have people given up being parents?

[tatsblisters 10,718]

1 minute ago, Greyman said:

Sadly I,ve been involved in social services from quite a young age my daughter now deals with them on a very regular basis in her professional career and the biggest problem is they drive Citroen Diane’s, wear socks and sandals, eat chick peas and are generally wet lettuce lefties like yourself that don’t have a clue about the people they are meant to protect, they work to targets made up in dreams we’re as life and reality can be a nightmare, they will never up there game until they get people that are not afraid to call a spade a spade and stop working towards left wing ideology, sorry but there is the truth of it social services is a total waste of space and should be scrapped and started again  

I honestly think Sandy and you are both right in your comments and tbh i have never dealt with social services or social worker's my views are based on what i have heard from the victims of CSE that happened in Rotherham and those social worker's who could have nipped it in the bud are the very people you describe Greyman.

[SheepChaser 8,089]

The way we work with children is a fascinating subject. Most countries who get it right take a pedagogical approach. We don’t.  

[WILF 48,399]

“A village raises a child”……..

I don’t think you can pin the failure of huge swathes of our children on just one thing.

You can’t  just “throw more money at it” or use it as a political tool (which we have done far too much for far too long with our children) ……again, both the main party’s that have been in office are to blame……as are we for buying into the twisted model they have promoted !

To do right by kids will require a fundamental cultural shift….nothing less will do it.

For far to long there have been too many family who have been actively encouraged  to bin their problems off to a school or an agency, there have been far too many family’s forced to have two parents out at work with ends barely meeting every week, far too many families who don’t have the time to put into their kids, an acceptance of kids having kids themselves barely equipped with the tools of life to manage themselves never mind kids.

We are now 2nd and 3rd generation broken society families who just don’t know and have never seen how to do it better !

There is nothing to encourage them to do it better anyway, the fabric of society is an outdated concept, anything gos, responsibility and consequence have no meaning, it’s much too hard to “do it right” in country where doing it right seems to win you nothing. 
 

The howling is normal, there’s no sense of who you are and where you come from as a marker to live by.

The 3rd world is held up and promoted as something to aspire too.

It requires a multi faceted and fundamentally different approach if we are to do our young some justice ! 
 

Telling people they are shit and making it very hard to be better isn’t helping !

Smashing our culture and our identity isn’t helping !

Robbing them blind to go to university while importing people to do the jobs our young went to university to get isn’t helping !

Regarding degradation as normal isn’t helping !

Telling parents they only need to look at an OFSTED score instead of getting actively involved with their child’s formative years isn’t helping !

Creating policy based of dreams and social engineering instead of reality isn’t helping ! 
 

I could go on and on……

jmho 

 

Edited December 20, 2021 by WILF

[WILF 48,399]

I remember when I was still in England there was a little lad in my boys year, they would have been about 6 or 7 at the time.

His parents also had a new baby, the parents were absolute mongoloids…..it wasn’t their fault, they were young themselves and you could see they just didn’t know and so obviously hadn’t been given the tools to be better.

There we’re loads like them in my area….they wasn’t a one off and so they wasn’t an accident…..they can only be the result of a wider disease.

I remember picking my wife up from a governor meeting and this little lad was in the back of his grans car waiting to go into a special unit at the school where my wife was a governor.

Im nearly in tears writing this now but I have never seen a little child look so sad, he looked at me out the back of that car and it’s an image that will forever be scarred on my heart…..god know where he is or what became of that poor little boy, a little boy the same age as my little boy at the time, who only wanted to play little games with his friends and be safe and happy and innocent.

He had old man’s eyes…….

We should just stop all the f***ing nonsense and make sure that can’t happen…..ever !

Edited December 20, 2021 by WILF

[Greyman 30,153]

3 hours ago, chartpolski said:

There are plenty of prospective foster applications, but many simply give up because of the bureaucracy and the political correctness.

Cheers.

Mate I,ve also been down the foster route, as in I tried to become a foster parent, not only is the bureaucracy bad but as I said the people in the system are so wet it’s incredible, the first person to interview me was a very attractive lady that I quickly fell out with when she tried to explain how here white middle class children were being helped in life by sending them to a school in St. Paul’s a predominantly black, prostitute riddled gun and drug crime capital of Bristol, unfortunately I told her her duty was to protect her children and having them beaten up and there dinner money stolen on a daily basis wasn’t helping them, they had no interest in the fact I came from the gutter and put three children through every educational facility I could and all of them have gone on to have good jobs be high earners and never had to experience the shit I did as a kid or have any of them ever fallen foul of the law, I class my self as a success and would be a better role moldel for a lot of troubled kids having seen it from all sides than some of the dicks that do end up with these kids but can’t relate to them in any way, the blame for all these failed kids falls at the feet of the social workers as I said they live in cloud cuckoo land and generally come from privileged back grounds were helping the peasants is a hobby and not a way of life,

[SheepChaser 8,089]

2 minutes ago, Greyman said:

Mate I,ve also been down the foster route, as in I tried to become a foster parent, not only is the bureaucracy bad but as I said the people in the system are so wet it’s incredible, the first person to interview me was a very attractive lady that I quickly fell out with when she tried to explain how here white middle class children were being helped in life by sending them to a school in St. Paul’s a predominantly black, prostitute riddled gun and drug crime capital of Bristol, unfortunately I told her her duty was to protect her children and having them beaten up and there dinner money stolen on a daily basis wasn’t helping them, they had no interest in the fact I came from the gutter and put three children through every educational facility I could and all of them have gone on to have good jobs be high earners and never had to experience the shit I did as a kid or have any of them ever fallen foul of the law, I class my self as a success and would be a better role moldel for a lot of troubled kids having seen it from all sides than some of the dicks that do end up with these kids but can’t relate to them in any way, the blame for all these failed kids falls at the feet of the social workers as I said they live in cloud cuckoo land and generally come from privileged back grounds were helping the peasants is a hobby and not a way of life,

Many good points and a few massive and unfair generalisations. 

[WILF 48,399]

Ideology trumps sense……the end result is, we all loose !

[Greyman 30,153]

6 minutes ago, SheepChaser said:

Many good points and a few massive and unfair generalisations. 

Mate I,m not generalising, I first fell into the social services radar at about 12 and have been let down by them on every occasion, my daughter is dealing with a 15 year old school girl that has had a child a still being raped while these c**ts sit by and come out with excuses every time they are asked for help, I say things as I see them might upset a few but it’s how I am and in over 40 years I cannot remember one good or helpful course of action from them so no, after I had shot every mp and  south hams hunter I’d turn fire on all of these pricks as well complete waste of money

[SheepChaser 8,089]

Wilf is correct (in my opinion and that of many other switched on social thinkers). Essentially we need a systematic change to how we conceptualise children and young people and work with them. Our entire social care system is structured around archaic and damaging ways of thinking of children. Across all of Europe they mostly adopt a different approach.

Social Pedagogy - ThemPra Social Pedagogy

WWW.THEMPRA.ORG.UK

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Social pedagogy is based on principles around holistic learning and well-being. Here we provide...

 

[SheepChaser 8,089]

4 minutes ago, Greyman said:

Mate I,m not generalising, I first fell into the social services radar at about 12 and have been let down by them on every occasion, my daughter is dealing with a 15 year old school girl that has had a child a still being raped while these c**ts sit by and come out with excuses every time they are asked for help, I say things as I see them might upset a few but it’s how I am and in over 40 years I cannot remember one good or helpful course of action from them so no, after I had shot every mp and  south hams hunter I’d turn fire on all of these pricks as well complete waste of money

The only thing I was questioning was -

— the entire blame for all failed children lies at the feet of social workers.

- all social workers come from privileged backgrounds. 
 

Don’t get me wrong there is so much with the system which is crap and so many muppets. But it is a complex picture sadly not one thing to sort out and not all social workers are privileged and uselsss.   

[sandymere 8,263]

4 hours ago, chartpolski said:

There are plenty of prospective foster applications, but many simply give up because of the bureaucracy and the political correctness.

Cheers.

Most of the application management is undertaken by private companies and charities these days,  they get paid for each successful application.  It is an in depth process with lots of checks which is as it should be. Even so so dodgy people get through and making it easier would make it easier for them.  Having a distressed child brought to your home and trying to deal with the destruction wrought on then is much harder than the selection process,  if people drop out because its to difficult then their not committed enough for the reality of what they are trying to sign up for. 

[WILF 48,399]

In its most basic form, handing a kid over in infants and saying “Please return me a rocket scientist while I f**k off to work for the next 12 years to pay government to make things less safe” is disgusting ! 
 

Price for everything, value for nothing…..we have to change that equation ! 

[SheepChaser 8,089]

I’ve spent a fair amount of time in and around different social services and youth projects in different countries including our own. Unfortunately a lot of things which make other countries stuff work we would be fundamentally opposed to. Like physical contact with children in your professional care (not as a foster parent) and many other things. The basis of all of our issues comes back to how we conceptualise children and how our system has been structured around this. Our schooling system is the same. 

[mushroom 13,574]

11 minutes ago, SheepChaser said:

I’ve spent a fair amount of time in and around different social services and youth projects in different countries including our own. Unfortunately a lot of things which make other countries stuff work we would be fundamentally opposed to. Like physical contact with children in your professional care (not as a foster parent) and many other things. The basis of all of our issues comes back to how we conceptualise children and how our system has been structured around this. Our schooling system is the same. 

Not going into this too much but you’re right about close contact etc.

Here in Spain, kids are loved. It’s not unusual for random strangers to talk to kids and interact with them. Kids will actively go up to people. I get it all the time, some random persons kid realises I speak English and they want to sit on ya knee and chat away
 

Used to freak me out tbh, now I’m just used to it. It’s like our Jess. When she comes over, everyone is kissing her cheeks and sitting her down, treating her like a family member. 

[chartpolski 25,835]

43 minutes ago, Greyman said:

Mate I,ve also been down the foster route, as in I tried to become a foster parent, not only is the bureaucracy bad but as I said the people in the system are so wet it’s incredible, the first person to interview me was a very attractive lady that I quickly fell out with when she tried to explain how here white middle class children were being helped in life by sending them to a school in St. Paul’s a predominantly black, prostitute riddled gun and drug crime capital of Bristol, unfortunately I told her her duty was to protect her children and having them beaten up and there dinner money stolen on a daily basis wasn’t helping them, they had no interest in the fact I came from the gutter and put three children through every educational facility I could and all of them have gone on to have good jobs be high earners and never had to experience the shit I did as a kid or have any of them ever fallen foul of the law, I class my self as a success and would be a better role moldel for a lot of troubled kids having seen it from all sides than some of the dicks that do end up with these kids but can’t relate to them in any way, the blame for all these failed kids falls at the feet of the social workers as I said they live in cloud cuckoo land and generally come from privileged back grounds were helping the peasants is a hobby and not a way of life,

Exactly ! Some wet behind the ears, left wing indoctrinated, youngster, straight out of some second rate university, clutching their sociology degree, with no life experience, making, literally, life or death decisions for children. 

And their bosses on huge salaries who never take responsibility, but utter platitudes like "lessons will be learned" or retire with their huge pension and golden handshakes, just to pop up at some other council a few months later, doing the same job !

Cheers.