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Some Chinese proverbs :laugh:

One never needs their humor as much a when they argue with a fool.

 

A weasel comes to say Happy New Year to the chickens.

 

 

Waiting for a rabbit to hit upon a tree and be killed in order to catch it.

 

 

Your fingers can't be of the same length.

 

Flies never visit an egg that has no crack.

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I'm as sick as a small hospital

 

I'm so hungry I'd eat a small child

 

She had a face on her like a well slapped arse

 

Your' re as welcome as a fArt in a spacesuit

 

My mouth's as dry as a nun' s cr@ck

 

He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup

 

He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician

 

As funny as a burning orphanage

 

He's so camp, he shites tent pegs

 

I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes

 

I feel like a boiled sh1te (hung-over)

 

(when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress

 

She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn

 

As busy as the Dalkey dole office

 

Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit

 

As tight as a nun's knickers

 

I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn

 

I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of

the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.

 

Up and down like a hoor's knickers

 

No show pony but would do for a ride around the house

 

Did your mother find out who your father is yet?

 

What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt(well nicky)

 

I left her with a face like a painter' s radio

 

A Mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard!!

 

Jays us, she could breastfeed a crèche

 

As fit as a butcher's dog

 

She ' s got more chins than a Chinese phone book

 

Not even the tide would take her out

 

Mother Teresa wouldn't kiss her

 

Daz wouldn't shift her

 

Des Kelly wouldn't lay her

 

A sniper wouldn't take her out

 

Jays us, ya wouldn't ride her into battle

 

If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one

 

She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked p*ss off a nettle

 

She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede

 

She had a f@nny like a badly packed kebab

 

If I'd a garden full of Mickey' s I wouldn't let her look over the wall

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