Staying With Your Lass

[mushroom 13,226]

Best thing I ever did was NOT stay with my ex for the sake of the kid. Now 12/13 years later, the daughter is living with me, loving life in Spain.

 

The most important thing is to put all the bullshit aside and both of you do what is right for the kids, without any emotion or hatred for each other.

 

Edited to add;

 

Not every mother or father is capable of this, unfortunately...

 

 

Atvb Shroom

Edited July 11, 2017 by mushroom

[DIDO.1 22,845]

Best thing I ever did was NOT stay with my ex for the sake of the kid. Now 12/13 years later, the daughter is living with me, loving life in Spain.

 

The most important thing is to put all the bullshit aside and both of you do what is right for the kids, without any emotion or hatred for each other.

 

Edited to add;

 

Not every mother or father is capable of this, unfortunately...

 

 

Atvb Shroom

Didn't realize you had your daughter out there with you pal....I bet you really do enjoy your time out there seeing her growing up in the sun

[Qbgrey 4,142]

i think money or lack of it put alot of pressure on couples,kids means non stop work,no time off,always playing catchup with the bank balance.feels like you not getting anywere.

[Jonjon79 13,358]

 

i think money or lack of it put alot of pressure on couples,kids means non stop work,no time off,always playing catchup with the bank balance.feels like you not getting anywere.

I've my first due in a month. Thanks for settling the nerves hahaha

Congratulations mate

 

Just remember, it won't be easy and, you'll get out whatever you're prepared to put in

 

Good luck and all the best with your new family.

 

The first is always a magical time

[Waz 4,266]

My mates mum and dad stayed together for his younger brothers sake. They lived in seperate rooms always at each other's throats. Mate and his brothers had zero respect for their dad right upto the day he died. He was a good guy as well. Just in a bad environment

thats a sad tale

[mushroom 13,226]

 

Best thing I ever did was NOT stay with my ex for the sake of the kid. Now 12/13 years later, the daughter is living with me, loving life in Spain.

 

The most important thing is to put all the bullshit aside and both of you do what is right for the kids, without any emotion or hatred for each other.

 

Edited to add;

 

Not every mother or father is capable of this, unfortunately...

 

 

Atvb Shroom

Didn't realize you had your daughter out there with you pal....I bet you really do enjoy your time out there seeing her growing up in the sun

 

Aye mate she's here, has great friends, school etc and in her words; sees opportunities she knows she would never have without being here

 

Total respect to her mum for being there for her daughter, not herself

[ginger beard 4,652]

to just be thinking about it say's it all really.

[Jonjon79 13,358]

 

 

 

Best thing I ever did was NOT stay with my ex for the sake of the kid. Now 12/13 years later, the daughter is living with me, loving life in Spain.

 

The most important thing is to put all the bullshit aside and both of you do what is right for the kids, without any emotion or hatred for each other.

 

Edited to add;

 

Not every mother or father is capable of this, unfortunately...

 

 

Atvb Shroom

Didn't realize you had your daughter out there with you pal....I bet you really do enjoy your time out there seeing her growing up in the sun

Aye mate she's here, has great friends, school etc and in her words; sees opportunities she knows she would never have without being here

 

Total respect to her mum for being there for her daughter, not herself

Growing up bilingual is no bad thing

 

Good luck to her

[Accip74 7,112]

The trouble with people staying in a loveless & often sexless relationship, is sooner or later one or both will start fcukng around, which will make the situation a whole lot worse, especially for the kids......

 

My dad waited for me to grow up a bit, (me being the youngest) before he fcuked off, but I knew for years he wasn't happy, right from a really young age I had this feeling he would go, that strangely, neither my older brother or sister, who were 7 & 5 years older than me ever picked up on?

The first affair he got caught out on I was about 12, then it was a slow miserable decline for the next 5 years.............He should just been straight & fcuked off then, but it's easy to say that now I suppose....

[Jonjon79 13,358]

There's some sad stories on this thread.

 

Coming from Romany Gypsy origins, a strong sense of family has been installed - we stick together and work together. Working through our problems makes us stronger.

.... We keep these matters private and, it works for us.

 

It's not always a bed of roses but, communication is key and, there's never a need to raise a hand to your missus.

 

My greatgrandparents, grandparents, parents and, us are the same.

 

It works if you want it to

[sussex 5,777]

Stayed with my 1st wife until my daughter was at uni and my son at work , their wasn't any real tension at home , more just flatlining bumping along , going through the motions . Done the holidays etc all the normal family bits but in reality it was probably a waste of ten years , in fact when it happened my ex said she wished I'd done it when the kids were younger to give her some focus and take her mind of it , where as now the kids were of hand and she felt wasted . We were just turned forty , she had never been into buying the house or me being self employed, she would have rather been renting and me in a nine to five job .

I just walked away , took my van , tools guns and fishing gear and started again . She stayed single , sold the house , burnt my clothes and remained very very bitter to this day ..

My daughter and son are both married , both have a son , both have fabulous jobs and lifestyles ..waste of ten years ? Maybe not ..if I new then what I know now ....would have gone

earlier ..

 

Edited to say there was no third party for a couple of years ..

[mushroom 13,226]

 

 

 

Best thing I ever did was NOT stay with my ex for the sake of the kid. Now 12/13 years later, the daughter is living with me, loving life in Spain.

 

The most important thing is to put all the bullshit aside and both of you do what is right for the kids, without any emotion or hatred for each other.

 

Edited to add;

 

Not every mother or father is capable of this, unfortunately...

 

 

Atvb Shroom

Didn't realize you had your daughter out there with you pal....I bet you really do enjoy your time out there seeing her growing up in the sun

Aye mate she's here, has great friends, school etc and in her words; sees opportunities she knows she would never have without being here

 

Total respect to her mum for being there for her daughter, not herself

Growing up bilingual is no bad thing

 

Good luck to her

 

Thanks mate

 

Right now she is in Blighty for two months with her mum and her fella (a top bloke imo and my daughter loves him).

 

As I said it's working together for your kids that is important. It doesn't matter if you are together or not, the kids will always see the positive relationship just as much as they will also see the negative if it is there.

[kanny 20,703]

Stayed with my 1st wife until my daughter was at uni and my son at work , their wasn't any real tension at home , more just flatlining bumping along , going through the motions . Done the holidays etc all the normal family bits but in reality it was probably a waste of ten years , in fact when it happened my ex said she wished I'd done it when the kids were younger to give her some focus and take her mind of it , where as now the kids were of hand and she felt wasted . We were just turned forty , she had never been into buying the house or me being self employed, she would have rather been renting and me in a nine to five job .

I just walked away , took my van , tools guns and fishing gear and started again . She stayed single , sold the house , burnt my clothes and remained very very bitter to this day ..

My daughter and son are both married , both have a son , both have fabulous jobs and lifestyles ..waste of ten years ? Maybe not ..if I new then what I know now ....would have gone

earlier ..

Edited to say there was no third party for a couple of years ..

Are you my doppelganger? because that's pretty much my story

[arcticgun 4,548]

Mush bang on, in cases where your both miserable or one of you is, best face up too it and part, it's about putting the kids first, kids should end up gaining from it imho, my eldest lad always says he enjoys having a bigger family, my wife has been invaluable too him growing up, even his own mother says so , we have had his sister stay over with our daughter, wives eldest boy been on hols with ex missus and her partner, put the kids first and make it work, beats them been raised around silence, or constant conflict

Edited July 12, 2017 by arcticgun

[sussex 5,777]

 

Stayed with my 1st wife until my daughter was at uni and my son at work , their wasn't any real tension at home , more just flatlining bumping along , going through the motions . Done the holidays etc all the normal family bits but in reality it was probably a waste of ten years , in fact when it happened my ex said she wished I'd done it when the kids were younger to give her some focus and take her mind of it , where as now the kids were of hand and she felt wasted . We were just turned forty , she had never been into buying the house or me being self employed, she would have rather been renting and me in a nine to five job .

I just walked away , took my van , tools guns and fishing gear and started again . She stayed single , sold the house , burnt my clothes and remained very very bitter to this day ..

My daughter and son are both married , both have a son , both have fabulous jobs and lifestyles ..waste of ten years ? Maybe not ..if I new then what I know now ....would have gone

earlier ..

Edited to say there was no third party for a couple of years ..

Are you my doppelganger? because that's pretty much my story

I've a couple of mates that would only need a name change for it to fit them almost as well K , I wonder how many people are doing the same as we did , recon there's a tidy few ..