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What Happens At Yours On Christmas Day


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Mine will consist of me and the Mrs having a cup of tea around 6am. Open any present's ( I Wish )  ? about 11 ish she will start to cook the dinner as we would have prepared it all the day before. Around 12 my lads will appear along with the Grandkids, By 5pm The house will look like a whirl wind has gone through it, All my Beer will have been consumed and just empty boxes left on the conservatory floor, The sink will look like a Victorian banquet had been held judging by the amount of stuff that needs washing up. Around 6pm they will eventually f**k off due to lack of alcohol. Me and the Mrs will then spend the next 2hrs washing up and putting the house back in order,

Remind me again why i am meant to like Christmas ??

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I will be a happy and sad day. Will start with putting In beef low and slow then cup of tea Wifey and me opening presents bit later a bacon door step Lol. Midmorning my lad and his wife will visit ope

There are quite a lot of single lonely people living on the boats and on new year I will do a massive beef joint in the slow cooker loads of bread rolls get a fire pit going on the grass and invite th

This is a follow up to the above post. Well forgot to photo the whole meal was a bit stressed cooking. I ordered a three Rib of Aberdeen Angus Beef from the local butcher. When I picked it up I t

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If it weren’t for the tree up I wouldn’t even know it was on .Wife’s department until I sit down to the  meal .New grandchild this year so all good .43 presents under the tree and all his name on them .What recession ??.I’ll provide a brace of head shit pheasants to go with the turkey .Might be out all Xmas eve as they are bit sparse locally .

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Up out of bed, morning dog walk,get back for Bacon butties,watch everyone start opening their presents,the Oldman makes an appearance around 9am,with more presents?,I normally drive and collect the mother in law and Mrs grand dad for dinner,but myself,the Mrs and children have been invited to my Mum's this yr for dinner...get there for 1 o'clock,open presents,cards from my brother who's away on his hols till end of January (alright for some)will take a dinner then to mother in law/grand dad, collect more presents,drive home,then probably sit down,have another munch,a big fat spiff and a single malt...try for a Xmas day rub...as it's my birthday in January ?

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Working early doors then home. Just me and the wife for dinner. Last year I took all the family out and it cost a fortune but it was nice to let others take the strain. Later we’ll be going to my daughters to see them and the grand kids. 

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Up about 7 when I finally give in to the missus who has already been up about 3 hours like an excited kid, make a cup of tea then we have to open presents because she can’t contain her excitement after that I make the bacon butties, quick shower, get dressed and then start the 3 course meal she’s told her family they are getting this year, her sister, brother in law, kids, her mam and my mam turn up about 12, I spend the next hour shouting at them to get out my kitchen, about 1:30 I start feeding them, by 3 they are stuffed, sitting in my chair and outstaying their welcome, it’s anyone’s guess what time they’ll fu*k off, love Christmas me ? 

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I'll be up at 4am . I'll wait as long as I can ( probably 4.30am) , then I'll get the kids up and tell them that santa has been , this'll piss them off as they're 27 and 29, and don't live at home ?.  I'll sing Christmas songs and drink baileys until breakfast time at 8am  ish(smoked salmon and scrambled eggs) . The kids will arrive at 9am with my young grandson , then we'll all sing happy birthday to my Lad ( no he's not Jesus,  but he thinks he can walk on water) . He'll spend an hour opening his birthday presents,  then we'll all open our Christmas presents.  At midday , the father in law and brother in law will arrive , then my step son(a chef ?)will cook lunch . After lunch,  I'll fall into a baileys , turkey , and goose coma , and when I wake up , they'll all be gone , and I can get stuck into the cheeses . If I'm still able to move after all the food , I'll get my black powder hammer gun out , and give her a wipe down ready for the boxing day walkabout ?.

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26 minutes ago, Arry said:

 I've invited a single mother and her teenage son to dinner, they are finding it hard at the moment and have f**k all. So going to give them a slap up Christmas Dinner with all the trimming. 

 

Stunning gesture that is mate

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12 hours ago, Arry said:

I will be a happy and sad day. Will start with putting In beef low and slow then cup of tea Wifey and me opening presents bit later a bacon door step Lol. Midmorning my lad and his wife will visit open presents that wifey has spoilt them with I don't mind. 

Then the sad bit we will go up to our only granddaughters grave that we lost 20 months ago leave flowers and a wreath I've started to make.

Lad and his wife still taking it hard at times it was a very rare genetic thing so no more grandchildren unless they adopt. I won't pressure them.

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The bar across the middle will come off, Hazel and red dogwood.

Her middle name was Hazel.

Right enough of the sad.

Back home I will start cooking to eat at 4 o'clock I've invited a single mother and her teenage son to dinner, they are finding it hard at the moment and have f**k all. So going to give them a slap up Christmas Dinner with all the trimming. They are good people and deserve it and it will make our day too.

Then feet up and fire some back my neck Lol.

Any way lads have a very Happy Christmas and New Year to every one of you.

Cheers Arry

 

You are a good man arry.

Fair play to you mate.

And happy Xmas to you and the family ?

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So far I think I have about 9 coming, me misses grand kids sons mate that’s on his own and any other waves and strays that may be lonely are welcome, we will all cook a few bits each then bring it all round mine as I have the biggest boat to eat at the table followed by a day of drinking crying kids and drunken adults I,m guessing I will probably slope off out at some point for an hours quiet on my own with the dogs but recon that’s pretty much how it will be then a big mess to clear up on Boxing Day before starting all over again with the bubble and squeak, ?

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We are too old for all that Fccucking  nonsense and would be happier calling it by it's real name MISERY  and for people  who crave Snow at this time of the year should have their tree pushed up their arses  complete with Lights and Candles ........ preferably  lit .

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Well if the weather is good me and the gf are gonna have a range day with her new .22lr ?

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Been hinting at it for the last two weeks and she's super excited. All she knows so far though is it's a .22 and pink .... Hopefully this keeps her from stealing some of my others ??

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The post as gone now but someone came on and said there was three Rabbits in Leicestershire ... well he needs a pair of Goggles as there is more chance of seeing  a Puma , Cheetah or even old Clarence the Flucking cockeyed  Lion .

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