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Any Advice For An Englishman Moving To Scotland?


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I made the move from salubrious Salford to bonnie Scotland many years ago.

My advice would be: Don't get involved in Celtic Rangers religious banter. They know what's acceptable. You don't. The rivalry is deadly serious. People still get killed for wearing the wrong shirt at the wrong time. This crap is mostly confined to Glasgow however.

Don't refer to scots as 'Scotch'. Scotch is a drink or a produce not a Scottish person.

Don't refer to Andy Murray or any other successful scot as British or even worse English. They go apeshit about that. You will hear the native cry of 'he's scottish ya bastart'.

Accept that the scots love to see England beaten at any sport. They still think their 'fitba' team are worldbeaters and love to tell you that. I remember in 1978 watching the Scotland football team in a pub. Archie Gemmel scored . The pub erupted and the whole bar started to roar 'Flower of Scotland' whilst pointing at me.

If you want to shut them up about fitba just say 'is that the time? 9 past Haafey'. Haafey was the scottish goalie who let in 9 goals against England in 1961. He emigrated after that.

Male scots don't talk much. They grunt a lot. The joke about the Englishman walking into a scots' pub saying 'hello' to the guys at the bar and being told to 'shut the f**k up, I came here to drink Jimmy, no tae talk' is about right.

Accept you are going to get called an english c**t/bastart/shit. It's no big deal. They have a chip on their shoulders about us (who wouldn't given what was done to them over many centuries) but I've never been truly discriminated against because of my Englishness.

Be aware Scotland is much more left wing/bolshie than England. The tories are the enemy, English, plum- voiced public school boys are hated with particular intensity. Farage/UKIP are hated as well. Farage had to have scores of police ( the f****n polis) to rescue him from a pub in Edinburgh where hundreds of scots had him holed up. Brexit is not supported by two thirds of scots.

Scots see everybody as equals--any posing as a superior will get you a 'dunt in the baas'.

Listen and don't say much until you get your bearings. You are a guest in their country so be respectful.

When you've been here a few years then you can open up and rip the piss out of them. Jock baiting is very enjoyable. They are easily roused, the most easily wound up people in the world. :laugh:

'A guest in their country'!?!?

 

Funny cos anyone who moves to England....Even if they are black as the ace of spades and don't speak a word of English, has to be referred to as British as the rest of us or we are racist. These attacks coming from left wing farage haters like the jocks.

 

Load of pasty faced, country ruining gobshites.

 

Sorry for the rant.

Enjoy your move

PRICK

PRICK LOL.

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I made the move from salubrious Salford to bonnie Scotland many years ago. My advice would be: Don't get involved in Celtic Rangers religious banter. They know what's acceptable. You don't. The riva

The english arent hated up here no them all just the ones that come up with money, a silver spoon in there mouth and immediately start trying to change things because its not the way its done in good

Apart from "fcuk of back to England" lol pick keys up next week and really looking forward to it! Nice little smallholding with a nice little river on my doorstep, smack bang in the middle of a privat

good luck,i don't think you'll regret it.wish i had the balls to move to rural scotland/wales/exmoor.somewhere where your nearest neighbour is miles away.

my nearest neighbour is a trout fishery! Il'll need to resist temptation in the midnight hours lol
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So you're taking bonny home Ant..

Good luck with it all mate, I love it up there... it's just a bloody long drive away!!

be a handy stop off for you and the family if you decide to go see furgs mum mate. There's plenty of room if you want to the night/weekend/week nai bother ;)
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So you're taking bonny home Ant..

Good luck with it all mate, I love it up there... it's just a bloody long drive away!!

be a handy stop off for you and the family if you decide to go see furgs mum mate. There's plenty of room if you want to the night/weekend/week nai bother ;)

Thanks Ant, most appreciated...

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Just take it easy when you first get out and about.

That area is a bit hot due to a few who are well into the game and not shy about it. The cops are dicks up here for hunting.

 

The area is stunning, head a wee bit South and you are in a hunting wilderness paradise mate.

 

And chill, Scots don`t hate the English, we just love making them think we do.

 

Welcome mate, and my kettle is always on.

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two things it's "a roll and sausage" not a sausage roll that will get you palmed of with a horrible bit of pastry and bit of meat in the middle and two if some says "[bANNED TEXT] ya c**t" that's just how we great people perfectly acceptable. Best of luck with the move

Link or square sausage lol

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