Ken's Deputy 4,460 Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Just cut my forty five foot cotoneaster hedge. Both sides, and the top. Bought a lovely little Bosch electric trimmer, last year. Gave the heavy, noisy, filthy stinking petrol driven thing away. This Bosch burger's fukking fantastic! A half fit woman could get on with it. Light. Easy to handle. Don't even feel the need for ear defenders. It's just, I forgot: I'm Not fukking Nineteen any more!!! I don't even Know how long I've been out there. Four hours? There appears to be almost as much hedge on the floor now as what there is standing. Made a fair job of it though. Fussy fukker. But, my fukking God!!! Now that I've calmed down from the adrenalin and aggression fuelled attack on the fukking thing? I feel like I've stood in for Sir Henry Coopers fukking punch bag for a few hours! I fukking Ache to my very Soul!!! Standing up is a massive issue. Sitting here, the weight of my skin and bones dragging down, limply, on themselves hurts. God. I am So fukked! (Wonder how much professional hedge cutters charge?) 3 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Netmaker 909 Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Got our's to do so don't know why I am laughing 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shaaark 10,828 Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 14 minutes ago, Ken's Deputy said: Just cut my forty five foot cotoneaster hedge. Both sides, and the top. Bought a lovely little Bosch electric trimmer, last year. Gave the heavy, noisy, filthy stinking petrol driven thing away. This Bosch burger's fukking fantastic! A half fit woman could get on with it. Light. Easy to handle. Don't even feel the need for ear defenders. It's just, I forgot: I'm Not fukking Nineteen any more!!! I don't even Know how long I've been out there. Four hours? There appears to be almost as much hedge on the floor now as what there is standing. Made a fair job of it though. Fussy fukker. But, my fukking God!!! Now that I've calmed down from the adrenalin and aggression fuelled attack on the fukking thing? I feel like I've stood in for Sir Henry Coopers fukking punch bag for a few hours! I fukking Ache to my very Soul!!! Standing up is a massive issue. Sitting here, the weight of my skin and bones dragging down, limply, on themselves hurts. God. I am So fukked! (Wonder how much professional hedge cutters charge?) Yeah, but just think of the mental stress you've saved yourself, compared to your chick pea, plastic storage box conundrum. By the way, how's that going? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,460 Posted June 30, 2021 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Sent for a pair of 10 litre chick pea soaking boxes Gonna soak me some Serious fukking peas! Saying that though? One of these boxes will be for my chapati flour. I have a 5 Kg sack of that, sitting out in the kitchen. I need to make some more rotis. Bang a curry in too. Only, right now? I just feel like crawling onto my futon and shutting my eyes! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lenmcharristar 9,808 Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 So we await your name on socks page then?? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kanny 20,618 Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Roll a fat one ,you'll be rate 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TOMO 26,231 Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 38 minutes ago, Ken's Deputy said: Sent for a pair of 10 litre chick pea soaking boxes Gonna soak me some Serious fukking peas! Saying that though? One of these boxes will be for my chapati flour. I have a 5 Kg sack of that, sitting out in the kitchen. I need to make some more rotis. Bang a curry in too. Only, right now? I just feel like crawling onto my futon and shutting my eyes! futon.....f***ing futon.....fucks sake......f***ing yuppie 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,460 Posted June 30, 2021 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 46 minutes ago, Lenmcharristar said: So we await your name on socks page then?? I don't feel too far off it! 7 minutes ago, kanny said: Roll a fat one ,you'll be rate I should be so lucky! Gave up smoking years ago. Tried to buy some of those jelly baby things off someone on here a while ago? Moment I mentioned an escrow deal? He back peddled away beyond the horizon 7 minutes ago, TOMO said: futon.....f***ing futon.....fucks sake......f***ing yuppie Don't knock it, Tomo! Couple of decades ago, having slept on the floor as long as I could remember, I came across a place calling itself " The Bed Shop ". God knows why, but, completely spontaneously, I rushed in and said: " You're a fukking bed shop. Sell me a bed! " After a few words, he suggested a futon. I, or course ~ probably much like you? ~ scoffed that those things were no more than a fukking quilt thrown over a pallet. I'd seen the shit when the 'fashion' broke, about forty odd years ago. Utter fukking rubbish, for fools. Yeah? Nah. Twenty minutes later, I owned a futon. And I've had one ever since. It's the next best thing to sleeping on the meadow. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,802 Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Did my hedge last week, 2 hours, drained lol Cheers, D. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,460 Posted June 30, 2021 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Walking around now, D. Like mild sciatica, right up my entire left leg! WTF was I thinking of?! We need to realise, mate; It might be time to shell out some cash to some much younger buck. Sit back and watch the savage breeze through it, before high tailing it to their next job. This much pain's not worth fifty fukking quid! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
low plains drifter 10,592 Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Had an agency contact me earlier, ongoing gardening contract, I don't need a job, send me your details, I'll pass them on, could be just the ticket to the great futon in the sky Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,460 Posted June 30, 2021 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Thanks for the kind consideration, LPD. But, I think I'll just make do with my pension. I'm not saying gardening's not for older folk. Just not for those who have to go at everything like a Pit Bull in a china shop! Thank fukk I have this nice quality futon to rest my poor bones on, tonight. Otherwise, I'd be outside, on the ground. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jeemes 4,484 Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Been in this business many years. The majority of men whether big small or young cannot keep garden work up at a pace, 5 days a week for more than a few weeks, most in fact are days or hours. Hedge cutting with a petrol hedge cutter is one of the hardest tasks, and only the strongest can do it days on end at a good pace that will earn money. Unfortunately the electric trimmers dont last long enough before a recharge and the long reach too heavy at the cutting end, so its still petrol for most contractors. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,460 Posted June 30, 2021 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 24 minutes ago, jeemes said: Hedge cutting with a petrol hedge cutter is one of the hardest tasks Jeemes; I used to take two or more days, just handling my own, vile, little hedge with that stinking dumb bell of a thing! Hoisting it up, face level. Trying to keep it straight, as it clattered away deafeningly and belched noxious shit into my face? Fukk That!!! No. Thing I have now is a plug in. Fukking Great, actually! I mean; For a skinny old fart to fukk about with a few yards of hedge, once a year, that is! I absolutely doubt it would Take a full days cutting! No Fukking Way! It'd blow up! So would my heart though! But, yeah; Think I remember it cost me around the sixty quid mark? Something like that. Cut my hedge last year. Just done it again. Fukking paid for itself! All bonus from here on in then It's my fukking Spine now though. How Anyone could do that shit, day after day, for a living?! No. Just fukking NO! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnipper 6,484 Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Hedge cutting at this time of year boys tut tut tut. 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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