Nik_B 3,790 Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 Sometimes though Gnash striving for more you can lose sight of what you actually have , I know 1 bloke who could make the Times Rich list & he is so driven he in my eyes doesn't enjoy what he's actually got !! You should ask him what his dreams are, that would be interesting Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lanesra 3,994 Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 Sometimes though Gnash striving for more you can lose sight of what you actually have , I know 1 bloke who could make the Times Rich list & he is so driven he in my eyes doesn't enjoy what he's actually got !! You should ask him what his dreams are, that would be interesting I think his dream is having as much money as he can , making more that he'll put with the rest & never spend which I don't understand as you can't bring it with you !! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 Living the dream again tonight ..... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nik_B 3,790 Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 I think maybe 'living the dream' also depends on whether you're someone who's happy with 'enough', or you need 'full up'.... Satisfied vs Satiated. Most of us can find joy in seeing a rainbow, and a sense of purpose in unblocking the drain. It's about how much ego-centred pleasure and fulfilment you need/ want, and where you set the balance point against your loved ones and their needs. (Maybe whether you need loved ones?) For me 'the dream' is finding that balance point. (She gave a hollow laugh). Couldn't agree more and I think most people on THL get that through our love of hunting or being outdoors. Where I used to live I could only walk the dog round the block sometimes. I would look at all the fancy cars on the drives and see the money they'd throw at their homes etc and think I bet that is all on tick. Those people must work themselves to death just to pay debt, I bet many never get to have kids either. I used to joke that they probably all thought I was on the dole because I was scruffy with ripped jeans walking the dog different hours of the day, at times I probably earned more than them I just didn't feel the need to 'keep up with the Jones's'. The fact that we enjoy looking in to fields or at a hedgerow wondering what might be in there puts us closer to true happiness than most of those drones will ever know...so what if they have the latest car lol 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nik_B 3,790 Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 Sometimes though Gnash striving for more you can lose sight of what you actually have , I know 1 bloke who could make the Times Rich list & he is so driven he in my eyes doesn't enjoy what he's actually got !! You should ask him what his dreams are, that would be interesting I think his dream is having as much money as he can , making more that he'll put with the rest & never spend which I don't understand as you can't bring it with you !! I wonder what people like that think when they're lying on their deathbed....was it worth it to spend every waking moment accumulating more than everyone else because.......? I suppose what ever floats their boats and all that lol I could quite honestly have a job earning £140,000 a year but I would have to hardly see my family and spend at least half if not most of the year away from home....bollocks to that. I would love the money though lol Edit: that's not meant to sound boastful, I dont earn close to that because I work from home but the temptation of my mates was to do it for a couple of years & 'get set up' but it never works like that, they end up with massive houses and expensive cars and then when the downturns come (which they always do) the sh*t hits the fan. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Squeamish5 309 Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 Sometimes though Gnash striving for more you can lose sight of what you actually have , I know 1 bloke who could make the Times Rich list & he is so driven he in my eyes doesn't enjoy what he's actually got !! I think committing to family can also get in the way of Ambition for some, tough decisions have to be made. My best mate is often in two minds about it, a great highflying job travelling all over the world, but doesn't see his boy from one week to the next.......obviously he'll have a cracking pension at the end of it, but at what cost? Just to add, re working away, Himself worked away for 8 years from when kids were 3 & 5 til 11 & 13. As it happens, I was talking to them about this the other week. They both said they didn't ever feel like he was absent from their lives, and that they only remember feeling like 'us 4' just with dad being somewhere else working. When he had breaks between jobs he was working on our place back in the sticks. The only resentment our kids seem to have is that all their school holidays were spent on a building site, mixing cement or driving a mower rather than in Spain or euro Disney where their friends went. (Poor deprived scraps that they are). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nik_B 3,790 Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 Sometimes though Gnash striving for more you can lose sight of what you actually have , I know 1 bloke who could make the Times Rich list & he is so driven he in my eyes doesn't enjoy what he's actually got !! I think committing to family can also get in the way of Ambition for some, tough decisions have to be made. My best mate is often in two minds about it, a great highflying job travelling all over the world, but doesn't see his boy from one week to the next.......obviously he'll have a cracking pension at the end of it, but at what cost? Anyone who thinks family is getting in the way of anything deserves nothing in my opinion. I know you aren't suggesting that ( and quoting you isn't me arguing against you) but nothing should ever come above family, yes we have to make choices and decisions but ambition can become ego and materialism. There are things that have happened as a result of my working away that I can't/won't talk about but if I could go back I would never have made the same choices. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nik_B 3,790 Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 Sometimes though Gnash striving for more you can lose sight of what you actually have , I know 1 bloke who could make the Times Rich list & he is so driven he in my eyes doesn't enjoy what he's actually got !! I think committing to family can also get in the way of Ambition for some, tough decisions have to be made. My best mate is often in two minds about it, a great highflying job travelling all over the world, but doesn't see his boy from one week to the next.......obviously he'll have a cracking pension at the end of it, but at what cost? Just to add, re working away, Himself worked away for 8 years from when kids were 3 & 5 til 11 & 13.As it happens, I was talking to them about this the other week. They both said they didn't ever feel like he was absent from their lives, and that they only remember feeling like 'us 4' just with dad being somewhere else working. When he had breaks between jobs he was working on our place back in the sticks. The only resentment our kids seem to have is that all their school holidays were spent on a building site, mixing cement or driving a mower rather than in Spain or euro Disney where their friends went. (Poor deprived scraps that they are). I assume you're a woman...Did you also work? If not then that works just fine but when you have the man working away and the woman working as well and the kids are basically being raised by some other people then it's a recipe for disaster. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Squeamish5 309 Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 Sometimes though Gnash striving for more you can lose sight of what you actually have , I know 1 bloke who could make the Times Rich list & he is so driven he in my eyes doesn't enjoy what he's actually got !! I think committing to family can also get in the way of Ambition for some, tough decisions have to be made. My best mate is often in two minds about it, a great highflying job travelling all over the world, but doesn't see his boy from one week to the next.......obviously he'll have a cracking pension at the end of it, but at what cost? Just to add, re working away, Himself worked away for 8 years from when kids were 3 & 5 til 11 & 13.As it happens, I was talking to them about this the other week. They both said they didn't ever feel like he was absent from their lives, and that they only remember feeling like 'us 4' just with dad being somewhere else working. When he had breaks between jobs he was working on our place back in the sticks. The only resentment our kids seem to have is that all their school holidays were spent on a building site, mixing cement or driving a mower rather than in Spain or euro Disney where their friends went. (Poor deprived scraps that they are). I assume you're a woman...Did you also work? If not then that works just fine but when you have the man working away and the woman working as well and the kids are basically being raised by some other people then it's a recipe for disaster. Recipe for disaster lol....I didn't have a career, I did do a degree and did work part time. I had (had already built) a solid network of friends who shared child care when needed...( 1 biochemist, 2 housewives, 1 property developer), quite apart from schoolground mums. Just like with training a dog, or going on a diet, it's about the commitment you make. If you want it to work, you make it work. (Not claiming any great success with dog, I have to admit, or diet, but both kids late 20s doin just fine to date thanks). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nik_B 3,790 Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 I dont understand what you're saying. I wasn't attacking you I was asking if you were a full time worker. I think that someone should be at home with the kids and generally the wife/mother is better at that job that useless blokes. So if you are saying you spent most of your time at home with your kids with maybe a part time job then yeh the man working away works fine as long as you have the commitment. If you want to be a high flyer as well then your kids are losing out unless somehow you've got the cash and contacts to figure something else out. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Accip74 7,112 Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 Sometimes though Gnash striving for more you can lose sight of what you actually have , I know 1 bloke who could make the Times Rich list & he is so driven he in my eyes doesn't enjoy what he's actually got !! I think committing to family can also get in the way of Ambition for some, tough decisions have to be made. My best mate is often in two minds about it, a great highflying job travelling all over the world, but doesn't see his boy from one week to the next.......obviously he'll have a cracking pension at the end of it, but at what cost? Anyone who thinks family is getting in the way of anything deserves nothing in my opinion. I know you aren't suggesting that ( and quoting you isn't me arguing against you) but nothing should ever come above family, yes we have to make choices and decisions but ambition can become ego and materialism. There are things that have happened as a result of my working away that I can't/won't talk about but if I could go back I would never have made the same choices. Yes I know what mean. I was kind of talking of personal experience as well,...My dad was absent a hell of a lot working abroad etc throughout my childhood, through some times when I really could of done with him being around tbh. ....& with the benefit of hindsight & in view of how things turned with our family, none of it was worth it really..... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Francie 6,368 Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 I have been offered to work abroad a few times over the years, an i turned it down, no way would i leave my children to work, f**k that. I worked in scotland for a time when my son was young an never again. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 13,103 Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 The place I have just been staying,you can see the windsock on the 650 meter grass strip,the couple gave up a Manchester semi for a truly idyllic lifestyle and a thriving business,lots of outbuildings you could do up for B&B gives,I am booking some lessons in the Pyrenees with a guy who has done similar,left the UK and now teaches flying because it's his passion,but all dreams cost cash,I met a guy the other day who teaches paramotor,fixed-wing,flex-wing AND gyrocopter,but only at weekends as he is a bus driver,he doesn't have the courage to jack the buses in and venture out on his own as a flight instructor,but he certainly has the skills,just no self belief. There is a place near me (masella) that teacches all this and skydiving (a lot of fun) ? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lukey 1,621 Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 I lived in the same town all my life until a year ago. Decided i wanted to have a change of scenery. Even the last few weeks before i was due to leave to go to the highlands i was starting to get wee niggles and second thoughts. Mates ribbing me about moving and id last a couple months tops lol However i thought im not going to be the one who few years down the line thinking "i should have done it" so i bit the bullet and packed my belongings up and headed north. Im glad i did aswell. Its a big difference from a big town but i love it wish i had done it years ago.living in a stunning part of the UK and can walk for miles without seeing a soul sometimes. Well not during summer when thousands from all over tge world decend on the place lol met some really nice people to. Granted i didnt leave scotland but for me this move was something i thought i wouldnt ever consider. Even started taking up fishing more seriously. Surrounded in lochs and mountains and widlidlife is in abundance. Where did you go mate? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lukey 1,621 Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 Never really had thoughts of going elsewhere but starting having wee thoughts of moving to Oz. Better life style better money ect. Would hate to leave my family though Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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