Banana Republic ?

[Goly 608]

10 minutes ago, mC HULL said:

greb that lol

Empty head, you'd have a clutcher if you saw the sleeves in my cases when I've been abroad. Lol

Edited January 11 by Goly

[jukel123 8,295]

1 hour ago, mushroom said:

3 times I’ve had armed police surround me at Manchester airport! First 2 times was the usual little hitlers. One bitch, fuucking slag… my old passport didn’t have biometrics so I had to go to the desk. Silly fuucker said I didn’t look like my photo (the passport was nearly expired so the photo was 10 years old) I explained that time tends to change ones features, then the ill equipped bitch said “and you’ve got a beard” I shit you not! I told her to stop being a silly c**t and listen to my accent (which is pretty broad when I drop into it)…. It was at that moment the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, I turned my head to see 5 pigs with big guns surrounding me. I put both hands on the desk and said tell this silly bitch to let me through.. strangely they did.
 

The Second time I was leaving and my suitcase (hand luggage) got kicked, they swabbed it and “found” traces of heroin. Well I flipped out, again the hairs warned me and sure enough police with big guns were surrounding me. Opens my case and it was full of bacon, bangers, minted lamb chops, gammon steaks, salt and vinegar squares, fruit gums, you get the picture and the silly bitch asks me what’s this. Well being the smart arse that I am I started to point at things and say we’ll that’s smoked back bacon from ASDA, that’s Bisto etc. the pigs were in hysterics and the look on the slags face when she realised they were laughing at her was worth almost being shot  

I hate going through security. You never know what those computer links have on you. I'm always scared they are going to get me for things from way back. Like the time I stole a biro from Woolworths in 1957. I wouldn't rile them in any way. Just get through as quick as you can is my motto.

[WILF 47,246]

41 minutes ago, mushroom said:

I’ve genuinely a load of experiences with border force and they’re all idiots. I got a jar of piccalilli took off me because it’s a liquid. I pointed out it was labeled in grams and so by weight therefore not in ml or litres etc and no different to a tin of sardines or tuna (which I also had). They were having non of it. Even the bloke taking it off me couldn’t look me in the eye. Made a fuss. Spoke with someone else and they said your name is now on a list  what list? The piccalilli smugglers cartel list? The rest of the crown in line were pissing themselves. Someone shouted to his mrs “quick snort the Branston or they’ll take it off us” her reply “but it’s the chunky kind I need to cut it with the salmon paste” fuuckin uproar in the Que. made everyone’s day but mine. I love piccalilli and you can’t get it where I am  

That should be the review of Britian on every travel site in the world ! Lol…….kids getting gang raped buck shee while a jar of pickle is treated like the atom bomb, just about sums the place up perfect !

[chartpolski 24,006]

I may have told this tale on here before.

First time I applied for visas for Australia, my wife was accepted straight away, but I kept getting rejected , and it cost £26 each time . I asked my airline to get me a crew visa, it it also got rejected.

So I phoned my son who was a diplomat at the British Consulate in Saudi at the time. He called his Australian counterpart in Dubai who rang me back.

I explained the situation to him and he put me on hold. He then asked if I had a middle name, I said no, then he asked me to fax a copy of my passport with my photo. 
He called me back and said no problem, the visa has been issued.

I asked him what the problem had been; he explained that someone in Jamaica with the same name and date of birth as me was on a terrorist watch list and had been flagged up as applying for an Australian visa in Saudi Arabia !

The guys middle name was Winston and his photo didn’t match mine, I’m white !

I said fax me a covering letter guaranteeing my visa, which he did.

Whrn I handed my passport to the officer in Oz he looked-from me to his computer and back to me and gave a little grin and nod of his head.

Ive been back to Oz a few times and no problems !

I wonder if I would have ever got there if my son hadn’t connections ?

Cheers.

Edited January 11 by chartpolski

[Qbgrey 4,104]

I don’t know what to do for the best, I’m effing  sick of over paying tax here, paid £500,000 iht recently which for us working class fuckers is slot of  £££. What percentage goes on what I don’t know but I’d rather our money be kept in house rather than for illegal immigrants. I prob won’t invest too much money in the uk when I sell up my home in the coming months, lost faith in this place. But moving abroad brings a whole lot of other problems. 

[iworkwhippets 12,620]

Had chance of moving to Oz in the 70s, like.a fool.im.still here, until.may of this year that is , then i.fly away from here, might be..a mistake, but.its in my.heart, and has been for.a while 

[Goly 608]

2 minutes ago, iworkwhippets said:

Had chance of moving to Oz in the 70s, like.a fool.im.still here, until.may of this year that is , then i.fly away from here, might be..a mistake, but.its in my.heart, and has been for.a while 

Thailand?

[Qbgrey 4,104]

1 minute ago, iworkwhippets said:

Had chance of moving to Oz in the 70s, like.a fool.im.still here, until.may of this year that is , then i.fly away from here, might be..a mistake, but.its in my.heart, and has been for.a while 

Not much to stay here for now kieth my ole Mucca. I love this place, seasons, traditions, great countryside but I believe it my we’ll be coming to an end

[WILF 47,246]

11 hours ago, Qbgrey said:

I don’t know what to do for the best, I’m effing  sick of over paying tax here, paid £500,000 iht recently which for us working class fuckers is slot of  £££. What percentage goes on what I don’t know but I’d rather our money be kept in house rather than for illegal immigrants. I prob won’t invest too much money in the uk when I sell up my home in the coming months, lost faith in this place. But moving abroad brings a whole lot of other problems. 

If it’s any comfort, that 500 grand will keep the boat people housed, fed and watered for 1.68 hours of one week……you’ll seep better tonight knowing that.

Wish all these rich farmers would hurry up and die, that will keep them till the end of the month ! Lol 

Edited January 12 by WILF

[mackem 26,861]

49 minutes ago, Qbgrey said:

 moving abroad brings a whole lot of other problems. 

Hong Kong when we lived there was great,I sometimes regret leaving,I wonder what happened to all the old characters.

[scotty12 2,139]

[mackem 26,861]

I thought of you earlier @scotty12

I was near parliament,a few locals had made americanadian flags lol,but none flying above just yet.

[tatsblisters 9,984]

8 hours ago, Goly said:

Thailand?

Know a few pit lads who have moved their and have a decent standard of living on their pit pensions. Not a country i have ever thought about visiting tbh. 

[iworkwhippets 12,620]

58 minutes ago, tatsblisters said:

Know a few pit lads who have moved their and have a decent standard of living on their pit pensions. Not a country i have ever thought about visiting tbh. 

Thailand isn't for me 

[TOMO 26,338]

11 hours ago, Goly said:

Thailand?

Dignitas....