Nursery rhymes updated for the 21'st century.

[mackem 26,414]

1. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
   Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
   The structure of the wall was incorrect
   So he won ten grand with Claims Direct....
2. It's Raining, It's Pouring
   Of course...it's Global Warming.
3. Jack and Jill went into town
   To fetch some chips and sweeties.
   Now he can't keep his heart rate down
   And she's got diabetes.
4. Mary had a little lamb
   It ran into a pylon.
   10,000 volts went up its @rse
   And turned its wool to nylon.
5. Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
   Kissed the girls and made them cry..
   When the boys came out to play
   He kissed them too cause he was gay.
6. Jack and Jill
   Went up the hill
   And planned to do some kissing.
   Jack made a pass
   And grabbed her ass
   Now two of his teeth are missing.
7. Mary had a little lamb
   Its fleece was white and wispy.
   Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
   And now it's black and crispy.

[South hams hunter 8,922]

In all seriousness it' now rainbow sheep 

[dogmad riley 1,344]

3 hours ago, South hams hunter said:

In all seriousness it' now rainbow sheep 

Not my kids school it isn't.

[Dinosaurs 2,044]

Georie porgie pudding & pie. Kissed the girls & made them cry And When the boys came out to play. He kissed them too Coz he’s funny that Way. 

 

The grand old duke of York he had ten thousand men. He marched them up to the top of the hill & he had them all again!!

 

Sticks & Stones may break my bones. Yet whips & Chains excite me!!

Atb

[dave88 1,565]

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock Cause Jill's real name is randy