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Best day off work excuses .


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What's the best excuses you lads have heard or used over years  ?? 

2 that stick out to me are belters .

 

1 ,one lad came in on Monday looking rough as f**k .said he's grandmother had died so needed the rest of day off.sure lad no probs . Sorry for your loss .

Only for her to come site with his f***ing bait 20 minutes later ,saying he's forgot to fetch his lunch ????

2,lad rang me up saying he can't come to work today as he has no pants to where . After few questions back he said he had 2 pair of pants and they both in wash .unbelivable .

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When I was 19, I woke up in a strange bed with the mother of all hangovers, didn't have a clue where I was. My phone was ringing, it was around 10am and I should have been at work at 8:30.  

I can’t find my car keys ... also heard a good excuse for someone turning into work 3hrs late ... he said he’d dreamt he was in work so thought he’d been in 

Something similar got pissed Sunday afternoon then thought I had slept in getting bus to go to work and seeing ice-cream vans thought it wierd kids out playing was 8oclock Sunday night

I can’t find my car keys ...

also heard a good excuse for someone turning into work 3hrs late ... he said he’d dreamt he was in work so thought he’d been in 

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I once got,   ‘‘I’ve broke me arm’’  no sign of a broken arm two days later though

Also had

‘’I’ve got no clothes to wear’’ (had this numerous times from one particular lad)

‘’didn’t have any money’’

’’didn’t think you wanted me in’’

’’shit, I thought It was the weekend’’

‘’my neighbours cat died’’

‘’It was too hot yesterday’’

 

Just to name a few.

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Birds kicked me out also a belter.

No bait money 

Sun stroke ,,in winter .

Been up all night ,shitting like f**k ,

Also to brothers on one site ,one phoned in saying there dad had died at weekend.funny that said foreman ,your brother has come in and knows f**k all about ya dad being dead .

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When I was 19, I woke up in a strange bed with the mother of all hangovers, didn't have a clue where I was.

My phone was ringing, it was around 10am and I should have been at work at 8:30.

 ......... I was halfway through lying to my boss that I'd been ill all night when some huge woman, about 20yrs older than me, dressed in some silk dressing gown thing came through the door going 'Jonny, are you awake yet' :rolleyes:

 

My boss heard her and asked 'What the f**k are you playing at'. 

I knew I was in trouble so, I told him that I'd gone out for a couple with the lads, got carried away, ended up on the train to Basingstoke (work was in Reading), got dunk, I probably shagged a fat bird and, didn't have a clue where I was.

 

With him being exmilitary, I was expecting to be told not to come back. Instead, he pissed himself laughing and told me to be at work an hour early the next day.

 .......... He said I'll give you give you that one for free but don't let it happen again.

 

I still can't remember most of that night but, my legs were feckin' killing for the whole day.

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We had a fitter who was supposed to be fitting a kitchen out skeggy way but rang base to say he had to turn back because he had the squits ...fair enough the boss said ...This was back in the day when radio1 did one big weekend events and there just happened to be one on that weekend..well the boss settled down that evening to watch the news only to see his works  van parked in the one big weekend carpark :laugh: 

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6 minutes ago, kanny said:

The opposite but has anyone turned up for work on a bank holiday Monday to find the place deserted? ..I have ?

Yip I’ve done that and opened the place up generator started compressors started and got on with my work ?? 1/2 hour later looking round me wondering why everybody was late it struck me. 

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13 minutes ago, kanny said:

The opposite but has anyone turned up for work on a bank holiday Monday to find the place deserted? ..I have ?

Yep once went in on a SUNDAY thinking it was Monday my boss rang after seeing me on cameras asking what the feck I was doing then laughed his head off when I told him while shouting/screaming it's Sunday you dick 

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