture and the silly bitch asks me what’s this. Well being the smart arse that I am I started to point at things and say we’ll that’s smoked back bacon from ASDA, that’s Bisto etc. the pigs were in hysterics and the look on the slags face when she realised they were laughing at her was worth almost being shot Edited January 11 by mushroom 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 13,261 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 (edited) The third time was even more stupid. They’d identified someone bringing in fags from Spain on my flight and I got stopped. All I had was 2 packs of 50g Golden Virginia Ffs, nearly missed my train home because of it. Again I told them to get an education and maybe they could get more suitable work in ASDA. Yep police involved, searched and then they asked me to roll a fag to prove I smoked. They didn’t appreciate me lighting it up afterwards mind The police hate the border force as much as we do but they are there to protect not have a power trip because they were bullied at school and are to scared too stop brown people. Edited January 11 by mushroom Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 47,723 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 14 minutes ago, jukel123 said: Seriously, that is unbelievable. That' gratitude . Don’t start trying to be one of the good guys now, shouldn’t you be out snooping at the tax discs down your street ? ……I bet some b*****d is 3 days out of date ! Lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 13,261 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 Also got stopped in Manchester with a cutthroat razor (no blades) and the mong said it’s a dangerous weapon. Finally got a supervisor over who, yep waved me through. My parting words were… “maybe hire people with more intelligence than a brick” All these times, I had hash taped to my balls Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jukel123 8,701 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 3 minutes ago, WILF said: Don’t start trying to be one of the good guys now, shouldn’t you be out snooping at the tax discs down your street ? ……I bet some b*****d is 3 days out of date ! Lol I'm on it bud. Already reported a b*****d two,days late with his MOT. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 47,723 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 Just now, jukel123 said: I'm on it bud. Already reported a b*****d two,days late with his MOT. Good man, can’t be too careful……we don’t want David Lammy unable to write Hezbollah their cheque this week do we ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 47,723 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 7 minutes ago, mushroom said: The third time was even more stupid. They’d identified someone bringing in fags from Spain on my flight and I got stopped. All I had was 2 packs of 50g Golden Virginia Ffs, nearly missed my train home because of it. Again I told them to get an education and maybe they could get more suitable work in ASDA. Yep police involved, searched and then they asked me to roll a fag to prove I smoked. They didn’t appreciate me lighting it up afterwards mind The police hate the border force as much as we do but they are there to protect not have a power trip because they were bullied at school and are to scared too stop brown people. The little airport near me is blinding, none of that f***ing nonsense….You are through security in seconds. The shit bit is coming back and dealing with those f***ing nerds at Stanstead !…..Britain is choc-a-block with absolute c**ts like that ! Also, it’s £7 to drop someone off !!…..in what reality is it £7 to let someone out of a car ?!!……f**k them, I get dropped off at the car rental and get the bus for free, £28 every trip saving ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jukel123 8,701 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 (edited) 36 minutes ago, WILF said: Good man, can’t be too careful……we don’t want David Lammy unable to write Hezbollah their cheque this week do we ! You are very provocative tonight. I know your game, pick on me when I'm already exhausted and popping blood pressure pills after my spat with Charts. God you are clever. Lammy takes cheques from Israel. He's a member of The parliamentary group' Friends of Israel'. Good earner for him and many others. Edited January 11 by jukel123 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 13,261 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 (edited) I’ve genuinely a load of experiences with border force and they’re all idiots. I got a jar of piccalilli took off me because it’s a liquid. I pointed out it was labeled in grams and so by weight therefore not in ml or litres etc and no different to a tin of sardines or tuna (which I also had). They were having non of it. Even the bloke taking it off me couldn’t look me in the eye. Made a fuss. Spoke with someone else and they said your name is now on a list what list? The piccalilli smugglers cartel list? The rest of the crowd in line were pissing themselves. Someone shouted to his mrs “quick snort the Branston or they’ll take it off us” her reply “but it’s the chunky kind I need to cut it with the salmon paste” fuuckin uproar in the Que. made everyone’s day but mine. I love piccalilli and you can’t get it where I am Edited January 12 by mushroom 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mC HULL 13,655 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 55 minutes ago, WILF said: Don’t mate, maybe Stiffmiester will tell you about when his boys were returning after a tour of duty I think and customs was taking fags off the lads when they landed in Blighty……I hear Jukel was the foreman making sure none of the tax dodging c**ts got away with anything ! Lol greb that lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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