Old Sayings

[THE STIFFMEISTER 16,038]

"I just put my hands on em, and they go!" Fellman 2006

 

"Well he can't be the dad , he was in Milan at a karate contest that week!" My mates misses on her husbands infidelity

 

An old lad near me who had greyhounds used to live by the mantra of "never trust a brindle"

[elliotmcc 67]

your that much of a smartarse you can sit on ice cream to tell the flavour

[elliotmcc 67]

"when you lamp a rabbit with a red lense it thinks its a cars tailights heading away from it" thought this was a screamer ?

[peterhunter86 8,627]

Tell the truth and shame the devil.

[mushroom 13,047]

Not mine officer, no idea how that got there.

[ceaser 364]

An eye on him like a turkey lookin at thunder

[hawki 1,431]

My nanny lived with us for a few months, when i used to bring birds back to my house i was about 19 at the time, i particularly liked this girl called glenda, the second or third time i brought her back we were all talking in the kitchen, she was telling my parents and nanny she liked me, when i nipped to the toilet on the way up the stairs i here my nanny say

"glenda just remember a standing cock has no conscience"

i nearly pissed my self laughing

[Whitebuck 145]

Shes that ugly she would make a dildo go soft.

A priest wouldnt molest her

The tide wouldnt take her out

 

Slagged a mate once for chatting up a fat bird, his answer was " im looking to shag her not lift her".

[grompz 703]

better the devil you know, than the one you dont.

[peterhunter86 8,627]

Virginity is like a balloon one prick and it's gone forever.

[Chaff 3,622]

Sweating like a rapist

[Daniel cain 45,564]

Smell your mother...

[Busher100 740]

Sweating like a pedophile in a barney suite.

[ginger beard 4,652]

tomo once put on here ''sweating like a blind lesbian at grimsby fish market''

[keepitcovert 842]

If brains were dynamite yours wouldnt blow your fecking hat off.