Dry January

[jukel123 8,314]

Funny how attitudes change. I once saw my dad cook, and that was when my mam was in labour with my kid sister. I never saw him even put coal on the fire. If he wanted  a cup of tea ( in his case a pint pot with blue rings around it) he would gesture 'drink' by making a cupping action with his hand. She would duly oblige.

When I got married I complained that the stew my Mrs had made wasn't the same as my mother's. She told me to "f**k off back to your mother's then  mummy's boy".

I've never gotten over the shock.

Edited January 7 by jukel123

[THE STIFFMEISTER 16,098]

18 minutes ago, chartpolski said:

Every evening I ask my wife, what is the itinerary for tomorrow pet ?

Before she answers I tell her not to forget that I’ll be out at first light with the dogs, then home for breakfast, then I’ll be at the allotment sorting out the poultry , getting things ready for the spring, etc, then I’ll be home for lunch. 
Then I’ve got to go for dog food and to the feed merchants for hen food. Then take the dogs out again, then jet wash the kennels, then it’s tea time.

In the evening I’ll be watching football/snooker/darts on the tv in the man cave or out lamping and then back for supper.

But in between all that, we can do anything she wants. This is greeted with a roll of her eyes and her informing me that she is either going shopping or for lunch with her pals or did she forget to tell me she’s off for a couple of weeks to Dubai/Australia/New Zealand or some other exotic location .

And that, dear friends, is how we’ve been happily married for 48 years !

Cheers.

Fair play to you mate , good innings that . But I have ti be honest I have as much the crack knocking about with my misses than I ever do or did with my pals as a kid . 

[scotty12 2,163]

5 hours ago, Stavross said:

It’s the modern world we live in and long may it continue, my missus earns 3 times what I do, I don’t have to go to work to be able to pay bills, so I’ll happily do the cooking, cleaning ( when the cleaner doesn’t turn up ) decorating and whatever else she wants because my life would be a lot more work if she wasn’t the main bread winner, I look at most of my mates who work flat out because their missus has an average job or is at home looking after kids, I’ll stick to looking after her and the house while she’s out looking after the finances 

Long as you always remember too take your high heels off before you go to the shoot then you've got it sussed. 

[mC HULL 13,008]

7 minutes ago, THE STIFFMEISTER said:

Fair play to you mate , good innings that . But I have ti be honest I have as much the crack knocking about with my misses than I ever do or did with my pals as a kid . 

i’m a bloke ourlass is a women we like completely different things lol 

yes love coming coursing all day in the slop then a few bambi on the night 

and i’ll come for a spar day and get our hair done lol

imagine lol 

most my pals that would say similar have loads a spar days no days out blathered with the mutts lol 

when you see 2 together all the time like that ones sacrificed how they are and are playing along 

 

if you didn’t know i’ve got nvq in relationship

therapy lol 

[THE STIFFMEISTER 16,098]

Who said anything about a spa day ? Lol 

 

 

[downsouth 7,356]

My missus wouldn't get involved in any kind of DIY or maintenance work.If something needs doing she just tells me and I get it done She doesn't touch a thing in the garden either.But on the same token I've never touched a single appliance in her kitchen and she won't even allow me to take my plate out and wash it up after myself and all meals are cooked from scratch.I also had the exact same thing with my daughters mother.I went out and grafted and did all the blue jobs and she worked a few little part time jobs and did all the pink jobs.Id even drop my work bag in the hallway when I got in and pick it up as I walked out in the morning and wouldn't even have to second guess if I had a decent pack up.But my missus was brought up by her  West Indian parents and my ex was brought up by he granny who was a proper old Gypsy woman so were both brought up with very traditional values that the man does man stuff and the woman looks after him and the house

[Borr 6,168]

I look forward to the wife being the bread winner . Had my fill of contracting now.

Edited January 8 by Borr

[chartpolski 24,095]

9 minutes ago, mC HULL said:

 

 

if you didn’t know i’ve got nvq in relationship

therapy lol 

I want you to aim higher mate; a Doctorate from the University of Life should be achievable if you buckle down to your studies !

Cheers.

[jukel123 8,314]

15 hours ago, THE STIFFMEISTER said:

Fair play to you mate , good innings that . But I have ti be honest I have as much the crack knocking about with my misses than I ever do or did with my pals as a kid . 

I hate sounding smug,  or one up on anybody's relationship, because all relationships are different, but I won the lottery when I met my Mrs.

We've honestly only ever had 3 rows in 52 years and they have all been my fault.

The humdinger was when we went to Venice. The kids had grown up so we started to holiday abroad. Unfortunately we had a few incidents where street thieves had tried to snatch my wife's shoulder bag in Barcelona and Madrid.

 We were heading off for an evening meal in Venice when I noticed she was carrying a shoulder bag. I went ballistic and swore at her because she had previously agreed  to keep her possessions in a safer place.

She turned on her heel and left me standing. I was full of wind, piss and irrational adrenalin and stalked off to find the nearest bar. A Jewish whipper in at a restaurant greeted me with "Shalom" and tried to manhanle me into the restaurant.. I roared " f**k you ya c**t". ( He was tiny) and feeling better, had a wee pub crawl on red wine and whisky.

I don't know how I found my way back to the hotel.  Her indoors does names and flights etc.I knew it was near a bridge and a canal but there's a lot of bridges and canals in Venice.Lol

Next day we set off to the airport separately, sat separately and went through Manc Airport separately.  I had the keys to the car and when we reached the car I asked her if she intended travelling with me. We caught each others' eye and both burst out laughing. On the way home we promised we'd go back to Venice and we did. She still insists on wearing that shoulder bag though.

Edited January 8 by jukel123

[jukel123 8,314]

8 minutes ago, Borr said:

My grandad the epitome  of alpha male , wife beating racist hard man would only cook sausage rolls his forte I believe, my Oldman once cooked me a fry up which was spot on TBF , I cook better than the wife and dream of her being the bread winner , she does it all whether it's taking my kids to all the clubs , school , parties , works hard in her job does all the laundry , listens to me moan about work . I've punched my c**t for a decade to achieve not much other than 20 years of mortgage, but my lot are happy and without wealth I'll do the small things that add to life even if it's cooking the kids something nice after swimming when I've travelled 2 hrs and done a ten hour day in a roof space on my broken decking knees , life's good we take the positives and be grateful....

When you wrote " I punch my c**t" I thought you were a wife beater. I thought thats a bit retro. On second reading I understand. Lol

[THE STIFFMEISTER 16,098]

5 minutes ago, jukel123 said:

I hate sounding smug,  or one up on anybody's relationship, because all relationships are different, but I won the lottery when I met my Mrs.

We've honestly only ever had 3 rows in 52 years and they have all been my fault.

The humdinger was when we went to Venice. The kids had grown up so we started to holiday abroad. Unfortunately we had a few incidents where street thieves had tried to snatch my wife's shoulder bag in Barcelona and Madrid.

 We were heading off for an evening meal in Venice when I noticed she was carrying a shoulder bag. I went ballistic and swore at her because she had previously agreed  to keep her possessions in a safer place.

She turned on her heel and left me standing. I was full of wind, piss and irrational adrenalin and stalked off to find the nearest bar. A Jewish whipper in at a restaurant greeted me with "Shalom" and tried to show me his menu. I roared " f**k you ya c**t". ( He was tiny) and feeling better, had a wee pub crawl on red wine and whisky.

I don't know how I found my way back to the hotel.  Her indoors does names and flights etc.I knew it was near a bridge and a canal but there's a lot of bridges and canals in Venice.Lol

Next day we set off to the airport separately, sat separately and went through Manc Airport separately.  I had the keys to the car and when we reached the car I asked her if she intended travelling with me. We caught each others' eye and both burst out laughing. On the way home we promised we'd go back to Venice and we did. She still insists on wearing that shoulder bag though.

And so you should . Destroying that poor woman’s holiday like that . 

[mC HULL 13,008]

15 minutes ago, THE STIFFMEISTER said:

Who said anything about a spa day ? Lol 

 

 

i told you i see things lol 

 

[mC HULL 13,008]

8 minutes ago, jukel123 said:

I hate sounding smug,  or one up on anybody's relationship, because all relationships are different, but I won the lottery when I met my Mrs.

We've honestly only ever had 3 rows in 52 years and they have all been my fault.

The humdinger was when we went to Venice. The kids had grown up so we started to holiday abroad. Unfortunately we had a few incidents where street thieves had tried to snatch my wife's shoulder bag in Barcelona and Madrid.

 We were heading off for an evening meal in Venice when I noticed she was carrying a shoulder bag. I went ballistic and swore at her because she had previously agreed  to keep her possessions in a safer place.

She turned on her heel and left me standing. I was full of wind, piss and irrational adrenalin and stalked off to find the nearest bar. A Jewish whipper in at a restaurant greeted me with "Shalom" and tried to show me his menu. I roared " f**k you ya c**t". ( He was tiny) and feeling better, had a wee pub crawl on red wine and whisky.

I don't know how I found my way back to the hotel.  Her indoors does names and flights etc.I knew it was near a bridge and a canal but there's a lot of bridges and canals in Venice.Lol

Next day we set off to the airport separately, sat separately and went through Manc Airport separately.  I had the keys to the car and when we reached the car I asked her if she intended travelling with me. We caught each others' eye and both burst out laughing. On the way home we promised we'd go back to Venice and we did. She still insists on wearing that shoulder bag though.

i’m just having the craic mate aswell stiff is happy as a pig in shit or should i say a women getting a spa day lol 

[mC HULL 13,008]

19 minutes ago, Borr said:

My grandad the epitome  of alpha male , wife beating racist hard man would only cook sausage rolls his forte I believe, my Oldman once cooked me a fry up which was spot on TBF , I cook better than the wife and dream of her being the bread winner , she does it all whether it's taking my kids to all the clubs , school , parties , works hard in her job does all the laundry , listens to me moan about work . I've punched my c**t for a decade to achieve not much other than 20 years of mortgage, but my lot are happy and without wealth I'll do the small things that add to life even if it's cooking the kids something nice after swimming when I've travelled 2 hrs and done a ten hour day in a roof space on my broken decking knees , life's good we take the positives and be grateful....

when did alpha males beat women ? or become wife beating racists ? 

that sounds  like a beta male thing to say 

[mC HULL 13,008]

23 minutes ago, chartpolski said:

I want you to aim higher mate; a Doctorate from the University of Life should be achievable if you buckle down to your studies !

Cheers.

i had that by 16 chart lol