What career path would you have trod if….

[mC HULL 12,508]

3 hours ago, gnasher16 said:

After a very moving funeral yesterday im in a somewhat reflective mood and reading through this topic i realise that through all the if's,but's and maybe's we can only make the best of who and what we are.....and as a young lad in the areas i grew up you amounted to nothing if you wasnt willing to take chances so as extremely boisterous,high energy,driven and very motivated young men chasing money myself and a few pals fell into crime and a couple of us did very well through life but having lost around 12 years in total and pretty much all of family life not a day go's by i dont wish id grown up in rural Berkshire and done a 9 to 5 job as a Postman.........we can all only play the hand we're dealt as best we can but with hindsight, no amount of wealth/power can ever rectify the feeling of a life of regret.

could a been worse mate like 60 year lost slaving away with f**k all to show for it 

[Aled 482]

22 hours ago, mackem said:

Would you have gone the trade route in hindsight knowing it was more cash in the long run?

Had a good think about this before answering mackem, and the answer is no, you see the University experience was priceless, outside my exam weakness I learnt a lot about life and how to rub along with people, how to deal with being excluded, and what to do when you are included i'm always the guy who talks to the person on the periphery, why.... because i've been there! I'm proud of that. I also enjoyed aspects of the study, lectures were of interest. There are other positives, there was a 3 to 1 female to male ratio at my college!! 

So a cracking question mackem, but i've given you an honest answer. 

Cheers. Aled

 

[NEWKID 27,159]

9 minutes ago, Aled said:

Had a good think about this before answering mackem, and the answer is no, you see the University experience was priceless, outside my exam weakness I learnt a lot about life and how to rub along with people, how to deal with being excluded, and what to do when you are included i'm always the guy who talks to the person on the periphery, why.... because i've been there! I'm proud of that. I also enjoyed aspects of the study, lectures were of interest. There are other positives, there was a 3 to 1 female to male ratio at my college!! 

So a cracking question mackem, but i've given you an honest answer. 

Cheers. Aled

 

Nice answer that mate  

[brambles 3,245]

Having been in the building trade all my working life it never ceases to amaze me the people you bump into. There is every walk of life working in it from some very intelligent people really happy to work away every day and not wishing for any great deal of responsibility such as being  foremen, agents and contract managers and having smoke blown up they're arse. To the clowns who couldn't join hands at a sing song or be left alone to build Lego let alone facing brick, all wanting the notoriety of being someone special. Some of the characters you meet really make it an enjoyable environment to work in.

[NEWKID 27,159]

Good thread this, interesting to see people's takes on happiness in work/life and what different people see as success... no two people are the same in that regard.. 

From my side of things... I'm a bit of a workaholic, it could be seen as a fault perhaps, but that is my character, I'm not one for sitting down much and genuinely enjoy being busy, I feel guilty (or thar sort of feeling) when I'm not "at it"... I think I've always been that way... I'm also a gambler and enjoy the risk/reward of business, been self employed since I was 18, so am past worrying about anyone other than me making decisions... 

Me and my brother ended up in a woman's refuge with my mum for nearly a year as kids, with absolutely nothing, not a penny only the clothes on our backs... f**k the long story.. but I vividly remember what really skint is, plus the feeling of shame my mum had, it was shit... I think it made me to be honest, I looked after my brother a lot, and we have been in business together for nearly 30 years now... we've got our fingers in a few things, but construction has been the main stay, we compliment each others skill sets really well, never argue, trust each other with our lives so thankfully business has been kind to us... a big thing also for me was meeting my wife and her understanding my mind set, work ethic and most of all allowing, encouraging even the risk taking, we've taken some big ones together and it has changed our lives, we are both absolute working class, and I love that...

I don't think I'd change much, everything leads to where you are, and I'm pretty happy, have great kids, a Mrs I genuinely like, and work isn't the worst thing in the world....perhaps a footballer or a rock star would've been great, but wasn't quite good enough at either so I'll stick to chucking up industrial buildings for now! Lol

[NEWKID 27,159]

1 hour ago, Borr said:

I've two young lads one (younger)is a tough cookie the elder who's been through hell and back is lovely and too nice, I think people , kids find their level , the youngest I'm hard on and insist on sharing and kindness , the elder one I tell to stop being nice and tackle lads or whatever, we're all different characters. It's definitely a worry for parents , I remember my old man having to pick me up from my third secondary school after standing up to bullies and chucking me a few quid saying don't let it bother you son... Just how it is , I'm hoping these pair look out for each other . 

You've got a cracking couple of kids Joe, credit to you and Ofelia mate..

[jukel123 8,023]

20 minutes ago, NEWKID said:

Good thread this, interesting to see people's takes on happiness in work/life and what different people see as success... no two people are the same in that regard.. 

From my side of things... I'm a bit of a workaholic, it could be seen as a fault perhaps, but that is my character, I'm not one for sitting down much and genuinely enjoy being busy, I feel guilty (or thar sort of feeling) when I'm not "at it"... I think I've always been that way... I'm also a gambler and enjoy the risk/reward of business, been self employed since I was 18, so am past worrying about anyone other than me making decisions... 

Me and my brother ended up in a woman's refuge with my mum for nearly a year as kids, with absolutely nothing, not a penny only the clothes on our backs... f**k the long story.. but I vividly remember what really skint is, plus the feeling of shame my mum had, it was shit... I think it made me to be honest, I looked after my brother a lot, and we have been in business together for nearly 30 years now... we've got our fingers in a few things, but construction has been the main stay, we compliment each others skill sets really well, never argue, trust each other with our lives so thankfully business has been kind to us... a big thing also for me was meeting my wife and her understanding my mind set, work ethic and most of all allowing, encouraging even the risk taking, we've taken some big ones together and it has changed our lives, we are both absolute working class, and I love that...

I don't think I'd change much, everything leads to where you are, and I'm pretty happy, have great kids, a Mrs I genuinely like, and work isn't the worst thing in the world....perhaps a footballer or a rock star would've been great, but wasn't quite good enough at either so I'll stick to chucking up industrial buildings for now! Lol

The theory is you have a rough childhood and an abusive dad then you learn that behaviour too and become the same. Not true. Some of the most sorted, decent people I've known had a bad start,  but that experience helps them and they learn from it. It also helps you appreciate what you've got and  the value of living life in the present. As the saying goes the past is another country.

[NEWKID 27,159]

1 minute ago, jukel123 said:

The theory is you have a rough childhood and an abusive dad then you learn that behaviour too and become the same. Not true. Some of the most sorted, decent people I've known had a bad start,  but that experience helps them and they learn from it. It also helps you appreciate what you've got and  the value of living life in the present. As the saying goes the past is another country.

Got a good relationship with my dad now mate, I understand that not everything is black and white and as adults we all make wrong decisions that can and do impact our kids... but... I've made a conscious decision to change a few things to make sure my marriage worked and I stayed with my kids, we all f**k up sometimes mate, but I didn't want to tread a similar path... youve got to break the mould eventually... ours is a family full of f**k ups (probably like many others)... me and my brother have done things differently...I'm quite proud of that tbh

[jukel123 8,023]

1 minute ago, NEWKID said:

Got a good relationship with my dad now mate, I understand that not everything is black and white and as adults we all make wrong decisions that can and do impact our kids... but... I've made a conscious decision to change a few things to make sure my marriage worked and I stayed with my kids, we all f**k up sometimes mate, but I didn't want to tread a similar path... youve got to break the mould eventually... ours is a family full of f**k ups (probably like many others)... me and my brother have done things differently...I'm quite proud of that tbh

I never had a positive relationship with my dad. I remember some nice moments , but let's put it this way, I've never cheated on my wife or assaulted her or my kids. Sometimes a poor role model is all you need. You just do the opposite. That's not a 'poor me' statement. The same is true for a lot of people. 

[WILF 46,811]

3 minutes ago, NEWKID said:

Got a good relationship with my dad now mate, I understand that not everything is black and white and as adults we all make wrong decisions 

I think we have to be easy on people if we can, people do what they can with the knowledge they have.

Being hard on people and carrying that bitterness around, even those who take everything from you, is like carrying a big bag of rocks….and you just keep adding more rocks and it gets heavier and heavier until it breaks you and everyone around you……you have to learn to just put it down and leave it by the wayside.

Took me years to work that out but, luckily, not too many.

[NEWKID 27,159]

7 minutes ago, jukel123 said:

I never had a positive relationship with my dad. I remember some nice moments , but let's put it this way, I've never cheated on my wife or assaulted her or my kids. Sometimes a poor role model is all you need. You just do the opposite. That's not a 'poor me' statement. The same is true for a lot of people. 

Similar mate...never ever been a poor me type, there are loads of people living far worse than me, I saw a few things as a kid that you just shouldn't see.. but it makes you who you are... I hate people using bad past experiences as a reason for their shit behaviour or lack of morals etc...life is too short mate.

[NEWKID 27,159]

8 minutes ago, WILF said:

I think we have to be easy on people if we can, people do what they can with the knowledge they have.

Being hard on people and carrying that bitterness around, even those who take everything from you, is like carrying a big bag of rocks….and you just keep adding more rocks and it gets heavier and heavier until it breaks you and everyone around you……you have to learn to just put it down and leave it by the wayside.

Took me years to work that out but, luckily, not too many.

Good analogy mate, as I said, it's a small part of a big story, it happens to lots of people, different times, different people... there is zero bitterness, in fact quite the opposite..

[Blackmag 6,092]

3 hours ago, dogmandont said:

The one great worry I have in life is the future of my autistic son, he's as bright as a button and as strong as an ox for his age but as soft as butter, the most loving child any parent could ask for, the true apple of my eye. But I fear the thing that makes him the beautiful human he is will be the thing that allows him to be taken advantage of and cause him pain. 

I know yourself and a few other lads on here have autistic kids so can relate. 

 

Yes it's hard buddy my lad will graft with me or my mates for days then all of a sudden his anxiety kicks in then it's a non starter he's the same as your lad he's got a massive heart but is easy lead and there's always cnuts out there that will try it on  

[king 11,972]

A very good thread thanks mackem for starting it..

And some very thought provoking posts aswell..

 

[mackem 26,469]

49 minutes ago, WILF said:

Being hard on people and carrying that bitterness around, even those who take everything from you, is like carrying a big bag of rocks….and you just keep adding more rocks and it gets heavier and heavier until it breaks you and everyone around you……you have to learn to just put it down and leave it by the wayside.

Have you been studying Buddhism on the sly wilf?Thats the analogy of the heavy rock from the essence of Buddhism Ommmmm.