Jonjon79 13,358 Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 Stay. It's not the kids fault. They deserve a happy, stable upbringing. Your mate has to man up and make sure that happens, for their sake. When the kids are old enough, walk away if you still want to. The older generation managed to make it work ....... Overcoming problems should make a sronger couple - life isn't always easy 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurcherman 887 13,283 Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 Imagine your kids waking up to another man in your bed Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kanny 21,063 Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 Stay. It's not the kids fault. They deserve a happy, stable upbringing. Your mate has to man up and make sure that happens, for their sake. When the kids are old enough, walk away if you still want to. The older generation managed to make it work ....... Overcoming problems should make a sronger couple - life isn't always easy I found it was harder on my girls being older than it was on my lad who was 3 at the time ....the girls just about put up with my present wife but my lad has a fantastic relationship with her . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
peterhunter86 8,627 Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 Imagine your kids waking up to another man in your bed You still bringing strange men home Kevin. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bird 10,013 Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 Stay. It's not the kids fault. They deserve a happy, stable upbringing. Your mate has to man up and make sure that happens, for their sake. When the kids are old enough, walk away if you still want to. The older generation managed to make it work ....... Overcoming problems should make a sronger couple - life isn't always easy spot on , ive been married 34 years , and know lots of couples who split up and divorced and most got kids , and i got 2 bothers and 2 sisters all divorced , and with new partners and got kids . ok there kids grew up and settle to a new way of life when parents split , but i know deff it left few scars with the kids. dont get me wrong ive been close to it few times my self, you do you get fed up and bored of each other, it only natural . but my son who 30 and married and expecting there 1st child any day now , he is a nice bloke who had 2 people try there best for him, and bring him up in a stable fair way of life . i think one of the factors for me as a man, the reason ive lasted so long in my marriage , is i was very promiscuous = shager before i got married , i put it around fair bit lol, i go out on friday night , and not get back home till monday, good god i woke up in some bloody places with some women , some crackers , and some rough as arse holes lol . But i think i got it out of my system , i was getting fed up of getting pissed up and messing about, i was approaching 30 and i think started to grow up at last . people fall out , and some times think with there prick and not there head , and the grass is never greener the other side , got lots of memories and a worn out back lol , but i am glad i give my son a good upbringing if nothing else 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shovel leaner 7,650 Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 Stay. It's not the kids fault. They deserve a happy, stable upbringing. Your mate has to man up and make sure that happens, for their sake. When the kids are old enough, walk away if you still want to. The older generation managed to make it work ....... Overcoming problems should make a sronger couple - life isn't always easy yeah but the older generation used to give her a slap now and then if she played up ....can't do that now . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shovel leaner 7,650 Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 You talk about the older generation and we look back on it with rose tinted glasses, no divorce and all that , but the reality was a lot of miserable family's . I can only speak from my own experience. My parents never got divorced, but I can tell you that when I used to hear the front door go after he got back from the pub I knew it would kick off . I can still remember that sick feeling in my stomach. I wished he had left home , and they had got divorced, I'm sure it would have been better than hearing you mum getting the shit kicked out of her . The result in my life is that I have been with my Mrs for 26 years , I don't drink or gamble and I treat my wife with respect . If things ever got to the stage where our relationship broke down , I would walk away , because your kids will pick up on the tension and it will f@ck them up . 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
j j m 6,567 Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 a big no no,i come from a family that my mother and father fought all night through drink,i wish my mother had left him we saw a lot of violence as kids which we should never of saw,theres nothing worse being a young kid seeing your mother being beaten bye you dad,if thinks went wrong in my marriages i walked which i did 3 times but always had good quality time with my kids who have all done well for them selves 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neems 2,406 Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 Kids come first,if drink makes things worse stop drinking,facebook etc even this site won't help either. Bare in mind kids raised by single mothers don't do well. What could be more important than raising your own legacy? An easy life? Certainly not something to take lightly. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tb25 4,627 Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 Am sure your kid would want to happy parents rather than two what are at each other all the time..And that's what will happen if the only reason your both together for.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 There is a whole host of things to consider when splitting up , kids or no kids, sometimes finances just don't allow couples to separate , one of you has to leave the matrimonial home & either sofa surf or hope your finances allow you to private rent . Most couples split on '' good terms for the kids'' until the woman meets a new bloke then the kids become a bargaining tool , my advice is split if its absolutely unbearable & stay single for at least 5 years Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dave88 1,565 Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 (edited) Its been said already but staying together for the kids isn't always the right thing to do...if parents are ripping it out of each other all the time then surely thats worse for the kids to see than seperated parents. My parents were always fighting when i was a kid...tables flung across dining rooms, raised fists, dinner plates used as frisbees...and it was horrible to see...i was playing referee to my parents from the age of 12. At the end of the day though the final decision is up to your 'friend' to do what best suits his situation Edited July 11, 2017 by daveee88 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
micky 3,325 Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 Been married 45 years and never gone more than a couple of hours without having a few words, had five kids and never laid a finger on any of them or the Wife, money is a problem for many couples and we have been lucky to earn plenty , if you cannot earn it, go and take it . 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurcherman 887 13,283 Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 Been married 45 years and never gone more than a couple of hours without having a few words, had five kids and never laid a finger on any of them or the Wife, money is a problem for many couples and we have been lucky to earn plenty , if you cannot earn it, go and take it . Well said Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MOLE265 792 Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 Been married 45 years and never gone more than a couple of hours without having a few words, had five kids and never laid a finger on any of them or the Wife, money is a problem for many couples and we have been lucky to earn plenty , if you cannot earn it, go and take it . Yep money is always a problem because woman alway want more. Fact. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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