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Foodies Of The Massive; My Curry?


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Ah! Happy that you asked! :D

Right: Option one, yeah? Make a couple of litres of the stuff. Then start ladelling it into plastic baggies.

I mean. Fukking Seriously?! Even having the neck taper machine that I have here, it's gonna get Bad, isn't it? Gravy all over the fukking kitchen. Bags smothered in the shit. I just wasn't going there :(

So, I thought about plastic storage boxes? Which size though? Square ones could stack. And a rigid box would at least be less drama than plastic fukking bags.

But, then, I thought of the Cost! How Many poxy little boxes? Where would I store all the empties ....? Naah. Fukk That!

So, I hit on my Master Plan! Pour the lot into one, big, square bucket. Freeze it solid. Get my sawzall out, hacksaw blade. Slice the lot into 'portion' sized, frozen lumps. Bag Them!

:D See? I'm a fukking Genius! ?

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That's a very basic curry ,no chillies ,tomatoes ,spice ,herbs ,Pakistani pubic hairs ?

Oh, you poor, miserable fukkas!!! You weren't here, tonight, to help me get amongst These!!! Al' Rocks!  Nuff fukking said!!!

Oh; Dear Fukking God!!! Sorry. I Know I said I'd put a shot on 'What's Cooking'. But, why break from This thread, to show what amounts to the Culmination of all this? I tried to take a grea

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Right, lads, hang onto your seats! I'm going in! :D

Tomorrow, anyway. I've just took a load of beef chunks out the freezer. This morning, I wondered what the f**k this soft bag of brown stuff was, in my fridge. Realised it was my portion of Base Gravy and decided I'd better get and do something with it.

Grim thing is though; After all my harping on about Al's or bust? I've twigged how I've fukked up!

See, I read a comment, on one of his vid's, the other day. Someone was asking how we should measure the spices for a bigger curry. Al' tends to make enough for one, then scoff it himself.

Anyway, fact is, I'll have to wing it a bit, with so much meat. Therefore, I figure if I'm doing that? I'd may as well go all out and just chuck it in the electric pressure cooker ? I'm sire it'll be perfectly acceptable. It just won't be an Al'.

Meanwhile, I'e been chatting to a guy in PM, on here. He's told me about " Beef Rendang "! Fukk Me!!! Look it up!

I'll have to source a few, new, ingredients. But, fukk yeah!

Ooh, look. Here's a link to a proper, native lady, telling us exactly how it's done. She's talking a proper amount too! Rendang Me Up!

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A pal of mine is a Sikh and he always starts the basis of most of his curries/ dishes with mustard seeds fried in a drop of oil/Ghee then adds his onions/shallots to start building the curry.

Just a little thing to consider before you go full attack, to be honest I can’t wait to see the end result of this the anticipation has been immense.

Be sure to stick a pic up on the What’s Cooking Thread...

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1 hour ago, FLATTOP said:

Be sure to stick a pic up on the What’s Cooking Thread...

 That's the fukking Gauntlet thrown down then! ?

Right. Challenge fukking accepted! Only, now? I'll have to go all on balls out and present the muvva fukka on a bed of Al's pilau rice!!! I Have the recipe! I Have the small, red onion! I Can fukking do this!!! ?

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Oh; Dear Fukking God!!!

Sorry. I Know I said I'd put a shot on 'What's Cooking'. But, why break from This thread, to show what amounts to the Culmination of all this?

I tried to take a great shot of my Beef Madras on Pilau Rice. But, all I really got was a swirling cloud of steam. So, I snatched a very unflattering shot, just before I went at it like a starving wolverine:

 

232986857_TheMaterial.JPG.f337e53f70d644d8c1bfbb5a43b5a225.JPG

 

  Another dash of the gravy might have made it Look better? So what? Fukk you all! This was Absolutely The Best fukking meal I've had in over fifteen years!!! ? If I had three hands? I'd have been cracking one off as I ate it!

  I raise a glass to Al'. And I shall be on the phone to my name sake, petitioning most strongly for Al's beatification forthwith.

God all fukking mighty, it was Good! Seriously! Seriously fukking good! If I'd been fed this in a restaurant? They'd have just gained a Regular!

And I'm not a fancy or flashy eater. (Ate this out of my usual, age old frying pan, look!) But, imagine that, above, with more gravy, to fill in the spaces. And a sprinkling of red pepper amongst the rice, for eye appeal ~ as Al' does. Pinch of fresh coriander and a twist of lemming ~ Al's trademarks. It'd be food porn!

Dog's seen the fukking rabbit now! Next one, I'll have onion bhajis with it. The fukking works! Have to find some poppadoms too! ? Oh my f***ing god! Feeding will become the absolute fukking highlight of my existence!

I am one happy bunny!!! ?

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Yeah. I know it's taken a while, from inception to ingestion. But, believe me, I've Never stopped beavering away, behind the scenes :) I've spent an absolute fukking fortune and have researched endlessly.

And don't forget; Practically every new type I choose to try will mean sourcing more very niche ingredients. People, like me, don't just automatically happen to have coconut milk or lemon grass in their cupboard.

On the flip side, of course? I now Know how to prepare a garlic bulb. (Something I'd literally never touched with my hand before) And, any of the things I've had to do in the lead up to this? I now know I Can do. And I know How. I've learned a shit ton.

Finally; Tonights dinner has not only blown my tiny little mind. It's made me eager to try More! Like, how about this Beef Rendang? Completely beyond my experience. Contains things I've never eaten. But, hell! Why Not?! :D

 

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aldi for coconut milk, shake shit out of it first as it can settle or if you want to make it thicker scoup out the top solid bit.

try this. 

use half the coconut milk in your curry, wash out and dry the tin, use the tin to measure out self raising flour, 1 can flour to 1/2 can coconut milk, mix well, divide into cupcake paper cases (should do 6 easy) and steam for 10-12 minutes.

popadoms we buy in and cook 200 a time, naans are a pain to make at home unless you have a big heavy pan, chapaties are easier, can dig out the recipe I use if you want it, very simple to do

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Neil; What's that thing with the coco milk and flour cause, please?

Popadoms, I remember they tend to have them in supermarkets. Probably as brutally expensive as getting them from a takeaway, or worse. But, I have severely limited options and I don't complain about small shit :)

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2 hours ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Neil; What's that thing with the coco milk and flour cause, please?

Popadoms, I remember they tend to have them in supermarkets. Probably as brutally expensive as getting them from a takeaway, or worse. But, I have severely limited options and I don't complain about small shit :)

steamed coconut buns, forget about making popadoms at home, naans or chapati`s are easier, chapati`s are an absolute doddle, take longer to type it all out than it does to make them

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Top Man! :D Just googled " Chapati's ". To my, untrained, eye? I'd have thought they were popadoms. Look as good anyway!

Lovely! Okay, mate. Bit late now. I've had a long enough day. But, hell yeah! I'll check out the recipe for them, tomorrow. Could be a whole new dimension to my gourmet experience!

I'm fukking Loving this! :D

 

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11 hours ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Oh; Dear Fukking God!!!

Sorry. I Know I said I'd put a shot on 'What's Cooking'. But, why break from This thread, to show what amounts to the Culmination of all this?

I tried to take a great shot of my Beef Madras on Pilau Rice. But, all I really got was a swirling cloud of steam. So, I snatched a very unflattering shot, just before I went at it like a starving wolverine:

 

232986857_TheMaterial.JPG.f337e53f70d644d8c1bfbb5a43b5a225.JPG

 

  Another dash of the gravy might have made it Look better? So what? Fukk you all! This was Absolutely The Best fukking meal I've had in over fifteen years!!! ? If I had three hands? I'd have been cracking one off as I ate it!

  I raise a glass to Al'. And I shall be on the phone to my name sake, petitioning most strongly for Al's beatification forthwith.

God all fukking mighty, it was Good! Seriously! Seriously fukking good! If I'd been fed this in a restaurant? They'd have just gained a Regular!

And I'm not a fancy or flashy eater. (Ate this out of my usual, age old frying pan, look!) But, imagine that, above, with more gravy, to fill in the spaces. And a sprinkling of red pepper amongst the rice, for eye appeal ~ as Al' does. Pinch of fresh coriander and a twist of lemming ~ Al's trademarks. It'd be food porn!

Dog's seen the fukking rabbit now! Next one, I'll have onion bhajis with it. The fukking works! Have to find some poppadoms too! ? Oh my f***ing god! Feeding will become the absolute fukking highlight of my existence!

I am one happy bunny!!! ?

for fuk sake...how could ye spoon that shit into yer mouth...gimme a bucket  fast ffs,,,its like a nappy..

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14 hours ago, Ken's Deputy said:

Oh; Dear Fukking God!!!

Sorry. I Know I said I'd put a shot on 'What's Cooking'. But, why break from This thread, to show what amounts to the Culmination of all this?

I tried to take a great shot of my Beef Madras on Pilau Rice. But, all I really got was a swirling cloud of steam. So, I snatched a very unflattering shot, just before I went at it like a starving wolverine:

 

232986857_TheMaterial.JPG.f337e53f70d644d8c1bfbb5a43b5a225.JPG

 

  Another dash of the gravy might have made it Look better? So what? Fukk you all! This was Absolutely The Best fukking meal I've had in over fifteen years!!! ? If I had three hands? I'd have been cracking one off as I ate it!

  I raise a glass to Al'. And I shall be on the phone to my name sake, petitioning most strongly for Al's beatification forthwith.

God all fukking mighty, it was Good! Seriously! Seriously fukking good! If I'd been fed this in a restaurant? They'd have just gained a Regular!

And I'm not a fancy or flashy eater. (Ate this out of my usual, age old frying pan, look!) But, imagine that, above, with more gravy, to fill in the spaces. And a sprinkling of red pepper amongst the rice, for eye appeal ~ as Al' does. Pinch of fresh coriander and a twist of lemming ~ Al's trademarks. It'd be food porn!

Dog's seen the fukking rabbit now! Next one, I'll have onion bhajis with it. The fukking works! Have to find some poppadoms too! ? Oh my f***ing god! Feeding will become the absolute fukking highlight of my existence!

I am one happy bunny!!! ?

Well done mate good first time effort it looks nice the consistency of the sauce is balanced to the meat, ark at me Egon Ronay ? and because this has taken so long it’s like a weight off my shoulders god knows how your feeling, I admire your tenacity bring on the Rendang....

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