Foster parents

[Astanley 11,598]

1 hour ago, Greyman said:

Will probably have to go through a private agency anyway, mate as I have tried to foster through the council, was treated like shit messed about for 6 months before being rejected , I even appealed there decision and the appeal was held behind closed doors and I was not allowed to attend, absolute bunch of tree hugging wankers to be honest,

The council couldn't recognise honesty ,integrity and decency in a million years ,go .private and don't let beaurocracy stand in the way of you and your Mrs making a difference to some poor fkrs life

[Dinosaurs 2,130]

Hats off to you Greyman & hope all works out  Atb

[shovel leaner 7,650]

Me and my Mrs Foster , well my Mrs does all the work . To anyone who says that we do it for the money, the honest answer is my wife does it for her job . But she loves doing it . And she earns a bit of money, so what ? Some of these kids are so damaged, they are up all night , wreck your house , your car . You might have to lock the fridge and your food away , you can’t have a drink , because it could be a behavioural trigger . If people weren’t payed then there would be even fewer people fostering and there aren’t enough as it is . I know people who go into it in a big way , get a big house , loads of bedrooms and a mini bus . They are 100% doing it as a vocation or for the money . And in my view it’s a good job they’re doing. Kids go into care for drink , drugs , domestic violence, sexual interference, chronic neglect, but most often it’s a combination of all of those factors . When the kids get removed, what are you going to do with them if not a foster home ? Maybe a return to priests and nuns looking after them in dormitories cos that worked didn’t it ? Anyone who goes into it for money won’t last that long because you have to like the kids , it’s hard work but rewarding. In answer to Greymans original post , I very much doubt that the council would allow you to foster on a boat . For various reasons , health and safety being the main one . I’ve no experience of agencies , but what I do know is that the children that go to agencies are the difficult to place kids that nobody who fosters for the council is prepared to take in , because of their extreme behaviour, or disability.  I wish you well Greyman and hope if works out . 

[Greyman 30,293]

Cheers mate, thanks for the reply, good insight and FairPlay to you and your good lady,  

[jetro 5,349]

8 hours ago, shovel leaner said:

Me and my Mrs Foster , well my Mrs does all the work . To anyone who says that we do it for the money, the honest answer is my wife does it for her job . But she loves doing it . And she earns a bit of money, so what ? Some of these kids are so damaged, they are up all night , wreck your house , your car . You might have to lock the fridge and your food away , you can’t have a drink , because it could be a behavioural trigger . If people weren’t payed then there would be even fewer people fostering and there aren’t enough as it is . I know people who go into it in a big way , get a big house , loads of bedrooms and a mini bus . They are 100% doing it as a vocation or for the money . And in my view it’s a good job they’re doing. Kids go into care for drink , drugs , domestic violence, sexual interference, chronic neglect, but most often it’s a combination of all of those factors . When the kids get removed, what are you going to do with them if not a foster home ? Maybe a return to priests and nuns looking after them in dormitories cos that worked didn’t it ? Anyone who goes into it for money won’t last that long because you have to like the kids , it’s hard work but rewarding. In answer to Greymans original post , I very much doubt that the council would allow you to foster on a boat . For various reasons , health and safety being the main one . I’ve no experience of agencies , but what I do know is that the children that go to agencies are the difficult to place kids that nobody who fosters for the council is prepared to take in , because of their extreme behaviour, or disability.  I wish you well Greyman and hope if works out . 

Fair play to you and good lady wife for helping some child that really needs it.

I have some idea what you mean about some kids with issiues for domestic violence and abuse, having taken our necie and nephew in after my sister died. We didn't know at the time the sheer hell they went through, and how damaged they were, even today they are scarred from it but hide it well. The weeks of thepary and and help was a massive support. 

Anyone that trys to help and taken in children in need of help are real hero's in my eyes, and should be given every support and more.

And I personally think no one does it for the money, they do it because their good people 

Atb j 

[Bush Rummager 4,769]

I'm from a family of 5 and my parents fostered various children between guessing from when i was probably 8 to 13 years old.

We had the full age range.. new borns up to young teens.. twins, triplets... brothers and sisters.

I shared my bedroom with many a strang fellow youngster back then. Some where fine... Some where little b@stards.. but back then at that age i just accepted it.

No big deal having a set of twin boys come to share your bedroom for a month or two out of the blue!!

I don't know or care about the money side of it now, or back then.. would have been late 80's.

We had some really good times with these kids.. and hopefully they will have of us... 

Saying that.. my old girl got a visit off one boy only last year. Turned his life around, gone from rags to riches as they say and is in the special now..  

My Mother clocked him.. pacing up and down, trying to pick her house out. It's been a good 25 years... but he'd remember what we'd done for him and came back to reminisce and thank us for what we'd done for him.

Fostering is a stepping stone that these kids need on their bumpy  journey in life... god bless them.. give them all the help you can i say...

 

 

[Greb147 6,809]

1 hour ago, Bush Rummager said:

I'm from a family of 5 and my parents fostered various children between guessing from when i was probably 8 to 13 years old.

We had the full age range.. new borns up to young teens.. twins, triplets... brothers and sisters.

I shared my bedroom with many a strang fellow youngster back then. Some where fine... Some where little b@stards.. but back then at that age i just accepted it.

No big deal having a set of twin boys come to share your bedroom for a month or two out of the blue!!

I don't know or care about the money side of it now, or back then.. would have been late 80's.

We had some really good times with these kids.. and hopefully they will have of us... 

Saying that.. my old girl got a visit off one boy only last year. Turned his life around, gone from rags to riches as they say and is in the special now..  

My Mother clocked him.. pacing up and down, trying to pick her house out. It's been a good 25 years... but he'd remember what we'd done for him and came back to reminisce and thank us for what we'd done for him.

Fostering is a stepping stone that these kids need on their bumpy  journey in life... god bless them.. give them all the help you can i say...

 

 

Exactly the same situation as my pal. His parents have the lads they fostered through the years visiting them regularly. 

[shovel leaner 7,650]

Got a little story for you . I was doing some work with a guy I’ve known for years and we were having a natter and he asked me what I was up to these day because we hadn’t had a catch up for a while. “Oh me and the Mrs are going through the foster training and hoping to be be foster parents “, he went a bit quiet for a bit and asked me a few questions about it , then he started to tell me his story, and I could tell that he had come over a bit emotional and he wasn’t that sort of chap to let his guard down . Turns out both his parents were alcoholics and he had more meal times than meals and he was frequently beaten up by his father  One day he had enough and started sleeping in the bandstand in the park , but he loved school, it was the only normal thing in his life . There was a girl in his class who noticed that he was looking dirty and disheveled and asked him what’s going on and he told her . Her mum was a teacher and they took him in and with the help of the social services they officially fostered him . 
       He said you have no idea how having a warm bed , food on the table and to know that you aren’t going to have the granny knocked out of you , what a difference it makes . All he needed at that time was safety. That is what foster care provides. He told me it saved him and turned his life around, and he has never forgotten the people who helped him and goes to see them regularly. I could tell it took a lot for him to confide his story to me but he wanted to let me know that it had helped him and it was a worthwhile thing to do . 
         
      

[Greyman 30,293]

Have had it from both sides mate, been the kid sleeping in the back of an old car because my parents had locked me out again and seen the satisfaction of keeping others safe in my house because they or there own parents were having troubles, I’ve just never done it through official channels tried in the 90s as said but was left with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth by the way the system treated me, but now my youngest has up and gone Im missing the vigour of youth around me and wouldn’t mind another pop

[shovel leaner 7,650]

8 minutes ago, Greyman said:

Have had it from both sides mate, been the kid sleeping in the back of an old car because my parents had locked me out again and seen the satisfaction of keeping others safe in my house because they or there own parents were having troubles, I’ve just never done it through official channels tried in the 90s as said but was left with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth by the way the system treated me, but now my youngest has up and gone Im missing the vigour of youth around me and wouldn’t mind another pop

When a placement ( child ) moves on the house is so quiet . We both like the noise and hustle and bustle that kids bring to the home . Not everyone likes it but we do . When they leave it’s sad and there are tears , but they are moving on to permanent homes , either adoption or back to mum and dad who have sorted themselves out . It can be tough because you invest a lot into them and you know that particularly when they go back to birth parents that they may not be getting the level of care that they have got used to with you . But bloods thicker than water as they say . And kids love their parents no matter what they are like. Don’t give up would be my advice and appeal any decision because they are short of carer’s . A mate of mine went through the training and when this woman came to his house to check it they turned him down , because he had kennels and guns . He rang me up and I said so have I , appeal it . He did and they sent someone else out who wasn’t as anti shooting as the first inspector and they gave it the ok . You can appeal but they have a check list of things like safety glass on windows and doors , catches on drawers and kitchen cupboards for toddlers, locks on windows, lockable medicine cabinets, smoke alarms , that kind of thing . They are blame averse and try to cover their arse with everything , but you can’t blame them . That is why I said that a boat might fall short of safety requirements. “ what happened to Keanu “? “Oh he fell overboard and drowned “ . “ Who said it was ok for him to be fostered on a boat ?” You can see how their minds work can’t you . 

[gnasher16 30,686]

1 hour ago, Greyman said:

Have had it from both sides mate, been the kid sleeping in the back of an old car because my parents had locked me out again and seen the satisfaction of keeping others safe in my house because they or there own parents were having troubles, I’ve just never done it through official channels tried in the 90s as said but was left with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth by the way the system treated me, but now my youngest has up and gone Im missing the vigour of youth around me and wouldn’t mind another pop

Not casting aspertions mate but im sure ive heard you make reference to brushes with the law you had earlier in life,dont be surprised if that go,s against you.....i only know because my mrs cant have kids so we did look into it years ago but with my somewhat checkered past we basically got laughed at !.....doesnt mean you cant do the best you can for the youngsters around you of course but i absolutely get that missing having the vigour of youth around....that was nicely put 

Edited July 4, 2020 by gnasher16

[Greyman 30,293]

6 minutes ago, gnasher16 said:

Not casting assertions mate but im sure ive heard you make reference to brushes with the law you had earlier in life,dont be surprised if that go,s against you.....i only know because my mrs cant have kids so we did look into it years ago but with my somewhat checkered past we basically got laughed at !.....doesnt mean you cant do the best you can for the youngsters around you of course but i absolutely get that missing having the vigour of youth around....that was nicely put 

Cheers mate and welcome back, your right  it was my checkered past that got me rejected before even though my own kids were doing really well in school and I had not had my collar felt for many a year, they just seemed to focus on that and we’re not interested in  nothing else,  the police record was a solid wall to the council

[Blackmag 6,250]

We looked after my nephew because my sister's drugs problems and looked in to fostering him permanently but she got him back even though they new he was miles better of living with us it was just money on her behalf then we looked in to fostering with the local council we got knocked back like you and nash Because of my record from years ago I passed a CRB check for working with kids but failed the council's selection when we went with a private one passed caricus fostering and they were miles better to deal with but little lad started showing his autism so we knocked it on the head but I wish you atb greyman and I hope they see sense and common sense prevails 

Edited July 4, 2020 by Blackmag

[shovel leaner 7,650]

21 minutes ago, gnasher16 said:

Not casting assertions mate but im sure ive heard you make reference to brushes with the law you had earlier in life,dont be surprised if that go,s against you.....i only know because my mrs cant have kids so we did look into it years ago but with my somewhat checkered past we basically got laughed at !.....doesnt mean you cant do the best you can for the youngsters around you of course but i absolutely get that missing having the vigour of youth around....that was nicely put 

It’s something that needs changing, people can turn their lives around and turn over a new leaf . As long as there is no history of sex offences and as long as people can demonstrate that they  have not been in trouble for a significant amount of time and that they  are no longer going to have their  door kicked in at 5.0am . Then I can’t see why they shouldn’t be parents. People with a colourful past and life experience have a lot to offer in my opinion . 

[Qbgrey 4,216]

Ive tried explaining that to people,as construction guys,your kinda in that,work ya bollox off,,cold,wet,shit job makes you a bit more likely to get in a bit of agro,uf you know what im trying to say.but it also makes us honest,hardworking very genuine parents.