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3 hours ago, jok said:

For what it’s worth. Net of onions /shallots. 2 big bowls. Decent knife. Wife out of the house. Not recommended in the lounge. Top and tail the bulbs totally skinning them. They end up in one of the bowls with all the husks/skins in the other. Cover in cold water and generously salt. Split chillis are an option but these can be added to the storage jars. Leave for at least 24 hours. Sterilise your jars. Completely drain the bulbs and transfer to the jars. I use spiced malt vinegar to top up the jars. Put them away for at least 6 weeks then enjoy. How could it be easier? Jok.

Thank you 👍

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7 hours ago, ditchman said:

my story is not sexual ...its more about my health and wellbeing at that time

Come on then , let's have the gruesome details 😁

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4 hours ago, mel b said:

Wait until after I've eaten my tea 😄😄😄

Well...........my hate of olives goes wayback to my teens when me mam and dad got fed up with me at home and packed me off to the south of france bloody grape picking.......are you with me so far ?

so we piled onto a bus to Paris and booked into a squat called Le maison de jeauns...on the Left bank...which for them in the know is full of bleedin communists...i kept me head down and chomped on the local food....(which was stange to say the least).................the long and short of it ....i got quite ill very quickly and a doctor was sent for and gave me pills....and they were big pills....and thro the wonder of sign language he explained to me these pills were to be inserted in my anus :icon_eek:

i was too ill to care although i was quite surprised to hear this was normal practice for the bloody garlic munchers...

        Anyway i stuffed them up me arse......and to my great surprise they worked super quick as (so i was told) they were absorbed much quicker thro the lining of the rectum.....damned clever the jonny foreigners

So we were bused to Gare du Nord and borded a train for the south of france......got there 8 hours later ...booked into the Maison de jeuns...and me and my mate Bernard found a little pub called Chez Evette and went on the lash.......we were served with several cut meats and shed loads of differant olives ...every colour you could think of and some were stuffed with god knows what....and we gobbled them down like bloody smarties.....the drink we were served with looked like fermented yaks milk tasted of urine and smelt of anniseed............AND GET THIS it became flouresant under the UV disco lights..........

fast foward to the morning......and i tell you now...i had the worst hangover in the history of being on the tonk ever..and i needed to feel better...

now my mum being sensible and knowing i could "over do" it  had packed in my rucksack a tin of Andrews Liver salts...so armed with the sucess of anal medication in Paris....i pushed a heaped spoonful of aforsaid Andrews liver salts (and added a bit more to allow for wastage) up me ole harris.....

The science behind this desision was sound but the outcome was truly disarsterous.....i scuttled to the concrete hole in the floor toilet....squatted and did a superb impression of a NASA Saturn 5 rocket on lift off.....the partally disolved olives came out like .45 calibre Thompson machine gun on full auto....followed by and effervesant explosive brown mist

 

and thats why i dont like olives..:big_boss:

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5 minutes ago, ditchman said:

Well...........my hate of olives goes wayback to my teens when me mam and dad got fed up with me at home and packed me off to the south of france bloody grape picking.......are you with me so far ?

so we piled onto a bus to Paris and booked into a squat called Le maison de jeauns...on the Left bank...which for them in the know is full of bleedin communists...i kept me head down and chomped on the local food....(which was stange to say the least).................the long and short of it ....i got quite ill very quickly and a doctor was sent for and gave me pills....and they were big pills....and thro the wonder of sign language he explained to me these pills were to be inserted in my anus :icon_eek:

i was too ill to care although i was quite surprised to hear this was normal practice for the bloody garlic munchers...

        Anyway i stuffed them up me arse......and to my great surprise they worked super quick as (so i was told) they were absorbed much quicker thro the lining of the rectum.....damned clever the jonny foreigners

So we were bused to Gare du Nord and borded a train for the south of france......got there 8 hours later ...booked into the Maison de jeuns...and me and my mate Bernard found a little pub called Chez Evette and went on the lash.......we were served with several cut meats and shed loads of differant olives ...every colour you could think of and some were stuffed with god knows what....and we gobbled them down like bloody smarties.....the drink we were served with looked like fermented yaks milk tasted of urine and smelt of anniseed............AND GET THIS it became flouresant under the UV disco lights..........

fast foward to the morning......and i tell you now...i had the worst hangover in the history of being on the tonk ever..and i needed to feel better...

now my mum being sensible and knowing i could "over do" it  had packed in my rucksack a tin of Andrews Liver salts...so armed with the sucess of anal medication in Paris....i pushed a heaped spoonful of aforsaid Andrews liver salts (and added a bit more to allow for wastage) up me ole harris.....

The science behind this desision was sound but the outcome was truly disarsterous.....i scuttled to the concrete hole in the floor toilet....squatted and did a superb impression of a NASA Saturn 5 rocket on lift off.....the partally disolved olives came out like .45 calibre Thompson machine gun on full auto....followed by and effervesant explosive brown mist

 

and thats why i dont like olives..:big_boss:

😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄🫠🫠😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

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