shaaark 10,780 Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 16 minutes ago, Ken's Deputy said: Saw that one! (I'm Subscribed) Laughed for a fukking week!!! Fear That sort of shit though! This jar of dried, chopped Jalipino Green Peppers I have here Terrify me now! I think a Doctors appointment, last week, has told me as much as I need to know about my tolerance to swallowing hot coals. I'm just not brought up or accustomed to That mad shit! To be honest, I don't tend to make my curries as hot as I used to, or make them as often. It's only me and my eldest lad that would eat them anyway, and he lives more than 50 miles from me these days lol. Anything hotter than a humbug, is too hot for the mrs and my 13 year old lad, so I just tend to wait til my eldest is coming up for a visit, to make a 'belter'. He might be coming up this saturday, he's going to let me know tomorrow, early afternoon. If he is, I'll be preparing said 'belter' by about 2.30 - 3.00 pm. Let it 'mature' overnight for the flavours to 'infuse' before setting about it 'with gusto' saturday evening! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,459 Posted May 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2021 Today, I learned the most valuable lesson of my entire curry career so far!!! It's Fantastic!!! I'm making bhajis again. Yeah? Only, I've come to loathe and dread this process. Because, the moment that egg goes in there? You're fukked! It all becomes a nasty, stodgy, glutinous mess which will stick to your hands like shit to a blanket. Okay. I've sussed out putting nitrile gloves on. Still can't sip your tea though. And, ironically, when you try to form the bhajis? The fukking things Refuse to stick!!! Only place the onion sticks is to your fingers! Well, Today, I cracked the whole thing wide open! Completely by fluke! I made the mess, as per instructions. Wearing my gloves, of course, as there's just no way round it. But, today I was trying out a different heat setting. I washed my gloves and whipped them off as staring at that tea mug was killing me! But, what with one thing and another, it was probably ten minutes and more before I gloved up and went back to the mess. That shit Rolled!!! I could, quite literally roll it into a ball, between my hands! I could have rolled the balls around the floor! It was Fantastic!!! So, there we have it: Next time I make bhajis? Glove up. Mix the shit. Walk away and drink tea! Give it ten or fifteen minutes and the sticky goo just somehow sorts itself out. Something in the flour, I s'pose? I'll Bet this is how they do it in restaurants! You never hear an Indian Chef screaming when someone orders onion bhajis. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,459 Posted May 13, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2021 Me, last week: " Where's the fukking Ginger, man?! " Seller: " Oh. Well, I found it wasn't really selling for me. If you know what I mean? " Me, last week: " Well, it'll fukking Sell to Me!!! I need it, and garlic! My paste rips through it! " Today " Thanks, my man! " 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,459 Posted May 28, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 Chapatis!!! Right then! ~ (Yes, I'm back! I've been plunged into a Bad place. Not saying I'm out of it yet. But, we have to hope!) ~ Who wants to ..... Roast My Roti's?!? Roti's? Chipati's? The terms seem completely interchangeable. Maybe geographic dialectics? What ever. Rotis's has less characters to type. So ... Today, getting a finger hold over the edge of the pit, I blasted on and made a shit ton of Rotis. I was Really focused on what I was doing. I Think I might have managed some of my best yet too. No where Near what those Indian ladies knock out, on the chube. They were taught by their mothers, from childhood. I'm watching hours of them at it. Trying to catch their knacks. It ain't easy! Here comes a little essay then, on how I made todays batch. And observed the Slightest improvement. Please Do scrutinise what I did and Roast Me, where I need it! I'm going to finish This post now. Start the next one, Purely about todays attempt. So, anyone just passing through can skip what's to come. Next post then? Just Rotis. With pictures, and maybe even a clunky bit of video clip? This may take me some little time ..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,459 Posted May 29, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2021 Experienced Opinions, Please! 1. Todays effort incorporated 100% " Wheatmeal " flour. I was, originally, taught to use Whole meal / Plain. 50/50. I later heard 100% 'Wheat' flour was the way. (I've no idea if 'wholemeal' is different from 'wheatmeal') I'm just waiting on 10Kg of Indian " Atta Medium Chapati Flour " to arrive. That, surely, will be The Kiddie?! 2. Every recipe I see says " 2 Cups ..... "? Fukk it. Today? I doubled up! I wanted a Lot of rotis and to use up this '2nd rate' choice of flour. 3. Used the 'Finger Tips' method of mixing. Dribbling in tiny amounts of hot water. Fingers more like a spider dancing in it. Rather that shoving my hand amongst it and squeezing. Indian lady showed me that Works fukking great! 4. I kneaded it for a solid five to eight minutes. No clocks. But, just zoned out and kept at it. No rush. a/ I never can get it crack free? b/ What are we looking at, when they poke their fingers in it with satisfaction? 5. Popped it in an air tight tub and fukked off. Came back, some time later and pushed it down to this: That's a scattering of Plain flour I just need to use up. Looked alright to me. I'd usually then roll it to s sausage, with my hands, and slice it into ten bits. As it is, I sliced it like a cart wheel. Ending up with eighteen pieces. Rolled each in my hands. Put the roll in my press. Pressed. Got the usual, what? 3 1/2" / 4" rounds? Dunno. Whilst I'd set my press to make them about the thickness of a £1.00 coin? I just felt these looked Too thick? Indian ladies slap them around like thick balloon skins. These look more like thin burgers. Opinions? So, I got the rolling pin out (Normal, British type) and rather bluntly went at them. I'm not running a fukking restaurant here. I'm feeding myself what I like! Perfectly round, or made by fukking Picasso? I'm not too bothered. Why does that make me think of Jacques Cousteau? Anyway; I found lowering the gas? The lower I took it, the better my rotis appeared to react? I actually got about the last one to blister! Just can't for the life of me, get my shit to do like the Indian girls do, on the chube If I could ever throw one on the gas ring, and see it instantly balloon up like Shelley Winters? My work would be complete! Anyway; Four cups of flour. This and that. Here's what's now in my freezer! Nine pairs of vacuum sealed third part Food Of The Gods! I'll be making a shit ton of the Other third, tomorrow. Restock of Onion Bhajis! Finally; I'll be wrecking this bag of beef chunks and smashing out Another curry that'll keep me going for another couple of weeks! Eat, drink and be merry; For the government are sly! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,459 Posted May 29, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2021 Well, while I wait for any of our heavy hitters to get back in here; I just can't fukking contain myself! Today, knowing I had only One pair of onion bhajis in the freezer ~ and seven onions sitting there on the side ..... Have At It!!! See how I've now discovered and adopted a baking tray? My heart fukking Bleeds for you poor fukkers who Won't get to sit here, with me, and scarf down one of my beef curries ~ along with a pair of those bad boys, and a couple of my rotis! Amazingly small bit of curry, along with that lot? I'm glad to finish it! Oh! Incidentally. KD's top tip from Todays learning experience? When it comes to sieving that Gram Flour over the onions? Fukk that Plastic piece of shit right off out of it! Dug out my old Steel one, today. Proper fukking mesh size! Flour fell like fine rain! Saved me so much shit! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnipper 6,468 Posted May 30, 2021 Report Share Posted May 30, 2021 What are chapattis like? I remember getting some grub of the Indian lads at the Waterloo cup and it was nothing like I've ever had from an Indian and those lads sid they wouldn't eat most of the stuff from an Indian restaurant There's an Indian just up the road from me, literally less than a minute walk which always smells good but I'm always unsure what to order, I go for massala, passanda or balti. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,459 Posted June 21, 2021 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2021 On 30/05/2021 at 01:44, gnipper said: What are chapattis like? Sorry, Gnip. I'd obviously become distracted and missed this completely What are they like? Well, I can only speak for my own efforts, as I thrash and blunder around. Trying to get hints from a million Indian girls, on the chube, showing us how They do it. Frankly? I'm yet to manage anything seeming to even Approach what they manage. But, even so, what I knock out are fukking Gorgeous! Let me try to explain it this way: I've had Poppadums before. In an India restaurant. This was literally several decades ago, 'mind. From memory? They were delicious, in their way. Thin. Brittle. A certain saltiness. They snapped and would probably shatter if you brought your hand down on one. Then there's ... Isn't it " Naan Bread " donna kebabs come in? Thicker than a stack of poppadoms. Soft. Rubbery sort of texture. Chewy. Tastes of fukk all really, that I could ever tell. It's been years. I don't miss that shit. Just ate a curry, my own, with my own Chapatti / Roti. Fukk Yeah!!! You can Shove ye naan. Poppadums are nice. But, for me? Rotis Every fukking time! They're something right in between. Nowhere near as thick and rubbery as naan. They don't snap like pap's. They're not as salty as pap's. Though, get that level of salt just so? Heaven! Mine come out to a consistency that I fold and tear them. I, now, couldn't imagine eating a curry without them! Pick up a piece of meat with a folded bit of one. Use a spoon and put a bit on top. Pop a bit in ye mouth and spoon in some curry. However you choose. They're fukking fantastic! And SO filling!!! Four curry spoons of curry. Two onion bhajis. Two, saucer sized rotis. That's me fukking FED!!! And I eat only once a day! Fukk it! Give it a try! That'd be my best advice! Any non stick frying pan should be fine. Maybe let the wife do it? She'd likely be better at the rolling shit than most blokes? Want any pointers? Let me know. I'm still floundering around myself. But, I can at least point out the chube's I found most useful. Oh, and; Following an earlier abortion with Amazon? God loves a trier! This arrived today! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 46,811 Posted June 21, 2021 Report Share Posted June 21, 2021 My latest “thing” is diced pork slow cooked in cream peppercorn sauce with mushrooms. They wouldn’t exactly recommend it at weight watchers but it’s amazing Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,459 Posted June 21, 2021 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2021 Naah. Sorry, mate. It was fine till it got to the mushrooms! I cannot Stand fukking mushrooms! Anything about them. Urgh! I eat a Lot of pig though. And I'm fond of pepper. In the pepper corn sense? Couple of times a week I have " Peppered Pig ". But, anyway, before this slyly morphs into 'What's FB Cooking 2' ; You into curries, Wilf? Only, two things here: 'Pepper'. Like I stipulated, I like pepper corn type pepper. But, my old mate, @OldPhil is an absolute cult follower of the Jalfrezi. (Accompanied by a nice bottle of Shiraz! ) Thus, I've long since decided I really should follow his example and try the same. But, try as I might, I just can't come up with a recipe that doesn't end up presenting us with chunks of Bell Peppers. Annnd ..... Nah. I'm just not into that either. I'd end up leaving half the fukking curry on the side of my plate I already Have a bag of chickens tits in my freezer though. Grabbed in earlier, eager anticipation of a jalfrezi. (Not gonna happen) " Al's Kitchen ", my own cult like followed source, Loves his chicken! Only, it's practically Always fukking Tandooried? I can't do that. No facilities. Last night though, I came across " Chicken Do Pyaza " I wonder how Shiraz might go with That? Phil ....? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bosun11 537 Posted June 22, 2021 Report Share Posted June 22, 2021 We're all curry fans in this house. Currys can be eaten any night of the week here, it's our 'go too' comfort grub. We make our own curries, sometimes with jars ( that we funk up with spices) or when making our own, we do from scratch. Of late i've been doing a few that the woman who ownes Mowgli Street Food restaurants, Nisha Katona, does. If anyone has had the pleasure of eating in a Mowgli, they are fantastic and her dishes to make at home are too! The one i've screenshot below is a cracker, you can make it hotter if you like it that way. Oh and don't worry about the ginger or the pineapple in the dish, both cook out to nothing and simply enhance the flavour without the direct taste. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 11,599 Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 On 22/06/2021 at 06:30, Bosun11 said: We're all curry fans in this house. Currys can be eaten any night of the week here, it's our 'go too' comfort grub. We make our own curries, sometimes with jars ( that we funk up with spices) or when making our own, we do from scratch. Of late i've been doing a few that the woman who ownes Mowgli Street Food restaurants, Nisha Katona, does. If anyone has had the pleasure of eating in a Mowgli, they are fantastic and her dishes to make at home are too! The one i've screenshot below is a cracker, you can make it hotter if you like it that way. Oh and don't worry about the ginger or the pineapple in the dish, both cook out to nothing and simply enhance the flavour without the direct taste. Ooh that’s sounds good Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shaaark 10,780 Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 On 22/06/2021 at 06:30, Bosun11 said: We're all curry fans in this house. Currys can be eaten any night of the week here, it's our 'go too' comfort grub. We make our own curries, sometimes with jars ( that we funk up with spices) or when making our own, we do from scratch. Of late i've been doing a few that the woman who ownes Mowgli Street Food restaurants, Nisha Katona, does. If anyone has had the pleasure of eating in a Mowgli, they are fantastic and her dishes to make at home are too! The one i've screenshot below is a cracker, you can make it hotter if you like it that way. Oh and don't worry about the ginger or the pineapple in the dish, both cook out to nothing and simply enhance the flavour without the direct taste. 20 minutes ago, forest of dean redneck said: Ooh that’s sounds good Yep, gonna do that this weekend. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 11,599 Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 30 minutes ago, shaaark said: Yep, gonna do that this weekend. Can you put some in a Jiffy bag ? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bosun11 537 Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 Keep me posted chaps, let me know how it goes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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