Guest Lord B Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 (edited) Part 1 Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign! Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke. Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won ' t miss a call from someone we didn ' t want to talk to in the first place. Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink. NOT TO MENTION.. 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts. 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents. 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth. A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth... 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. And finally... In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet. Part 2 The British Solution to Save Petrol Brown wants us to cut the amount of petrol we use...... The best way to stop using so much petrol is to deport 3 million illegal immigrants! That would be 3 million less people using our petrol. The price of petrol would come down..... Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the Channel.... When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Channel, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq .... Tell him if he wants to come to Britain then he must serve a tour in the military.... Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it..... After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country..... He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident..... . This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves.. ..... If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo..... Problem solved..... Edited January 23, 2008 by Lord B Quote Link to post Share on other sites
leegreen 2,153 Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 How very true, surely you didn't make all that up did you? If so Quote Link to post Share on other sites
leegreen 2,153 Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 Sorry second bit was also good except for the last paragraph, it was a bit harsh. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stork 1 Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 Very well thought about very interesting to read and very true well done LorbB you hit the nail on the head. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
night moocher 41 Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 very true. my nephew got petrol bombed in iraq serving a country thats been given away all them so called brits that come over in droves should be made to serve as ours do................... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
harrycatcat 31 Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves.. ..... Perfect solution in my opinion. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MATTI 34 Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 Lord B for Prime Minister Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Coney 3 Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 The trouble is "The Weather is like the Goverment, always in the wrong" well said Lord B. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FUBAR 0 Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 Think Ive read the 1st half somewhere else Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andy s410c 59 Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 Bring back National Service for all.I think once your 18 you should be drafted & serve 3 years in one of the Forces if you refuse just press gang them anyway It done me no harm made me a better person with self respect & respect for your fellow citizens.I dont agree with the immigration policies of this once great country but there is a lot of issues with our own white race on this island you cant just blame immigrants iilegal or not....... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
leegreen 2,153 Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 Bring back National Service for all.I think once your 18 you should be drafted & serve 3 years in one of the Forces if you refuse just press gang them anyway It done me no harm made me a better person with self respect & respect for your fellow citizens.I dont agree with the immigration policies of this once great country but there is a lot of issues with our own white race on this island you cant just blame immigrants iilegal or not.......Dam right get some of those lazy so and so's of their arses and do some thing worth while with their life's. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 Very good! And true... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest WILF Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 Scum comes in all shapes and sizes and speakes many languages..........give me a hard working eastern european who is a family man and a churchgoer over a feral white English wog wannabe anyday .........with their baseball caps and tracky bottoms 3 sizes to small and listening to "gangsta rap".............fecking pricks make me sick!!........ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
john debbage 0 Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 wilf you make me sick.......... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest WILF Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 (edited) Glad to hear it ............little bit close to home for you maybe? Edited January 23, 2008 by WILF Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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