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Foodies Of The Massive; My Curry?


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That's a very basic curry ,no chillies ,tomatoes ,spice ,herbs ,Pakistani pubic hairs ?

Oh, you poor, miserable fukkas!!! You weren't here, tonight, to help me get amongst These!!! Al' Rocks!  Nuff fukking said!!!

Oh; Dear Fukking God!!! Sorry. I Know I said I'd put a shot on 'What's Cooking'. But, why break from This thread, to show what amounts to the Culmination of all this? I tried to take a grea

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18 minutes ago, dytkos said:

They are Chinese.

Yeah. Noticed that ? They send us flu? Entire fukking world goes to rat shit. Yet, they're blithely inflicting This sort of shit on us?!

Good luck wearing a paper towel on your face if I ever open that fukking jar again!

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On 02/04/2021 at 20:44, Ken's Deputy said:

You couldn't make this up! :D Popped into you chube. Saw I had a notification. It was Al'. And I now wonder if that fukker isn't following this thread, just as I follow him!

 

  Have to give this one a go! Got all the stuff to hand. Only, I'll use beef, because lamb costs more than fukking gold! :icon_eek:

Saw the same one.  Made said curry, damned nice.  Got a couple of tubs of it in the freezer now. ?

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Shaaark!! Yo ma man! :boogy:I'm all gee'd up to get one on too! Got my bhaji's and chipatis in the freezer. Brought home some more snap top boxes, last week. Can't fukkin wait!

Ordered some more turmeric, this afters. Just came in from the kitchen, where I was fine adjusting my new shelves :D

It's nice too, because I can see light at the end of the tunnel now. I have 90% of the powders and seeds I'll ever need. I have the vast bulk of them jarred up. I have those jars on spacious shelves.  Ooh! I even have all my steel ware hanging up now!

Looking for a clear day, so I can more closely examine the pile of scrap wood I've thrown down. I suspect I might have what I need there now to make a chipati press.

  What am I talking about?! OMFG! That off cut of plank, down the shed?! That'll be fukking ideal!!! No wonder the gods have been constantly whispering to me;

" See that brand new, squeaky clean length of plank you keep looking at. Picking up. Putting down ....? " :toast:

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5 minutes ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Shaaark!! Yo ma man! :boogy:I'm all gee'd up to get one on too! Got my bhaji's and chipatis in the freezer. Brought home some more snap top boxes, last week. Can't fukkin wait!

Ordered some more turmeric, this afters. Just came in from the kitchen, where I was fine adjusting my new shelves :D

It's nice too, because I can see light at the end of the tunnel now. I have 90% of the powders and seeds I'll ever need. I have the vast bulk of them jarred up. I have those jars on spacious shelves.  Ooh! I even have all my steel ware hanging up now!

Looking for a clear day, so I can more closely examine the pile of scrap wood I've thrown down. I suspect I might have what I need there now to make a chipati press.

  What am I talking about?! OMFG! That off cut of plank, down the shed?! That'll be fukking ideal!!! No wonder the gods have been constantly whispering to me;

" See that brand new, squeaky clean length of plank you keep looking at. Picking up. Putting down ....? " :toast:

Sounds good to me, mate. ?

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7 hours ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Shaaark!! Yo ma man! :boogy:I'm all gee'd up to get one on too! Got my bhaji's and chipatis in the freezer. Brought home some more snap top boxes, last week. Can't fukkin wait!

Ordered some more turmeric, this afters. Just came in from the kitchen, where I was fine adjusting my new shelves :D

It's nice too, because I can see light at the end of the tunnel now. I have 90% of the powders and seeds I'll ever need. I have the vast bulk of them jarred up. I have those jars on spacious shelves.  Ooh! I even have all my steel ware hanging up now!

Looking for a clear day, so I can more closely examine the pile of scrap wood I've thrown down. I suspect I might have what I need there now to make a chipati press.

  What am I talking about?! OMFG! That off cut of plank, down the shed?! That'll be fukking ideal!!! No wonder the gods have been constantly whispering to me;

" See that brand new, squeaky clean length of plank you keep looking at. Picking up. Putting down ....? " :toast:

I found "just ingredients" expensive, check prices in the link I gave you (tradewinds turmeric, 100g, 55pence)

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10 minutes ago, neil82 said:

I found "just ingredients" expensive, check prices in the link I gave you (tradewinds turmeric, 100g, 55pence)

:icon_eek:  Neil; I, obviously, must have lost sight of that link, in all this helter skelter delirium.

I tend to get tunnel vision toward Amazon though. Simply because I have Prime and they're so fukking good to deal with.

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Curry coming up, KD? :D

1966560455_P4160495(2).JPG.32edac6fb034bc186c84a76ef198232b.JPG

 

Got to admit; I fukked up on the water on these ones. I was trying yet another variation on the basic recipe. Sounds a good'n. But, as said, I had a brain fart and ballsed the water.

That led to an ultra sticky mess. That led to a shit ton more flour. But, I bottled it on more salt.

Result? They're okay. I've sat here and munched a couple. But, I Can leave them alone ? Salt, see? Just makes them fukking irresistible, when I get it right.

Vacuum seal them next. Bung them in the freezer. Stocks were running perilously low!

That'll about do me, for today. Been working like a well whipped nigger, for days, now. Probably make another shit ton of bhaji's, tomorrow. May double up and go for broke. Cram the freezer space.

Top Tip? Wear fukking disposable rubber gloves!!! Made it So Much easier and nicer, last time! Picking bits of onions off of sticky shit covered hands just takes the piss.

Oh! Beef Madras, chipati's and bhajis for dinner tonight! Fukk Yeah!!! :boogy:

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4 hours ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Oh! Beef Madras, chipati's and bhajis for dinner tonight! Fukk Yeah!!! :boogy:

Fukk My Old Boots! YES!!! :D

This one's a little tribute to " Al's Kitchen "

As Al' might say; " Ann Marie!!! "

2088545418_P4160495(2).JPG.ad2a030dddbe4d45eca3eb7047358619.JPG

 

That muvva fukka made my nose run! :toast:

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2 minutes ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Fukk My Old Boots! YES!!! :D

This one's a little tribute to " Al's Kitchen "

As Al' might say; " Ann Marie!!! "

2088545418_P4160495(2).JPG.ad2a030dddbe4d45eca3eb7047358619.JPG

 

That muvva fukka made my nose run! :toast:

When your teeth start sweating, you know you've made a real 'stoater' mate! ? ?

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20 minutes ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Fukk My Old Boots! YES!!! :D

This one's a little tribute to " Al's Kitchen "

As Al' might say; " Ann Marie!!! "

2088545418_P4160495(2).JPG.ad2a030dddbe4d45eca3eb7047358619.JPG

 

That muvva fukka made my nose run! :toast:

Tell you what though mate, don't know if you've tried it yet, but I've been 'experimenting' with some 'fragrant' rices lately, with some of the milder curries, as a change from nan bread etc.

Some of them are really good.  Just another idea for you, maybe? ?

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Shaaark; In all honesty? I'm so enjoying the chapatis deal ~ trying to make them just right is a universal challenge in itself, I find! Just watching several dozen chubes of Indian people doing it doesn't make one an over night expert, sadly!

Oh! I had a mate in, yesterday. He, like the other one, was absolutely bowled over by my new kitchen shelving. But, when he saw my chapati press? He just about lost his shit! ?

He seems to think I'm some kind of genius, for making such a deadly accurate mechanism out of shit I literally picked up off my work room floor.

Dunno about genius. But, I'm certainly not Stupid enough to pay £130.00+ for one from India!

But, yeah, rice? It's just such a fukking bind, isn't it? Gotta make it practically to order. To the gram. Leave it alone too long and it can kill you?!

FFS! I can smack out a shit load of rotis. Bang them in the freezer and help myself, at will.

Al' does a nice recipe for pilau rice. Got it right here. Got the ingredients in the kitchen. But, rice has just lost its shine to me, somehow, just now ?

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I'm getting the fukking hang of this!!! :boogy:

 

P4200495.JPG.e07c398ef078014d32edd3afcca8d422.JPG

 

  Held together like a unit! I put nitrile gloves on, to mix it, once the egg goes in. Have a shit load of Gram flour sieved out and waiting. Saves so much drama! Pretty well nailed the temperature setting for the oil too.

These formed better than ever before. Size looks good. I'm well pleased! :D

 

Al's my fukking hero! Look where he's brought me, from sloppy, watery stews full of " Curry Powder " ~ and lamenting that I'd never eat another onion bhaji for the rest of my life. Because there's no Indian takeaways round here! ?

I Laugh at you, lost hope!!! ?

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3 hours ago, Ken's Deputy said:

I'm getting the fukking hang of this!!! :boogy:

 

P4200495.JPG.e07c398ef078014d32edd3afcca8d422.JPG

 

  Held together like a unit! I put nitrile gloves on, to mix it, once the egg goes in. Have a shit load of Gram flour sieved out and waiting. Saves so much drama! Pretty well nailed the temperature setting for the oil too.

These formed better than ever before. Size looks good. I'm well pleased! :D

 

Al's my fukking hero! Look where he's brought me, from sloppy, watery stews full of " Curry Powder " ~ and lamenting that I'd never eat another onion bhaji for the rest of my life. Because there's no Indian takeaways round here! ?

I Laugh at you, lost hope!!! ?

It's been an enjoyable journey, watching you progress mate. ?

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OMFG! Yesss!!! Tonight, I made Al's Beef Madras, again. As usual.

Al's big into chicken and lamb dishes? I can't afford lamb ~ who the fukk can?! And I'm just a bit of a stick in the mud. It's easier to just ask my butcher for " A bag of (beef) chunks ".

However, having tried this one a few times, I have to admit; It was lovely. But, just always missing that Pizass.

Also, as Al' says to make it in a pot, then reduce it to fukk and slow cook it? I just fry the onions. Add the spices. Then chuck the lot over the beef, in my Instant Pot. Comes out Awash!

So, today?

1. I fukked off the tin of coconut milk. That, effectively, halved the liquid. I've never used the yoghurt and cream he says. Simply don't have them to hand.

2. I paid closer attention, and realised why it was I had this jar of dried and chopped green chilli's on my shelf! Al' says four raw. I gave it my best shot with two teaspoons.

Muvva Fukka!!! That fukking worked!!! :icon_eek:

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