Born Hunter 17,809 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 (edited) It's really quite something, a 30 year old man who looks in decent shape, stood by the side of the pool in swim shorts clutching goggles, wishing the little f***ing three year old girl/dolphin on the lesson before would hurry the f**k up and get out so he can jump in and start his lesson and hide from everyone looking at him! Even worse when your regular instructor is away and you have a subby... you walk to the pool hoping the little shit three year old is finished to save dithering like a prat, only to see a room full of total randomers. Then you have to awkwardly sort of figure out who the f**k is having you! "God let today be the day I drown!" Did I mention how great it is? Edited February 9, 2022 by Born Hunter 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bosun11 537 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 2 minutes ago, Born Hunter said: It's really quite something, a 30 year old man who looks in decent shape, stood by the side of the pool in swim shorts clutching goggles, wishing the little f***ing three year old girl/dolphin on the lesson before would hurry the f**k up and get out so he can jump in and start his lesson and hide from everyone looking at him! Even worse when your regular instructor is away and you have a subby... you walk to the pool hoping the little shit three year old is finished to save dithering like a prat, only to see a room full of total randomers. Then you have to awkwardly sort of figure out who the f**k is having you! "God let today be the day I drown!" Did I mention how great it is? In 'most' pools, mine being one of them, adult lessons are held either much later than the kids ones, or during term times on adult only sessions. For the reasons above..! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Borr 6,399 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 4 minutes ago, Neal said: I was the first person to leave my junior school without even a width certificate...my brother was the second the following year. I learnt by having lessons when I was twenty five but, as swimming pools are so expensive to visit I've hardly done any more in the intervening twenty eight years. I've always blamed the fact that my stepdad made my watch Jaws at a young age...I was even a bit scared to sit on a toilet for weeks in case my arse was bitten by a great white and I still feel nervous around water. It's crazy the effect TV can have on the mind , I sat and watched jaws with my mum when I was about four , apparently told her don't worry it's only ketchup lol. But if I'm out in deep water or above weed beds I start getting sharks in my head lol, I had a couple of beers on a beach once and went for a cool down , I was bobbing around when a lilo tumbled past , anyways I'd swim towards it and it would tumble on blown by the wind. I turned around and could barely see the beach , and to top it off started imagining sharks below, that was a long fast swim, tbh cramp kills more people than sharks especially in the med my father was in Saudi and specifically didn't watch jaws when it came out ,as he was swimming in the sea every day.... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Born Hunter 17,809 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 1 minute ago, Bosun11 said: In 'most' pools, mine being one of them, adult lessons are held either much later than the kids ones, or during term times on adult only sessions. For the reasons above..! I imagine it does hurt profits but then again maybe the one I was using had enough business not to care. I might have even said I didn't care to get a convenient time come to think of it. I quite like moments in life where you just have to swallow your pride and look a prat tbh! Still, I would be waiting in the changing cubical thing clock watching, refusing to leave a second before my slot. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kanny 20,724 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 21 minutes ago, Neal said: I've always blamed the fact that my stepdad made my watch Jaws at a young age... Even as a seasoned swimmer whenever I'm in deep water that tune still pops in my head 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gypsydog94 4,614 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 I used to swim twice a week in the pool then surf once a week with school. Done my surf lifesaving etc but never done much swimming since. Even when on holiday never really bothered with swimming. But been taking my 18 month daughter every now and then and she loves it splashing about so will be getting back into not by choice 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kanny 20,724 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear. I think that's a good quote for this thread 2 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bosun11 537 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 1 hour ago, kanny said: Everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear. I think that's a good quote for this thread Love that quote Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 47,587 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 I have always loved the water but to this day I can’t swim to save my life, I can manage about 5 yds on the surface before I sink like a stone ! My wife is like “everyone floats”…..nope, not me, my legs must be filled with lead because they have always sunk even today when I’m carrying more blubber than a sperm whale ! But none of that keeps me out the water, from age 13 in gravel pits bird nesting to adulthood and the sea and pool, love it ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
albert64 1,882 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Water is for washing and drinking I taught my self to swim when I left school, school swimming lessons were a f***ing nightmare some twat with a stick about 6” out of reach shouting reach for the stick while your swallowing half the f***ing baths the twat but had my kids in the swimming pool from a few mths old both are very good swimmers my lad passed everything done his lifeguard certificate scuba dived picked to swim for Manchester but wanted to be the next Ronaldo instead, to watch the confidence they have in water something I never had is brilliant Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 47,587 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 2 minutes ago, albert64 said: Water is for washing and drinking I taught my self to swim when I left school, school swimming lessons were a f***ing nightmare some twat with a stick about 6” out of reach shouting reach for the stick while your swallowing half the f***ing baths the twat but had my kids in the swimming pool from a few mths old both are very good swimmers my lad passed everything done his lifeguard certificate scuba dived picked to swim for Manchester but wanted to be the next Ronaldo instead, to watch the confidence they have in water something I never had is brilliant I hear you mate, we used to get herded on to the ILEA bus and carted off to some piss hole swimming baths in South London that was probably harbouring more bacteria than a germ warfare lab, then the old bird “instructor” with a fag dangling out her chops and a long bamboo stick that waited until your were on the cusp of death until she scruffed you out by your ear…….f***ing magical ! No wonder I can’t swim looking back on this early times in a pool ! Lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mackem 27,482 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Newcastle Road baths as a kid,stunk of chlorine, your eyes went red like a crack-heads after 5 minutes in the water, diving for rubber bricks and swimming in a hoop on the end of the long pole guided by the teacher, never enjoyed it, much preferred messing about in the river. Both my kids are far better swimmers, one has dived with a few species of shark, the other has been diving since around 15,and scared me a little when he made a hookah airline system to walk around on the seabed. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Born Hunter 17,809 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 1 minute ago, W. Katchum said: I could swim like fcuk when I was younger, took kids couple years ago an went up diving boards dived in, great, kids were well impressed, but by fcuk was it hard work swimming, i ached in parts I forgot I had, in end I was happy playing about on spring boards an diving boards, cos the swim to side in that little pool was just about doable said to missus there an then that I’m gonna start swimming a couple morning a week, purely for fitness, but then lock down come, might have to go again to make me realise how old I actually am an make me pull finger out again The pump/workout I used to get from half an hour of swimming was great. Used to climb out the pool and feel amazing head to toe. Triceps, chest, shoulders, quads, core, everything was blasted. But when you watch a good swimmer do lengths it's just effortless, like laws of nature defying. That workout I got was because it was not effortless, LOL. God I wish I was Aquaman. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kanny 20,724 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 still got it 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
micky 3,325 Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 All my kids started to swim in the same pool in Spain , two arm bands then one and away they went ! it was easy over there in the sunshine and there were lots kids to copy . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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