Best man

[WILF 47,353]

3 minutes ago, TOMO said:

i always liked that speech in 4 weddings and a funeral ....the bit where the best man says the bride is so much nicer than his previous girlfriends as they were total dogs....and its so nice to see so many of them here today..lol 

(2) Four Weddings And A Funeral: Pray silence for the best man! - YouTube

No, this is my personal favourite mate !

 

[TOMO 26,480]

yeh its a good one that wilfy

[TOMO 26,480]

2 hours ago, TRUEBRIT66 said:

Dont wish to put you off but I've been best man 7 times now and havent enjoyed 1.

Its easier if you know the audience family etc but start with the usual thanking everyone for coming explain who you are how you are acquainted to the bride and groom. Mention how good the bride and bridesmaid look and what a fantastic day it had been and If you have only hunting in common try to find one or two funny stories and elaborate on those. Try to find something funny out about the bride and finish up by trying to be as serious, complimentary and as sentimental as possible before you get everyone up to toast the bride and groom.  

Google best man speeches to get a idea, I did read somewhere a best man started off by saying he heard the brides mother didnt like swearing so if she would f**k off out of the room before he started that would be great..............you need the right audience for that though!  

7 times ...f**k me your popular....i dont think ive got 7 frends

[Bearfoot 1,477]

It all depends on the gaff 

[WILF 47,353]

3 minutes ago, Bearfoot said:

It all depends on the gaff 

I’m afraid I have to respectfully disagree, the nicest and most sincere wedding of a friend I actually attended was in some horrid registry office in a horrid little town…..it was lovely and moving and sincere, everything a wedding should be.

I could stand in the Sistine chapel but if I have to do with 200 assembled howlers it wouldn’t be wonderful, it would be torture ! 

 

[Qbgrey 4,119]

And we got all the dinlos that have to go to vegas or magaluf etc on the stag do and the hens go some other country. My mate said we’re going to vegas for his stag. I said fuk off am I ,I’d rather take my family on holiday than spend 5000 lording up with you bunch of cnuts

[Gypsydog94 4,607]

6 minutes ago, Qbgrey said:

And we got all the dinlos that have to go to vegas or magaluf etc on the stag do and the hens go some other country. My mate said we’re going to vegas for his stag. I said fuk off am I ,I’d rather take my family on holiday than spend 5000 lording up with you bunch of cnuts

Magaluf shite anyway. I organised simulated clay shooting for his stag great day. 

[WILF 47,353]

One of my closest pals (now divorced) once said to me when talking about his then girlfriend:

”I proposed to her in a hot air balloon”

To which I replied “You should have thrown the horrible c**t out !” 
 

[Greyman 28,819]

Been with the same woman almost 40 years not even engaged, can’t stand weddings, vicars or religion so I,m out had to knock my best mate back when he asked me many moons ago he’s been divorced best part of 20 year now but hey ho each to there own

[Qbgrey 4,119]

I got asked to help out my best mate at his wedding with cars , getting him sorted in the morning , go collect his mum . Loads of jobs like. His brother was his best man so Friday comes( weddings sat) we all go out drinking and yup me and the best man got detained in the nick let out at 4.30 am sat morn. By Jesus she went fuking mental

[mushroom 13,186]

Attack her family, friends and shitcunt pet (should she have any of the three). Mention ya mate got wanked off in some gritty nightclub once. Get leathered, piss on the cake and try to finger bang all the bridesmaids  If you choose this option, please please make sure it’s recorded and upload the video on here

or

You could be boring and say what a wonderful friend he is and how nice it is to have every here who think the same about this lovely couple yaddy yaddy ya. Just keep it short and you’ll be laughing

[Qbgrey 4,119]

All a load of bollox. Expensive hotel , food , drink etc. it’s the norm now like America to have the biggest best wedding or birthday for the photos and selfie brigade to plaster thier fake tan and shop eyebrows and pouting lips all over the web. In my eyes it’s a marquee in my field, mates do the hog roast. Local vicar turns up on his Harley with cigar in mouth( true person) does the deed then bang straight into ozzy,maiden ,thin lizzy etc etc

[forest of dean redneck 11,686]

8 minutes ago, mushroom said:

Attack her family, friends and shitcunt pet (should she have any of the three). Mention ya mate got wanked off in some gritty nightclub once. Get leathered, piss on the cake and try to finger bang all the bridesmaids  If you choose this option, please please make sure it’s recorded and upload the video on here

or

You could be boring and say what a wonderful friend he is and how nice it is to have every here who think the same about this lovely couple yaddy yaddy ya. Just keep it short and you’ll be laughing

How did the first one go for you ?

[mushroom 13,186]

23 minutes ago, forest of dean redneck said:

How did the first one go for you ?

Woke up covered in cake with banging hangover, a black eye, and a smelly hand

[TRUEBRIT66 1,613]

15 hours ago, TOMO said:

7 times ...f**k me your popular....i dont think ive got 7 frends

Nope Im not I can assure you but I have 3 brothers (I'm the oldest), 2 brother in laws, 1 best and only real mate, and my sons which was the greatest honour I have had bestowed on me. To be the father of the groom and knowing he feels I'm his best mate (and probably because we ended up paying for most of it and he felt he had to give some sort of payback).