Ted Newgent 4,896 Posted December 15, 2020 Report Share Posted December 15, 2020 13 minutes ago, hambone said: Quietly building a head of steam. . We know when to perform and don't you know it. this smells BS to me lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hambone 950 Posted December 15, 2020 Report Share Posted December 15, 2020 Just now, Ted Newgent said: this smells BS to me lol You just suck another lithium battery and stick your head in the snow until march fella. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 48,307 Posted December 15, 2020 Report Share Posted December 15, 2020 Nothing in particular just clowns in general , you know like the bloke who brooms round in the warehouse telling you how he started the firm and the whole gaff would go to bits without him blah blah Im always like “yeah, right oh mate” 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
longers01 2,399 Posted December 15, 2020 Report Share Posted December 15, 2020 Was working on a travellers site one day and this young lad walked up with a black greyhound i said to him bet that can shift he said to right she can clocked her on the m62 chasing the car right along side she was doing 70 lol my mate said a cheetah don’t even do that haha 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
THE STIFFMEISTER 16,472 Posted December 15, 2020 Report Share Posted December 15, 2020 Fella in our town entered a jack Russel in a flapping track .... “ sees me in the crowd , raises his little paw , I’ve pissed this Colin son!” Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 48,307 Posted December 15, 2020 Report Share Posted December 15, 2020 1 hour ago, THE STIFFMEISTER said: Fella in our town entered a jack Russel in a flapping track .... “ sees me in the crowd , raises his little paw , I’ve pissed this Colin son!” “Real Madrid “ ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
king 11,984 Posted December 15, 2020 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2020 9 minutes ago, WILF said: “Real Madrid “ ! Sunderland Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 48,307 Posted December 15, 2020 Report Share Posted December 15, 2020 4 minutes ago, king said: Sunderland No mate, there’s a story to that comment but it’s not mine......I hope Stiff relates it because it’s hilarious in its matter of factness Quote Link to post Share on other sites
king 11,984 Posted December 15, 2020 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2020 1 minute ago, WILF said: No mate, there’s a story to that comment but it’s not mine......I hope Stiff relates it because it’s hilarious in its matter of factness Ah I see. Little bit of nudge nudge wink wink going on with the stiffmeister.. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
THE STIFFMEISTER 16,472 Posted December 16, 2020 Report Share Posted December 16, 2020 Right so basically I was on a course with the army maybe 10 years ago , as with most promotion things you kind of know the lads from your peer group etc. we all knew each other relatively well , and we had to do an ice breaker as a brief intro to who you are , background etc . And at the end , you can ask questions as in , what’s your ultimate goal in life ? What’s your proudest achievement? how many chicks you nailed? So anyway a lad from Wolverhampton stands up does his and we’re launching questions “What’s your favourite t v show ? “ Peaky blinders probably he said “Tell us an interesting fact about you ?” Well when I left school I was an an apprentice footballer for 2 years . so that leads to the natural obvious question. “oh right , erm , who did you play for ? “ now if he’d said Walsall , Wolves at a push , maybe Villa top end I wouldn’t be regaling you with this tale , as it would have been a nod and moved on. Fairly impressed Instead he decided to go all in and he uttered the immortal words “Real Madrid “ in the thickest yam yam accent this side of m6 . go big or go home!! 1 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 48,307 Posted December 16, 2020 Report Share Posted December 16, 2020 1 minute ago, THE STIFFMEISTER said: Right so basically I was on a course with the army maybe 10 years ago , as with most promotion things you kind of know the lads from your peer group etc. we all knew each other relatively well , and we had to do an ice breaker as a brief intro to who you are , background etc . And at the end , you can ask questions as in , what’s your ultimate goal in life ? What’s your proudest achievement? how many chicks you nailed? So anyway a lad from Wolverhampton stands up does his and we’re launching questions “What’s your favourite t v show ? “ Peaky blinders probably he said “Tell us an interesting fact about you ?” Well when I left school I was an an apprentice footballer for 2 years . so that leads to the natural obvious question. “oh right , erm , who did you play for ? “ now if he’d said Walsall , Wolves at a push , maybe Villa top end I wouldn’t be regaling you with this tale , as it would have been a nod and moved on. Fairly impressed Instead he decided to go all in and he uttered the immortal words “Real Madrid “ in the thickest yam yam accent this side of m6 . go big or go home!! I could hear that a 100 times and it would be amazing every time ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,863 Posted December 16, 2020 Report Share Posted December 16, 2020 Many years ago I worked with a bloke and he was telling us about a funeral he'd been to where a bloke had fell in a crusher and all that was left to bury was his head. He said when the pall bearers picked up the coffin the mourners could hear the head rolling about in the coffin. Cheers, D. 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Welsh_red 4,804 Posted December 16, 2020 Report Share Posted December 16, 2020 Ive known plenty of compulsive liars in my life . The very best is a guy called "shep" who told me he was brought up in a pub and lost his virginity by shagging the barmaid on the pool table at 3 years old . Im sure the guy spoke literally 80% bullshit 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jukel123 9,046 Posted December 16, 2020 Report Share Posted December 16, 2020 (edited) Just listen to a group of blokes after a session in the pub where you are the only one not drinking. It makes for a l-o-n-g f***ing night. Fantasists get worse the more drink they have. Wonder why its generally only a man thing? Women can talk a lot of shitof their own, but its generally not the fantasy stuff that men come out with. Edited December 16, 2020 by jukel123 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
wilbur foxhound 480 Posted December 16, 2020 Report Share Posted December 16, 2020 My niece got hooked up with a lad who raced greyhounds and went along with him nim one night,I asked her how she got on,and she told me a man said you’re new here ain’t you,last year I had the fastest dog here it was winning the race stopped and had 3 puppies got up and won the race and the puppies were 2nd,3rd, and 4th she then says I think he is winding me up,wf 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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