Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted January 28, 2008 Report Share Posted January 28, 2008 Wasn't really sure Where such a story would fit in, so I plummped for here. Anyway, it's black as tar out there and there's a lovely, stiff breeze blowing. I just Had To get out with the rifle! I've walked to the end of my first track and, before I even got there, I had to flick the lamp to see where the hell I was. That dark! Got past my own top gate and had a look down onto the bog, I think? I usually would do. Anyway then, as I do, I swept the field above. I really only do this as a matter of principle. Nothing liable to ever be there. But there was. A hare. And what happened next probably happened faster than I'll be able to type it! " Oh, aye? " I thought. " A hare. That's nice. Wondered when they'd be back .......... Hullo, isn't he coming this way? .......... Hang a f*cking bout; That is a hare / rabbit, isn't it? Two little red eyes. Swaying and bobbing. Coming in like a f*cking train??? .......... Hang on; I haven't called that b*stard. What's his game? ..... " At this point, I got this crazy mental image of a Staffy coming at me. Head down and with that characteristic, rolling gait. There was definately something queer about this rabbit / hare. I was half trying to think rabbit because those eyes seemed so low to the ground. And coming in Damn fast! In fact, getting bloody close and coming straight at me, up the very beam! I think I suffered a sort of mental shut down then. It was all so incomprehensable I couldn't think! I was being charged, across a bloody field in the middle of no where, by a Staffordshire Bull Rabbit!!! Like; WTF?! I switched the lamp off and wished it would go away! Then I switched it on again ..... And there it was! F*cking badger! Eight foot from me. On the very track I was standing on. And STILL heading at me damn fast!!!!! If we had rabies over here, I'd have screamed like a girl and shot it in the face there and then! As it was, I s'pose it finally twigged that there was a whole human behind the lamp ~ Thank F*ck! ~ and the next thing I knew, it was skidaddling off up the track away from me. F*ck me though, if I hadn't had my hands full, and had had the presence of mind to realise what was happening in the first place, I could've whipped my camera out and got an award winning shot of one badger! Barely five foot away and bathed in the full glare of my lamp! What a f*ckin picture! And one I think will stay with me, in my minds eye, for the rest of my days. No wonder they get killed on roads. If that's how behave! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hairyface 211 Posted January 28, 2008 Report Share Posted January 28, 2008 jesus ditch you had me on the end of my seat, lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest digdeep Posted January 28, 2008 Report Share Posted January 28, 2008 LMFAO That read was excellent mate, you word it so well, as i read it i actually pictured you standing their, arse blowing blood pumping, ready to run as you said, but we all would, the bit that got me most though was "staffordshire bull rabbit" i told you that jacket you wear would bring nothing but trouble Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bshadle 5 Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 You can spin a tale, Ditch. Loved it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
john b 38 Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 I imagine he was hurrying to go and trash that new mink cage of yours DS Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chaz 6 Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 Here is a pic I took last year of a badger only about 5 ft away the strange thing was I had a lurcher on the slip and this fella was not bothered in the slightest, not the best pic as I had a filter on my lamp, a dog pulling me, a lamp in one hand and a camera in the other trying to take a pic Quote Link to post Share on other sites
skycat 6,173 Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 Great story! Loved to have seen your face LOL. We get them out lamping sometimes, and they just ignore us completely, just carry on mooching about just a few yards away. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Geoff.C 0 Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 Nice tale Ditchy,very well told. I quite look forward to your adventures! Well done Chaz for the badger picture,very good result with your hands full. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Coney 3 Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 Great story, well worth a read Ditch! keep em coming. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SNAP SHOT 194 Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 DID ye get his number plate......... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Frank Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 If it got any closer, im sure your Rifle would of sorted it Ds. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
roystoncrankted 1 Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 Wasn't really sure Where such a story would fit in, so I plummped for here. Anyway, it's black as tar out there and there's a lovely, stiff breeze blowing. I just Had To get out with the rifle! I've walked to the end of my first track and, before I even got there, I had to flick the lamp to see where the hell I was. That dark! Got past my own top gate and had a look down onto the bog, I think? I usually would do. Anyway then, as I do, I swept the field above. I really only do this as a matter of principle. Nothing liable to ever be there. But there was. A hare. And what happened next probably happened faster than I'll be able to type it! " Oh, aye? " I thought. " A hare. That's nice. Wondered when they'd be back .......... Hullo, isn't he coming this way? .......... Hang a f*cking bout; That is a hare / rabbit, isn't it? Two little red eyes. Swaying and bobbing. Coming in like a f*cking train??? .......... Hang on; I haven't called that b*stard. What's his game? ..... " At this point, I got this crazy mental image of a Staffy coming at me. Head down and with that characteristic, rolling gait. There was definately something queer about this rabbit / hare. I was half trying to think rabbit because those eyes seemed so low to the ground. And coming in Damn fast! In fact, getting bloody close and coming straight at me, up the very beam! I think I suffered a sort of mental shut down then. It was all so incomprehensable I couldn't think! I was being charged, across a bloody field in the middle of no where, by a Staffordshire Bull Rabbit!!! Like; WTF?! I switched the lamp off and wished it would go away! Then I switched it on again ..... And there it was! F*cking badger! Eight foot from me. On the very track I was standing on. And STILL heading at me damn fast!!!!! If we had rabies over here, I'd have screamed like a girl and shot it in the face there and then! As it was, I s'pose it finally twigged that there was a whole human behind the lamp ~ Thank F*ck! ~ and the next thing I knew, it was skidaddling off up the track away from me. F*ck me though, if I hadn't had my hands full, and had had the presence of mind to realise what was happening in the first place, I could've whipped my camera out and got an award winning shot of one badger! Barely five foot away and bathed in the full glare of my lamp! What a f*ckin picture! And one I think will stay with me, in my minds eye, for the rest of my days. No wonder they get killed on roads. If that's how behave! gospel truth we was on some permission at bramham when we lamped one that did the same it ran right up to me and reared up and gave a gruff for a second or two before running off safely into the night couldnt believe wht ad seen Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurchergrrl 1,441 Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 A Staffordshire Bull Rabbit .... omg I laughed so hard I snorted I picturing you screaming like a girl ... oh feck ... lol lol Can I come over for a holiday at yours? I could use a right good chuckle. That'll keep me snickering for the rest of the night .... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea 2 Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 as always, a great read with more drama than a tv soap ( not that i ever bother watching them ) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ossie 11 Posted January 30, 2008 Report Share Posted January 30, 2008 "staffordshire bull rabbit"? i thought this was going to be another one of your Leitrim Experiments gone terribly wrong! oh dear, i can just imagine you stood there, in shock, mere feet from being steam-rollered by a badger! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.