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2 hours ago, DIDO.1 said:

I did a flea spray this morning then fcked it for the day and went fishing, now I'm meeting our kid for a quick pint, then I'll take my lad boxing.

We all define 'rich' in different ways šŸ‘ŒšŸ˜

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Said for years earning money buys you time, which is priceless.. great stuff mateĀ 

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17 minutes ago, Greyman said:

Cheers for that if I need to reinvent myself again in the future sometime I,ll come back as an agile coach thanks for the heads up lolĀ 

Ā :laugh:Ā 

Youā€™ll make more if you write a book aswell lol

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16 minutes ago, NEWKID said:

Said for years earning money buys you time, which is priceless.. great stuff mateĀ 

My saying EXACTLY,cash buys you time and opportunity,paper is freedom tokens.

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6 hours ago, mushroom said:

Some of the coders I've worked with/hired are on big big bucks. A mate is earning easily close to a Mil ā‚¬ a year going into big companies and reforming their IT teams to make them more efficient... He moved to Andorra for the max 10% tax bracket lol.. If they are able to go it alone and invoice the clients/companies they'll end up much better off, more so if they move to a low tax country ;)

If the fat little c**t starts earning a million sovs he can give me some of it so I donā€™t do him in !Ā 

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3 hours ago, DIDO.1 said:

I did a flea spray this morning then fcked it for the day and went fishing, now I'm meeting our kid for a quick pint, then I'll take my lad boxing.

We all define 'rich' in different ways šŸ‘ŒšŸ˜

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I did the same last week and went tivvy. Enjoy having flexible work and a better boss who doesnā€™t worry. Worth more then a extra pound or twoĀ 

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6 minutes ago, TOMO said:

Please tell me I'm not the only one that has no clue what Born and mushroom were talking about..

What you need is an agile coach Ā by the sound of thingsĀ 

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3 hours ago, TOMO said:

Please tell me I'm not the only one that has no clue what Born and mushroom were talking about..

project management speak matƩ.

best run some of those terms past your own ā€œScrum Master ā€œ to see how that goes down buddy .Ā 

the reality is most PMs I know spend most of the day on two different blowers , end up doing most of the other peoples jobs for them and end up getting malleted as soon as the project is finished . Proper cut throat industry where everyone pulls theirĀ wages , figures and earnings out of their arse .Ā 
Ā 

fair play if you can make a good wage at it .Ā 

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30 minutes ago, THE STIFFMEISTER said:

project management speak matƩ.

best run some of those terms past your own ā€œScrum Master ā€œ to see how that goes down buddy .Ā 

the reality is most PMs I know spend most of the day on two different blowers , end up doing most of the other peoples jobs for them and end up getting malleted as soon as the project is finished . Proper cut throat industry where everyone pulls theirĀ wages , figures and earnings out of their arse .Ā 
Ā 

fair play if you can make a good wage at it .Ā 

The best project managers I met met were women and and only about half of those were any good, the blokes were normally tossers doing nothing more than handing out spread sheets and time lines but without an actual clue of how projects have to fit together in reality.

A normal conversation would be along the lines of:

PM:

ā€X amount of kit will arrive on X amount of 40ft lorryā€™s at X time every evening for 14 daysā€Ā 

Me:

ā€Whoā€™s doing the transport and whatā€™s their contact number, I donā€™t want to have 10 blokes standing around doing nothing while the driver has egg & chips in a cafe on the M20ā€Ā 

PM:

ā€The manufacturers are arranging that and they have assured me itā€™s all sorted, no problemā€

Me:

ā€Itā€™s never all sorted and when they go home and 4:30 they donā€™t care, give me the number of the person at the manufacture and Iā€™ll talk to themā€

PM:

ā€It will be fine, they have assured meā€

Me:

ā€Iā€™ll repeat, itā€™s never all fine, just give me their details, I need to know everyone and their contacts at every step so I can make sure your job gets done on timeā€

PM:

ā€Iā€™ll email them tomorrow and double check, but itā€™s all fineā€

Me:

ā€Iā€™ll just fly out there and see them myselfā€Ā 

Absolute amateurs the lot of them in my experienceā€¦ā€¦when it gos boss eyed they normally have a confused look and the excuse of ā€œwell I emailed and sent the spreadsheet ?!ā€

Yeah, but you didnā€™t make sure and then make sure again did you ya f***ing idiot !Ā 
These people have caused me no end of extra hours in my life because I never let other people break my promises and I canā€™t stand excuses.Ā 
Ā 

Women ( when you get a good one)Ā Ā I found are much better at the role, they let people who know get on with their job, are open to advice and collate and deliver information well so that everyone knows who, what, how and when.

Ā 

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27 minutes ago, WILF said:

The best project managers I met met were women and and only about half of those were any good, the blokes were normally tossers doing nothing more than handing out spread sheets and time lines but without an actual clue of how projects have to fit together in reality.

A normal conversation would be along the lines of:

PM:

ā€X amount of kit will arrive on X amount of 40ft lorryā€™s at X time every evening for 14 daysā€Ā 

Me:

ā€Whoā€™s doing the transport and whatā€™s their contact number, I donā€™t want to have 10 blokes standing around doing nothing while the driver has egg & chips in a cafe on the M20ā€Ā 

PM:

ā€The manufacturers are arranging that and they have assured me itā€™s all sorted, no problemā€

Me:

ā€Itā€™s never all sorted and when they go home and 4:30 they donā€™t care, give me the number of the person at the manufacture and Iā€™ll talk to themā€

PM:

ā€It will be fine, they have assured meā€

Me:

ā€Iā€™ll repeat, itā€™s never all fine, just give me their details, I need to know everyone and their contacts at every step so I can make sure your job gets done on timeā€

PM:

ā€Iā€™ll email them tomorrow and double check, but itā€™s all fineā€

Me:

ā€Iā€™ll just fly out there and see them myselfā€Ā 

Absolute amateurs the lot of them in my experienceā€¦ā€¦when it gos boss eyed they normally have a confused look and the excuse of ā€œwell I emailed and sent the spreadsheet ?!ā€

Yeah, but you didnā€™t make sure and then make sure again did you ya f***ing idiot !Ā 
These people have caused me no end of extra hours in my life because I never let other people break my promises and I canā€™t stand excuses.Ā 
Ā 

Women ( when you get a good one)Ā Ā I found are much better at the role, they let people who know get on with their job, are open to advice and collate and deliver information well so that everyone knows who, what, how and when.

Ā 

Not sure I'd really call that project management tbh. That sounds more a business as usual activity. What's the output? I mean a PM would do that as part of an actual project if there wasn't a dedicated team member to handle logistics but it's not exactly representing the value that a PM really brings to an organisation.

Not that I'm a project manager but the best ones are experts at stakeholder management. I see it all of the time where directors/VPs are completely misaligned, team members too afraid to voice concerns over feasibility etc etc. Stakeholder managementĀ and discipline are all there is too it at it's core. They have a sixth sense for risk too.

I suspect we're talking about two very different professionals really.

Edited by Born Hunter
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Basic explanation of an IT project
Ā 

product - new website

Stakeholders - the business managers/hierarchyĀ who want the new website


PO - product owner, responsible for ensuring the stakeholder requirements are handed to the SM correctly and to follow the projects development.

SM - scrum master, responsible as a buffer between the hierarchy +Ā PO and the dev team. Also a team lead/coach

Dev team - bunch of twats who create the damn website.

SCRUM -Ā methodologyĀ for managing projects. Breaking them down into parts that can be completed in 2 week sprints. Thereā€™s a hell of a lot more into it but thatā€™s the crux

AGILE - methodology above SCRUM that can incorporate other methodologies such as Kanban, Prince 2, SAFEĀ etc. correctly,Ā AGILE shouldĀ be the whole theĀ company and should (in theory) start with the hierarchy. In IT the CIO for example.

Edited by mushroom
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And yesĀ it means to be agile lol. So being open and able to adapt and adjust toĀ changes in a project. Putting certain things to the side to tackle a more important task. For example the website needs an extra button that maybe allows clients to get direct access to sales and the hierarchy only thought it would be a good idea halfway through the project.

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6 hours ago, mushroom said:

Basic explanation of an IT project
Ā 

product - new website

Stakeholders - the business managers/hierarchyĀ who want the new website


PO - product owner, responsible for ensuring the stakeholder requirements are handed to the SM correctly and to follow the projects development.

SM - scrum master, responsible as a buffer between the hierarchy +Ā PO and the dev team. Also a team lead/coach

Dev team - bunch of twats who create the damn website.

SCRUM -Ā methodologyĀ for managing projects. Breaking them down into parts that can be completed in 2 week sprints. Thereā€™s a hell of a lot more into it but thatā€™s the crux

AGILE - methodology above SCRUM that can incorporate other methodologies such as Kanban, Prince 2, SAFEĀ etc. correctly,Ā AGILE shouldĀ be the whole theĀ company and should (in theory) start with the hierarchy. In IT the CIO for example.

Still none the wiser but I do know all the IT blokes on our IT jobs are right wanky types

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