Staying With Your Lass

[Waz 4,252]

 

 

Stayed with my 1st wife until my daughter was at uni and my son at work , their wasn't any real tension at home , more just flatlining bumping along , going through the motions . Done the holidays etc all the normal family bits but in reality it was probably a waste of ten years , in fact when it happened my ex said she wished I'd done it when the kids were younger to give her some focus and take her mind of it , where as now the kids were of hand and she felt wasted . We were just turned forty , she had never been into buying the house or me being self employed, she would have rather been renting and me in a nine to five job .

I just walked away , took my van , tools guns and fishing gear and started again . She stayed single , sold the house , burnt my clothes and remained very very bitter to this day ..

My daughter and son are both married , both have a son , both have fabulous jobs and lifestyles ..waste of ten years ? Maybe not ..if I new then what I know now ....would have gone

earlier ..

Edited to say there was no third party for a couple of years ..

Are you my doppelganger? because that's pretty much my story

I've a couple of mates that would only need a name change for it to fit them almost as well K , I wonder how many people are doing the same as we did , recon there's a tidy few ..

 

 

In a round about way thats similar to my own scenario, I very nearly walked a good while ago. But if I had it might of been out of the frying pan into the fire & id already done that.

 

The lies and deceit are still going on, definately not in my kids best interest, only emotion I find myself having is pity, its that see through. Ive been dragged down and been beaten with experience. BUT, what dont kill ya makes you stronger they say, although I really think she done her best for the former.. I am stronger than ever. some temporary sacrifices have been made. But every dog has his day

[Waz 4,252]

I think their are some women who take full advantage of men that want to keep the family together 'for the sake of the kids' type relationships & will happily see you running round trying to please them.

Its probably learned behaviour from what ive seen, lazy self entitlement.

Lazy fcukers that dont put any effort into making the relationship work an turn their noses up at your best efforts to do right by your family.

 

If you find yourself doing it you are making a rod for your own back IMHO Worse still your kids may be learning this behaviour.

[kanny 20,446]

Definitely makes you stronger waz. . I moved out of my mother's at 17 straight into my ex,s... It was always fear of the unknown that kept me tethered but now I know I can do it on my own that fear has gone.. I've now moved on and married but it's a very different relationship to my first because that fear has gone I'm a stronger person for it for sure

[socks 32,253]

Why would you stay in a situation that makes you unhappy ... being miserable is going to effect the way you are with your kids whether you try and hide it or not kids ain't stupid and they pick up on things ... so you stay with somebody you don't love don't like and don't get on with for the sake of the kids who end up being brought up in a family environment where the parents show no love or emotion to each other or you move out and in a very short time the kids end up with two happy households they can visit ... they get double the love double the fun double the attention and in time when you've moved on and found somebody you love and enjoy being with they get to see and learn what being in a relationship really should be like .... in my opinion staying for the sake of the kids just causes them distress and an unhappy house to be brought up in and teaches them the complete wrong message about a relationship ........

[lurcherman 887 13,082]

Should thought about all this when you was slinging it up her making babys

[dave88 1,565]

Should thought about all this when you was slinging it up her making babys

Thought about what might happen years and years down the line? How many people think like that? Ive got 3 kids and one more on the way and ive never stopped to think about what might happen if in 15 years time i dont love my missus anymore. People can split up after spending most of their life with each other...no one would ever have kids if they thought like that Edited July 12, 2017 by daveee88

[Accip74 7,112]

Reading all this reminds me to thanks my lucky stars I didn't get my Ex of 9 years pregnant! What a fcuking disaster that would of been.........I shudder to think :-(

[Accip74 7,112]

 

Should thought about all this when you was slinging it up her making babys

Thought about what might happen years and years down the line? How many people think like that? Ive got 3 kids and one more on the way and ive never stopped to think about what might happen if in 15 years time i dont love my missus anymore. People can split up after spending most of their life with each other...no one would ever have kids if they thought like that

You never know mate, a good friend of mine is going through a fcuking nightmare right now with custody etc. he was with his wife 20 years before they had kids & now it's gone tits up, it's like he never knew her!

[j1985 1,983]

No, been there done that with my ex!! I was unhappy for years but had two daughters there and couldn't see a way out....Was a rough time when I left, telling the kids was f***ing horrible and had to move back with parents for a bit which was shit too but now 4 or so years later Iv got a new mrs a new house a 11 month old son and apart from my job at the minute I'm a happy man ??

[lurcherman 887 13,082]

 

Should thought about all this when you was slinging it up her making babys

Thought about what might happen years and years down the line? How many people think like that? Ive got 3 kids and one more on the way and ive never stopped to think about what might happen if in 15 years time i dont love my missus anymore. People can split up after spending most of their life with each other...no one would ever have kids if they thought like that

 

Bolloks lol. When you meet a girl you know strait away if shes a goer or a keeper.

[dave88 1,565]

 

 

Should thought about all this when you was slinging it up her making babys

Thought about what might happen years and years down the line? How many people think like that? Ive got 3 kids and one more on the way and ive never stopped to think about what might happen if in 15 years time i dont love my missus anymore. People can split up after spending most of their life with each other...no one would ever have kids if they thought like that

Bolloks lol. When you meet a girl you know strait away if shes a goer or a keeper.

Initially you do, definitely. But that doesnt mean things dont change, people change and so do circumstances...you can love someone more than anything in the world but that doesnt instantly mean youre gonna be together forever

[Accip74 7,112]

Some people are just a lousy judge of character or shallow as fcuk............so mistakes happen.

[keepdiggin 9,559]

Should thought about all this when you was slinging it up her making babys

I think everyone just ignores you now

[marshman 7,757]

If you're not happy then there's no point staying I do agree with that although I do think people jack on their relationship with their kids and wife a bit to easy these days.

[lurcherman 887 13,082]

 

Should thought about all this when you was slinging it up her making babys

I think everyone just ignores you now

 

Nope. Just the truth